Ladies, Read On

Men are assholes. Well, really so are a lot of women. But, a big time number of males are drooling slobs that have no idea what a woman wants or any idea how to please her sexually. This does not bother me much anymore since I am no longer on the dating scene. But, back in the day, I used to sit back in amazement watching total jackals have success with women they had no business having success with. In the end I am not sure who I hated more, the brain dead over-testosteroned men or the easily duped clueless women who fell for the drunken fake macho crap.

So, I write this one for the ladies of America. I feel bad for you for having to be stuck with so many adolescent cave men. Here for your reading pleasure are things to look for in a guy. If he has these characteristics, do yourself a favor and walk away. There are better guys out there for you. You don’t have to settle. Also, I want to dispel a popular myth. Women, you can not no matter how much you try, change a man. His boorish personality is already too ingrained for you to do anything about it.

He wears lame, expensive sunglasses as a fashion statement. I know I am really generalizing here, but damn it I can not help it because 99% of the guys I have met who have this look are just plain scum. I don’t get spending more then $2.00 on a pair of sunglasses. I also don’t get wearing them for any other reason besides blocking out the sun. Yet, it seems wherever I look, I see these ass heads wearing their Oakley sunglasses like it is still cool. It wasn’t cool in 1986 and now it is just beyond lame. Ladies, if your man is doing this take it as a sign. Also, if this look is attractive to you, then God help you.

He soups up a shitty car. You know the type. He goes out and takes his shitty Chevy Cavalier and puts a dual exhaust in it. Or he installs some low rider shocks and gets custom rims. To say that is lame is not good enough. It is simple minded, two inch dick, buffoonery at its finest. Even when I was a young man and drove shitty cars, (and trust me I drove a Monarch, an Omni, and a Nova so I know from where I speak) the thought never occurred to me to pimp it out. It is kind of like spit shining a turd. There is only one reason a guy would do this and it is to try to dupe similarly IQ challenged women. Well, trust me these guys don’t know the first thing about women or their anatomy.

He spends more time fixing his hair then you do. This is simply vanity and there is no reason for it. Also, you can guarantee a guy like this is selfish in bed. Meaning it is five thrusts, he’s done and you will lay there unfulfilled. Guys like this, are usually self-centered pricks who are more in love with themselves then they could ever be with a woman. They are conceded, off putting, and know it alls. If you find that desirable, then hook up with them. Just do yourself a favor and buy a good vibrator. You are going to need it.

He constantly makes fun of the gay community around his friends. You know the type. He calls things he doesn’t like gay. He constantly mocks homosexuals and uses any number of the classic bigoted terms. More then likely this guy is a closet case. This is the ultimate defense mechanism. The thinking goes, the more I make fun of it, the more heterosexual I will appear. Kind of like the Reverend Haggart and Larry Craig. Stupid men think this makes them appear more macho when really it makes them appear simpler minded and out of touch. Holding on to some lame out dated, antiquated stereo-types is just plain ignorant. Yet, I see guys like this all the time with women on their arms and it boggles my mind.

He won’t introduce you to his friends or family. There is a reason for this. He is embarrassed of you. He only thinks of you as a piece of ass. If he didn’t he would not have a problem showing you off. Trust me once he gets in your pants, he will dump you in a very dick like fashion.

He listens to Dave Matthews. You see either he actually likes Dave Matthews or he is lying about it. Either way it is a bad character flaw. If a male really actually listens to that lame banality and thinks it is anything other then pure crap, then well their opinion can not be trusted on anything. Conversely, he may say he likes Dave Matthews simply because he thinks that makes him look sensitive in a woman’s eye. When really it makes him look like a fucking pussy.

He thinks he is funny but he is not. Lame, recycled jokes are the norm for the buffoons who think mimicking a bit they heard in 1988 is still relevant and funny. Sadly, these fucktards live in an illusion where Dane Cook and Andrew Dice Clay are funny. These jackals are not funny and they are not clever. If you want to spend your time with un-originality be my guest.