Here Comes the Flood

I write this knowing that a lot of people had it a lot harder then I did this past weekend during all the storms. Still, I did have to deal with some flooding of my own. I spent this past Friday evening sitting on my ass and catching up with my netflix queue. Since there was no Cubs game on, I just wanted to relax and watch some movies and stay up late knowing that I did not have to work the next day.

I still like staying up late watching movies at my advanced age. I think I inherited this from my Dad. I remember many a Friday night in the summers I would visit him laying awake until all hours of night watching bad horror movies hosted by Fritz the night owl on a local Columbus, Ohio television station. So, with that in mind, I stayed up late Friday watching some netflix dvd’s and some bad cable. I don’t remember exactly what time it was when I finally crashed but it was late.

Joyce had to work Saturday morning. She woke me when she got up which was 7ish to alert me that there was water in our utility room. We have stairs that go into our basement from outside in the back yard. At the bottom of the stairway sits a storm drain. If that drain is clogged the excess water has no where to go other then under the door and into our utility room. We have another drain in the utility room but that one goes to our sewage pump. The storm drain goes to our storm pump.

A year earlier I had to snake the drain (sounds like something you would hear at a swinger’s party.) So, I figured that this was all I had to do this time. So, I dragged my tired 39 year old carcass out of bed and went outside in the pouring rain to do exactly that. I usually can do this with a wire coat hanger. However as I was fishing around for a clog I did not find anything. Meanwhile as I am outside I am getting wetter then Lindsey Lohan at a Hooters on a cold day.

Finally, I say fuck it and head to Ace Hardware to buy an actual drain snake. I get it and return home and nothing. I am turning the handle on the thing and again it not catching anything. And, since it is still raining the water is continuing to rise. I had a spare pump that my Step Dad had left at my house a while back. So, I was using that to pump the water out of the bottom of the stairway as best I could. But as this pump was not equipped to be used in that fashion the motor kept overheating. So, it was a constant battle to keep the water at its current level. I wasn’t winning, I was maintaining.

I always hesitate to call me Step-Dad to help me in times like this. I mean I have owned my house four years now. I feel I should know by now what to do in times like this. Everytime he comes over, I do my best to pay attention and see what he is doing. My logic is not to call him for the same problem twice. Once I see how it is fixed I can usually figure it out the next time. Of course a part of me whishes I had paid attention to this shit when I was a teenager as opposed to just holding a flashlight.

So, I call Lou. He comes over and brings this industrial snake drain that he has had since the LBJ years. He tells me he has never seen this thing fail to snake a drain. Well, just my luck the thing is not able to do anything. So, we make yet another trip to Ace this time for a drain balloon. For a picture see this http://plumbing.hardwarestore.com/51-285-clog-busters/drain-king-uncloger-662892.aspx

This thing is for a big clog which at this point we figure is what I have. We head back to my house attach the thing and try to unclog it. Again, we are disappointed in the results. Now, things are starting to look grim. Lou thinks I may have to call Roto Rooter or I may have a broken pipe. This is not good as both options are not cheap. I am starting to curse the situation.

At some point with no other options we decide to look in the crawl space to see if the storm pump is working, when we at long last realize what the problem really is. The crawl space has also taken on water. Meaning that the pump is not working. (Why we didn’t look there first is beyond me.) So, a third trip to Ace is made to get a new pump.

Of course now the hard part comes in. We have to crawl through an inch of water in my crawl space to where pump resides to replace it. This was not pretty or a whole lot of fun. But, as soon as we were able to put the new pump all normalcy was restored. The drain outside starting draining and the water in the crawl space evaporated. Joyce and I have a lot of cleanup but, at least if that happens again I know what to look for.

Still, both Lou and I were a complete mess. We stank, were tired and filthy. I cracked open an Old Style I had sitting in the fridge when it was all over and it was the most satisfying beer I have drank in a very long time.