A Comedic Genius

To my brother and I my Uncle Dan has always been a great source of comedy. Here are my top 5 Dan Arp moments.

5. While at Arby’s one day we are there and he came up with his classic line. “Here is my five dollars just give me my fill.” Meaning, it does not matter what you sell, burgers, chicken, fish, tacos, beef, hot dogs, whatever it is just give it to me. It does not taste good but, I am hungry and I need to fill my stomach so just give me whatever crap you sell.

4. The classic meat vs. bread argument. I was not there but my brother related this one to me. They all went to the taste of Chicago where they either got this Irish soda bread or a meatloaf. My Uncle Dan claims it was soda bread while his friend Al Taylor claims it was meatloaf. Then, a drunken argument ensues the entire ride home over what they had just eaten. The fact that it was either meat or bread tells you a lot about just how good it must have been.

3. One day my Uncle Dan says to my Dad, “When I get older I am going to invest in hearing aids.” My Dad than replies, “Really, Why?” My Uncle Dan than responds, and seriously I might add, “What?”

2. My aunt Joanne goes out and buys some Neapolitan ice cream. My brother and I are both annoying her with how much proportions of Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry, we want. She than scolds us that we will get equal amounts of all three and be happy with it. My Uncle than goes and grabs a butcher knife and slices the entire slab of vanilla and puts it on his plate. My brother and I still laugh about the site of it.

1. I actually was not present at this one but my cousin Mike’s re-telling of it always keeps me in stitches. My Uncle Dan takes the nieces and nephews to Primo’s a soft serve ice cream parlor in the burbs. My cousin asks him what flavors do they have there. His dry response is, “Chocolate, Vanilla and chocolate and Vanilla.”