Stop, Using These Expressions

I hereby am asking that the following expressions and sayings be officially retired from America’s vocabulary.

Awesome – It was clever in 1982 when Sean Penn said it in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Now, not so much. It has become beyond over-used. Cheese Fries are not awesome. By throwing it out there so much it de-values of the word. Awesome needs to be reserved for truly awesome events. Example, George W. Bush is an awesomely bad President.

You Go Girl – Really any variation of this lame, un-original banality needs to go. It was never clever or hip. If in 2007 you are still using this term, hand over your Drivers License because you are not equipped to operate a large vehicle.

Happy Camper – Oh, how I loathe this one. First off what the fuck does it mean? You know anytime I am camping and it is not raining, then I am happy. Otherwise why go camping if it doesn’t make you happy. It was never funny or original and needs to go far, far away.

Talk to the Hand – This one was funny for two minutes in 1997. If for some reason you are still using this, put down your Crystal Pepsi, shave your mullet and say hello to the new millennium.

Are We Having Fun Yet – Usually said to try and lighten a mood when things are going bad. Well, you know what, asshole No, I am not having fun and your dip-shit comments are not helping.

Money – Should only be used when describing currency. Swingers was a bad movie in so many ways. One of its biggest crimes was that it led to “money” being used by a bunch of frat boy morons. Stop it. I beg you.

“Not” - Okay, Wayne’s World came out in 1992. That was fifteen years ago. I think it is time we retire using the word, “not” after making a statement to try to emote the opposite effect. So, let me officially retire this one. Using this term shows how cool and hip you are and it shows that you can still relate to teenagers. NOT!!!!!!!!

Don’t Go There – Another in a long line in terms that are no longer funny or relevant. So, I won’t go there and I ask the rest of civilization not to as well.

That’s So Gay – You know what is gay, one man sucking another man’s cock. Now, that is gay. When using it as an adjective to describe something you think is lame or disagree with, well then you are not using the term gay correctly. You are just bashing homosexuals.