NIck's Bottom 10 of Music

Music is a very personal thing and one of my many faults is taking it way too seriously. I have tried to “lighten up” as I have gotten older. Still, when I hear Living on a Prayer being played at Wrigley Field it is like nails on a chalkboard. I guess to each their own and live and let live. Plus, I am sure there are some songs on my Ipod that many people would dislike. Anyway, here is a list of 10 bands or artists that really get under my skin. You can disagree with me all you want, and I won’t think any less of you if you do. These 10 are in no particular order of sucking.

Bon Jovi – I have been pretty consistent on this one. I wrote a whole blog on my passionate dislike of the ‘Jov here http://10withamop.blogspot.com/2007/12/he-gives-music-bad-name.html#comments It bothers me that here in 2010 this hack is still selling records. If he looked like say, Dee Snyder this no talent crap merchant would have stopped selling records back in 1987. Sadly, the women of the world continue to buy this guys shit. And I will never understand it.

Aerosmith – You know 1970’s era Aerosmith is fine. I have no problem with that. But as soon as the guys started singing about dude’s looking like ladies, I tuned out. It is hard to find a band that has jumped the shark more fantastically then Aerosmith. If there was ever any doubt all one needs to do is watch the duet here with Brittney Spears. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-oJKyHHxKk Is there anything these guys wouldn’t do for the money?

Dave Matthews Band – Try to find a whiter band. Go ahead I dare you. It is beyond me how anyone can listen to this guy whine and like him. For the life of me I don’t get it. I know a lot of people whose musical tastes I respect that like this guy. When I hear him, my blood simply boils. Boring, un-inspired, yawn inducing adult contempo banality is all I hear.

Toby Keith – This man’s music is spawned by Satan. I told the story of the last time I was in Vegas staying at Harrah’s and having to pass this ass clowns restaurant every time I went back to my room. I have nothing against country music. But this guy isn’t playing country. This is the new age US99 bullshit. Anyone that lives in Chicago where we actually have musical choices and chooses to listen to his shit should be ashamed.

The Eagles – My hatred for the Eagles is kind of weird. First off I really like Joe Walsh and the James Gang stuff. And I will own to liking a couple of tracks from the band. But, then there are songs like Tequila Sunrise that simply put new meaning to the word sucking. Maybe it is the fact that they are overplayed. Maybe it is that so many people pray at the altar of these guys. Whatever it is, The Eagles annoy me. I once heard an argument on the radio where the host said the Eagles where the Greatest American Band of all time. I could not disagree with that statement more. Now if we are talking most over rated American band of all time that is a sentiment I can agree with.

Jimmy Buffett – There may be no performer on this list that I despise more than this jackal. Buffett is a Cub fan. In my mind that is his only good characteristic. His music is putrid, unoriginal, boring and really, really white. Buffett has duped his millions of followers. He has and will sue anyone he feels is infringing on his right to sell shitty merchandise and even shitter cheeseburgers. The man is bad enough but his all white army of Parrot Heads are what really drive me nuts. I have to ask is it his music you like or drinking Pina Colada’s? I get the drinking thing, but this scumbag does not have a copyright on it. Trust me you can drink some Malibu Rum while listening to good music. Give it a try, you will thank me later.

James Blunt – Do you like to hear someone who sings like their nuts are in a vice? Do you like your lyrics written by someone that looks like they copied them from an 11 year old girl’s notebook? Do you like your music as unoriginal as a beer fart? Well if you do then by all means go download some James Blunt. This guy’s career is a mystery to me. Maybe it is because I was born with a penis. That must be it because I simply don’t get it.

Phish – It is hard to hate Phish, because they are potheads. And really most potheads are pretty mellow and don’t hurt anyone. Still, Phish puts out really, really bad music. I used to give the Dead a ton of shit simply because I am not a huge fan of jam bands. But, in my later years I found a soft spot in my hear t for them. But Phish, sorry can’t do it, they suck and there is no two ways about it.

Pink Floyd – I would never argue that the members of Pink Floyd aren’t great musicians, because they are. My problem with Pink Floyd is that they put out the most boring, over produced music on earth. Listen, I know I am in the minority with this one, and I don’t care. I listen to Pink Floyd and I am bored out of my mind within 2 minutes. I once was at a bar that had a Pink Floyd cover band playing. Let me tell you if your goal is transform a crowded bar where people are having a good time into a comatose mob that all start yawning in unison put on some Pink Floyd.

The Black Eyed Peas – If you ever need proof that the American buying public has no taste when it comes to music, the success of the Black Eyed Peas should be more than enough. This group is a symptom of a larger problem facing music today. Their songs (if you call what they put out songs) are all electronically, heartless, passionless, noise that while it may be easy to dance to. However, when listed to causes cancer of the ears. I know I sound like a fossil when I say that today’s music is pure shit, but sadly it is. Sure, there are some bands and performers out there with something original to say but, by and large it is bands like these truly awful crap merchants that the drones flock to.