Petty Complaints

It has been awhile since I got some things off my chest. So, without further adieu, here are some more petty things that bother me.

Parents who blather on about their Kids – Is there anything more boring then having a conversation with an adult who does nothing but talk about their kids. Listen, there is nothing wrong with mentioning your child’s accomplishments. However, don’t forget that you are a person as well. Please stop trying to live your life vicariously through your offspring. Quit showering them with over attention. I know I harp on parents a lot but, someone has too as we keep raising more and more pussy kids.

Snoring on the train – You are sitting on the train trying to relax after a long day of work and then suddenly it sounds as if someone is trying to start a lawn mower. That is because someone oaf has fallen asleep on the train and is snoring his or her ass off. The strange thing about it is that no one will do anything about it. It is like all the other passengers have collectively made an agreement to ignore that someone is pulling a rip cord in the train car. Well, I ask all Metra mouth breathers, if you know you snore try to stay awake on the train because your sleep apnea is annoying the rest of us.

Not bathing before working out – Now, I know that some have the philosophy of, why bathe before working out when all I am going to do is get sweaty again. Well, let me tell you why, because when you sweat and you haven’t bathed you produce an odor that is worse then as my brother would say, garlic, gas and old folks ass. I was on a treadmill the other day and this guy next to me was sweating and literally everyone else in the same zip code was gagging. So, for the benefit of the rest of society try to maintain some semblance of personal grooming.

Women who drive SUV’s and don’t know how to park them – You know the scene. You are in the mall or grocery store parking lot. There is a woman who is barely five feet tall and she is driving a Cadillac Escalade. She can barely see over the steering wheel and she is attempting to park the thing. It takes her like three tries to do so. And then when she leaves she has no idea how big the care is or how much room she has so it takes her a half hour to back out of her spot. You should have to obtain a special drivers license if you are going to drive one of these cars. I’m sorry.

Nancy Grace – I don’t know what I hate more about this woman. Her hillbilly nasally voice. Her, know it all, I’m better then you attitude. Or is it her badgering cross examination that she calls an interview. I can not stand her, even when she is in the right simply because of her ugly personality which can’t help but come across the screen. Go back to chasing ambulances in Tennessee or wherever ass backward place you came from.

Guys with too much chest hair exposed – As my brother would say button it up. Do you really think any man, woman or child really wants to see your matted sweaty chest hair? Buy an undershirt and then put it on and remove the gold horn chain that went out of style in 1978 Really, it is for your own good.

Jim Belushi – On behalf of all Chicagoan’s I have to ask, why is this guy our spokesman? Every time the Bears play on a Monday night, they trot out old Jim. He is about as talented as an organ grinder. I’ve seen actors in community theater with more skill. If not for his brother no one would give this guy a job. We have cool celebrities that are from Chicago, like Jeremy Piven, John Cusack, and Bill Murray. Please stop associating us with this no talent ass clown.

Airports or hotels that don’t offer free WI-FI – This has become a pet peeve of mine. If I am staying at a hotel there is no reason that I should have to pay for internet access. If you are that cheap, then I will choose to stay somewhere else. As for airports, for as bad and illogical as they can be, you would think they would offer something to passengers so, we can kill some time. The funny thing is some airports like Midway, do offer it while others like O’Hare don’t. Just another reason to avoid flying out of O’Hare whenever possible.

Garfield – Really, the comics section in the paper as a whole is brutal. I find Garfield to be its biggest offender. How many stale fat jokes can one person take? Anyone who reads this comic and thinks it is funny needs some serious medical attention, because you are brain dead. Its wit is about as sharp as a spoon. That comic was never funny, but to have sustained the life that it has is beyond me.