Java Jive

I haven’t had a cup of coffee since June, 22 1998. When I tell people this I get all kinds of perplexed looks. Most individuals that I encounter drink coffee and usually copious amounts of it. My co-worker in Chicago would have at least 6 cups before lunch it seemed. Why I quit coffee isn’t really an interesting story but one I guess I should explain.

I used to drink coffee. I used to drink a lot of it. In the mid nineties I was no doubt as most adults are, addicted. Caffeine is a drug like anything else and the more you use it the more addicted to it you become. Now, I was a 2 to 3 cup a day guy. Nothing earth shattering. My brother back in the day was a bigger consumer of java. He used to make it so strong he used to say, “That isn’t a cup of Joe it is a cup of Joseph.”

My addiction was much tamer. I would get up in the morning and get my first cup at the Chicago Ridge train station. There was this guy who ran a roach coach who was there every morning at the train station I used to board. For coffee out of a truck it was pretty good. It would give me that first bolt in the morning that most times I felt I really needed. This was my mid twenties and I was usually getting really shitty sleep. I either had a softball game the night before or I would have gone out with my friends.

Back then every Wednesday was spent at BJ McMahons. They had this special every Hump Day of 50 cent domestic drafts. I spent a lot of time there drinking Budweiser (back then I was a Bud guy) and playing darts. It was a lot of fun. That is until Thursday morning rolled around and I had to get up and go to work. Without that cup of coffee or two in the morning I would have never made it.

At least this is what I thought. Now after not having had any morning coffee in nearly eleven years I realize it was just my addiction I needed to feed. After my cup that I had on the train I would slog into IRI and grab a cup there as well. The free coffee they had in the cafeteria was pure shit. It was the cheapest worst tasting tar that I ever had. Thankfully, I moved to the Monroe building and there the client services team had some good stuff. I would usually steal a cup from them in the small break room we had in that building.

Eventually I changed jobs and I started working for Monsanto. When I moved to the Merchandise Mart they not only had free coffee but it was Starbucks. I increased my coffee intake at this point to 3-4 cups per morning. The problem with all this coffee was it was nuking my stomach.

Sadly, I inherited the Francone stomach. My grandfather for as long as I knew the man had stomach issues. He drank Mylanta like it was water. (It didn’t help that he smoked, drank coffee by the gallons and ate at least one meal a day at the greasiest truck stops located throughout the Chicagoland area.) All that coffee was wreaking havoc on my digestive system. I was getting these massive stomach pains which at first I wasn’t sure what the cause was.

I started the Mylanta diet and tried to figure out the culprit to my dietary issues. One day while I was reading about stomach ailments online I saw that coffee was one of the leading culprits. At that point the idea of giving up the sweet black beverage was not too appealing but I was sick of the stomach problems I was having. So, the day before I turned 29 I decided to see if I could do it.

I dove in head first and quit cold turkey. The first couple of days in a word, sucked. I head a headache for pretty much a week. I was sluggish and was overall in a shitty mood. The one positive is my stomach seemed to be better. However, it seemed I traded one ailment for a whole bunch of others. Slowly but surely the effects of my caffeine withdrawal subsided. Eventually my headache went away I started to feel like Nick again.

Nowadays I drink a cup of either red or green tea (decaffeinated) in the morning. I find myself rarely missing coffee anymore. I have known my wife over 10 years and in that time I have not shared one cup of coffee with her. My fear is that if I cave in again and have a cup I will go right back to being hooked. With all the other vices I have, java is one I guess I have bargained with myself I can live without. The funny thing is now I don’t even miss it. I have energy in the morning without it.

I firmly believe the reason I always felt like I needed that cup of Joe in the morning wasn’t because I needed the energy boost. It was that I was addicted to caffeine and I needed it to get going. My body had become dependent on it to start my day. Trust me, I am no tea totaler and I don’t begrudge people their morning Starbucks. (I mean my wife still loves coffee though she is a Dunkin Donuts fan.) If that gives you pleasure far be it me to tell anyone they shouldn’t enjoy it. For me personally, I can live without the coffee and I feel better for it.