New Rules

Here are ten rules that trust me you will be better off if you live by them.

Never stay at a motel that states as a sales pitch in 2009 that they offer color TV.

Don’t send food back at a restaurant. Anyone that has ever worked at a dining establishment will fill you in on the horrors they have witnessed in the kitchen to food that was sent back.

On a similar note if you are going out to eat ethnic food and you don’t see at least one person of that ethnicity eating there it probably sucks so go eat somewhere else.

If a woman asks you your opinion between two pieces of clothing, just tell her to buy them both. You can never go wrong with that answer.

Never play cards with a guy who has the same name as a city. (Stole that from Teen Wolf, of all movies but it works.)

If a woman asks you if you have any kids, don’t answer none that I know of. That was never funny and even if it was at one time it stopped being so, in like 1986. Plus it kind of makes you look like an asshole.

When driving if at all possible never get behind a mini-van.

Put your cell phone in your pocket and on vibrate. If you are still wearing your cell phone on your belt buckle you are being mocked at behind your back, trust me. Also catchy, inane, ringtones are obnoxious and make you look so 1997.

Wait a minimum of one year and at least two service pack updates before installing any Microsoft product.

When at a restaurant don’t be a hero. Meaning if you are at Red Lobster don’t order the steak. You are always better ordering the item that restaurant is best known for. When you start to stray you more times than not will be sorry.