The Little Engine That Could

When I was younger schoolboy, I used to stand at the bus stop in the morning freezing my ass off and I would start thinking. I would think, man I can not wait until I am older and I can drive. Then I won’t have to sit outside and wait for a damn bus to come pick me up. Well, I am now older and I don’t wait for a bus anymore. These days I freeze my ass off waiting for a train.

I have a love-hate relationship with Metra. I love the fact that it exists. I really appreciate it on the few days a year that I am forced to drive downtown. I have never been a fan of traffic and driving downtown could test Mother Teresa’s pertinence. I seriously believe driving everyday downtown through Chicago traffic takes years away from your life expectancy. After a morning of tackling the Stevenson expressway I am ready to go on a killing spree.

The problem is that it is way too easy to obtain a drivers license. There are so many bad drivers out there that it is frightening. The worst traffic jams are the ones caused by gapers’ delays. Like if there is an accident up ahead in the road, traffic starts to crawl because every idiot on the road has to rubberneck their head to see the damage. I could care less. I have seen car accidents and I have no perverse need to see another one.

Once, you make it to the loop, you have to take out a second mortgage to pay for a days parking. The cost to park downtown is out of hand. When you couple that with the cost of gas and the wear and tear on your car one is really left with no other choice then to take Metra.

The train offers its own little series of annoyances as well. First off, the southwest service, which is the line that I take each day is one of the worst lines that Metra offers. They have a ton of excuses for why this is but nothing is ever done to actually address the problem. We are always late. My train has one of the worst on time rates. Metra blames this on the freight traffic that we are forced to endure. Since we run on a double track as opposed to a triple we are at the mercy of the freight trains. I must say that there is somewhat of an ego hit to know that people rank below a shipment of knockoff Wrangler pants coming from Indonesia.

Our train is also slow, and by slow I mean fucking slow. One day I want to walk beside the train and see if I can make down here faster. We reach a top speed some mornings of a blinding 10 MPH. When we are late, which sadly is most mornings, there are never late passes being handed out. Thankfully, I have a boss who is from Oak Lawn so he knows all about my train. However, many are not as lucky. The least Metra can do is offer some late passes for their inconvenienced customers.

I remember asking when I was still a novice Metra rider, a conductor who I could complain to about our shitty service. His sarcastic reply was “your congressman.” Metra admits that the issues are there, and that they are working on them. Well, my response always is, until they are fixed we should not have to pay the same amount for a ticket as the other, faster lines do. Sadly, this is a pipe dream and I realize that most of the issues my train line has will be fixed just about the time I am ready to retire.

So, Metra basically has me by the balls, as there is no way that I am going to drive everyday. I could take the Orange line out of Midway but, I really don’t live that close to the airport. Plus the parking there is like $5 bucks a day, so in reality it is more expensive. So, as long as I work downtown, I am stuck with Metra. As bad as it is, I still wouldn’t trade working in the loop for anything. I hated my short tenure working in the burbs and the commute and lack of lunch options. With all options weighed and despite all my bitching, I would not trade working in the city of Chicago for anything.