Get Drunk and Get Laid

I don’t care how this sounds, underage kids should experiment. That includes with booze and sex. When I say underage I mean like late teens. I know that sounds about as politically incorrect as all hell but I don’t give a shit. We have child proofed, safety helmeted, and over-protected these fucking kids enough. Which as a result has produced a bunch of boring, vanilla, pussy-ass kids.

Kids are going to be curious about many things. Teaching responsibility about the dangers of sex and alcohol is extremely important. Abstinence is a philosophy that is never going to work no matter how much you pray and try to shield kids. Eventually they go to college and I would like to think that parents would want them to have some life experience before they get out on their own.

Sex, is so demonized in our stick up its ass country that, it angers me. There is nothing wrong with sex. We are human beings and as such we have primal urges to Rock the Casbah from time to time. So, to tell teenagers whose hormones are out of control to suppress those urges is ludicrous. Instead of teaching suppression how about we teach them about responsibility.

Open and frank conversations while highly embarrassing between a teen and a parent, hopefully can produce results. Telling kids about condoms and STD’s should not be avoided. There are also emotional issues regarding sex that you don’t learn about until you get older so, it is important to stress them as well. Teaching this shit in school is also a must, because lets be honest, a lot of parents are not going to talk to kids about sex.

They need to get this information somewhere. I always thought, and I now this sounds crazy, school was a place you go to learn things. Learning about sex as dirty and icky as it might seem to the 700 club needs to be taught. Learning about birth control, and the reproduction system is as important and much more practical as learning the quadratic formula.

Also, and this is something that has burned my ass forever, there is a huge double standard between girls and boys when it comes to this issue. Guys screw a bunch of girls they are studs. Girls enjoy sex a little too much and they are whores. To, which I say bullshit. Girls need to be extra careful when it comes to birth control because lets face it, if they aren’t there could be huge ramifications for them. But, if you take those precautions, sex can be a wonderful and beautiful thing.

Demonizing it, only wants to make kids do it more. So, start passing out condoms in high schools, talk about masturbation and let’s get our heads out of our asses and start some serious dialogue about this subject. If one really wants to do something about teen pregnancy and abortion then getting it out in the open is the answer. Pretending it doesn’t exist only makes things worse.

Now, drinking is another matter. I understand the dangers of underage drinking. I understand them because, I drank like a fish when I was underage. Thankfully, I had people who were older around me that taught me about booze. Just to put this all in perspective, the first time I get really drunk in my life was at my Mom and Lou’s wedding. I was fifteen.

So, the first time I got hammered I was around family members who saw it and were able to introduce me to the world of drinking. I learned some lessons that next day as I awoke in my Aunt’s kitchen with the imprint of her linoleum floor on my face. I staggered to the bathroom and voided pretty much everything in my stomach.

That taught me that if you over do things well, there are ramifications. It was pounded into my head that if you are going to drink, never under any circumstance get behind the wheel. Also, if a friend of yours is getting bombed don’t let them drive either. For the most part, my friends and when we drank, were cool about it. We didn’t get behind the wheel or become date rapists.

There is a drinking code that needs to be taught. Sadly, again by teaching abstinence when kids eventually drink they have no idea how to do so responsibly. We have become so over-protective today, that it sickens me. There is no way I would want to be a teenager today. The knee jerk reaction bobble heads have taken over.

I don’t want to live in a society where our teenagers are all virgins and go out to the sock hop and get all wild on Pepsi and milkshakes. Because all that does is lead to a society of a bunch of boring people. Which leads to a very bland general public in which we get a bunch of un-original people. I want these kids to enjoy their teen years. Drinking and screwing are fun. Life experience is a good thing. Getting drunk off your ass playing Quarters should be a right of passage. Losing your virginity to Mary Jane in the back seat of a Pinto is something that should be revered. Sadly, in George Bush’s America we are heading in quite the opposite direction.