Different Bank, Same Shit

The following is the final in a series of blog's celebrating my 20 years in the work force. Each Thursday, I updated this site with the latest installment.

My current stop on the job market has taken me to Bank One. (Now JP Morgan Chase after the merger.) I started here in May 2003. Which means I will be “celebrating” my two-year anniversary at the bank soon. My job here is the best job I’ve ever had and the worst job I’ve ever had. It offers me security, great benefits, and I make a decent enough wage. However, the red tape and insane processes one must go through make it the worst.

I got my job here by a pure fluke. Chuck is a friend I met in high school. I was a groomsman in his wedding and he was one in mine. I had gotten him a job at Kmart way back in the day so, in theory he owed me. One day I was on the train complaining about Harris and the outsourcing and I asked him if Bank One had any openings. He looked into it for me and told me there was one and to e-mail him my resume. I interviewed at Bank One and after a month of blowing some smoke up some people’s asses, I was offered the job. I would be a Lan Analyst. I would be doing pretty much the same thing as I did at Harris.

Bank One was similar yet different than Harris. Both companies were big banks that stressed money and the bottom line over all else. Both had a ton of red tape to maneuver around if you wanted anything done. Just like at Harris I had six bosses. However, Bank One was a real company. Harris is in Chicago and that is about it. Bank One was everywhere. They think big and are big. Harris thinks small and well, remains small. The best thing I could say about Bank One is that they believe outsourcing is a bad business move. Something I whole heartily agree with.

However, I support an area of the Bank that I hate and most days want to crucify these assholes. Unfortunately, I just take their shit with a smile while all the time despising myself for being such a pussy and not telling these yuppies where to go. But, hey I have a mortgage now so I have to take it.

The reasons I hate my area are many. First of all the entire area is lily white. I support three, minorities in the entire area. Two are secretaries and the other is an intern. The rest of them are as white as Pat Buchanan’s ass. No Latin’s, Asian’s or Indian’s. I would not have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. This sucks because rich, white 30 something’s are the worst creations walking this planet. Spoiled, un-original, and lame are just some of the adjectives I would use to describe these nimrods. After eight hours with these people I am ready for a gun purchase.

I go above and beyond the call but it does not matter. They do not have a life and expect me not to have one either. At some point I realize something is going to give. I just go in day in day out and hope for the best. In this job market, I really have no choice. And, you wonder why I am bitter.

I know a lot of people have it a lot worse than I do so I don’t want to sound as if I am whining. In truth other than occasional Playboy photographer or drug dealer most people hate their jobs. I think I finally realized that your job is just that, a job. It is not your life and it is not ordained that you have to love it. All one really has to do is be able to tolerate it. So, I guess I do that. I rarely take it home with me. Leaving those work problems at the door is a hard thing to do but I am usually pretty good about it. Twenty years ago if you told me that I would be working at Bank One in the Information Technology area I would have told you were nuts. But, here I am.

What the future holds for I am not sure. Part of me wants to have the balls to re-invent myself and try some other career. Another part of me is content where I am at and likes the stability and security I have at Bank One. I have a 401K and am eligible for a pension. The more years I put in, the higher it goes. I also have shares of Bank stock that I will be able to cash in. So, I figure another twenty five to thirty years until I retire. I think I can make it.

As a footnote, as I posted this, I just found out that they were cutting 30% of the IT workforce at the merged bank. Thankfully, I was saved but two good teammates of mine were not so lucky. Life goes on in the corprate hell hole.