Let's Vent Again

I have an endless supply of vents as everyday life leads me to see more and more things that piss me off so here we go again.

Credit Card Abusers- Now, I use my debit card to make purchases all the time. I enjoy the speed and convince of it. However, if the purchase is under $5 bucks, pay with fucking cash. I was in line to buy a bagel and this lady in front of me purchased a muffin. It came to $1.75 and she whipped out a visa. That is just ridicules. I’m sorry have a couple of bucks in your wallet for God’s sake. All of this leads me to my next vent.

Writing Checks for Groceries – There is absolutely no excuse to write a check at the grocery store any more. As a matter of fact they should stop allowing it. Or better yet, open one lane for check writers and every other lane for forward thinking, reasonable people. Make these check writers wait in their own line and stop wasting the rest of societies time.

Lite Beer Commercials – Remember back in the day when Rodney Dangerfield and John Madden would do those Lite beer commercials? They were actually pretty funny. Sure the beer sucked but I would look past that and laugh at the antics of the guys in the ad’s. Well, Lite’s new campaign is touting how great Lite tastes compared to other beer. I don’t know anyone who actually likes the taste of Lite and has a penis. It is swill pure and simple. If you looked up the word hypocrisy in the dictionary there would be a picture of Lite beer.

People Who use the Ass Guards in Public Toilets – There has never in the history of the world been a case where a person has caught anything from a toilet seat. Never. Nada. So, for all these germ-a-phobic, get a fucking life, take a chance once in a while and sit your precious dirty anus on a public toilet seat. How did we ever live past 30 in the 1970’s without ass guards?

Aerosmith – The level I hate this band is beyond nuclear. There are so many things to hate about these posers I cannot list them all. They had a couple of tunes in the 70’s that were mildly listenable. That’s it. They should have stayed with that and went away like all those other shit bands did, but no America you made these guys think they were better than they were. Angel, Don’t want to miss a Thing, Dude looks like a lady, Janie’s got a gun, Love in a elevator, all of that crap is a fucking disgrace. It’s shit “music.” Get the fuck off the stage already and give someone else a chance. Stephen Tyler needs to just go far, far away. Listen you stole your whole act from Mick Jager. You are a fraud and a waste of sperm. You have added nothing to society. I beg you for the good of the land, shut up, retire and collect your royalty checks in peace and stop inflicting society with your nonsense.

People who go to Psychics – I hate to ruin the illusion but it is all bullshit. If you actually believe this nonsense than I have some land in the Everglades to sell you. For the life of me I cannot understand why anyone would spend hard earned money, to talk to a dead relative or to have their future told to them. They are selling snake oil and duping the easily duped. You want to ensure your future, go out get a job, work your ass off and stop giving money to charlatans who are robbing you blind.

People who Don’t Clean Up After Themselves – You go to your local Wendy’s or God help you, Starbuck’s and you go to find a table to sit down at. You see one with half eaten food, dirty napkins and a sweating coca-cola. It seems some moron has eaten his or her meal and left the garbage out to rot on the table. It is simple courtesy and politeness to clean up after your self. Not throwing away your own trash after eating is the utmost in rude and selfish behavior. By doing so, you are letting the rest of the establishment smell your rotting food and you are making the fifteen year old who earns minimum wage to clean up after your nasty ass. Maybe these dolts are used to having their mommies pick up after them but whatever the excuse is it is not good enough for me.

People Who Use Their Cell Phones As Fashion Accessories – Anyone who gets a personalized phone case or who walks around feeling self-important with their cell phone attached to their belt buckle needs to be shot. Listen, you pathetic single IQ dolt, everybody has a cell phone. No one needs to see you American Flag cell phone cover. By proudly displaying it you are letting everyone know just how big of a loser you really are. For that matter, anyone who plays music instead of just letting the phone ring is also lame. Nothing is more grating than hearing a bad Casio knockoff ring tone to “Play That Funky Music.” Trust me anyone who does that indeed has no funk but is definitely white.

Parrot Heads – There is no one more undeserving of praise than Jimmy Buffet. He is the lamest, whitest, sappiest, artist working. These easily duped morons who worship at his billionaire alter are the worst. Is music sucks, his margaritas are shit, and his burger in paradise is over-priced dog food. Yes, sitting out at a beach drinking Pina Colata’s is great, however his music does not have a patent on the lifestyle. The guy is a complete dick who sues anyone who tries to sample his music. And by the way you’re not hip or young or different if you follow this guy. You are just a suburban white yuppie.