It Has Been Too Long

Mike Ditka – Is there anyone who has gotten more mileage over one accomplishment in their life? OK, Ditka was the coach of the 85 Bears, but spare me the sainthood. Buddy Ryan was as big, if not bigger reason why they won. The 85 Bears won because of that defense. Ryan, controlled the D and Ditka was in charge of the offense. As soon as Ryan left the team was never the same. Ditka then went on to name Doug Flutie the starting QB in the 86 playoffs which he choked away. He also embraced the strike replacement Bears and alienated many of his players. Ditka was over-rated and Bears nation needs to stop kissing his ass.

The Taxpayer Argument – Everyone pays taxes. From the lowly immigrant buying a soda to Bill Gates. Just because you pay taxes does not place you in some unique position where your beliefs are the only ones that matter. Paying taxes is something everyone does and no one person deserves any special treatment no matter how much they pay. That is not how capitalism works.

Drivers Who Can’t Read – You will be in the right turn only lane. You know this because you passed second grade and can clearly read the sign posted that says “right turn only.” Still, some dip-shit hillbilly in front of you decides that they need to make a left from that lane. So, they figure lets inconvenience all the cars behind me because my time is more important then the fifty drivers behind my stupid ass. Retaining a drivers license should be a harder then it is.

Shaving – I just find the whole process annoying. In the morning all I want to do is clean the four basic areas and get out of the shower. However, on those shaving days the process takes twice as long. I wouldn’t mind if they would ever come out with an electric shaver that gives you a decent shave. Sadly, every time I shave with an electric shaver, I have a five o’clock shadow an hour after using it.

One Someone asks, Are We Having Fun Yet – You know what, no I am not having fun asshole. And you know by annoying me with your inane blather, I am even more pissed then I was to begin with. Next time just leave me alone and stop trying to “cheer” me up with your lame as attempt at humor. Go back to watching your Carrot Top video and leave me alone.

Someone Shoving a Video Camera in Your Face – Nothing like putting someone on the spot. Let’s say you are at a wedding or birthday party. Now, it is bad enough that you are there, but you are getting by eating some rubber chicken and listening to Celebration. Then all of the sudden some yahoo sticks a video camera in your face and wants you to say a few words to the person or persons of the hour. I have nothing to say and usually at these events I have had a couple of cocktails and my witty banter is nothing more then drunk talk which I don’t need to be captured for all times sake on video. Just let me get drunk and leave me in peace.

Sending Food Back at a Restaurant – I know getting food that you don’t want or was not what you ordered, sucks. However, do yourself a favor and just eat it, and make a mental note to never go back to the restaurant. Because, if you send food back there is a good chance you will be eating something more then you bargained for, like snot.

Help Lines in India – I don’t want to come off as racist because that is not my point in this tirade. A lot of companies have off-shored their help lines to India to save money because you can pay someone there a fraction of what you pay an American worker. You also don’t have to pay benefits in India. Still, America is losing jobs to this practice. So, know when I call a help line and it is picked up in India I ask to be transferred to someone in the Untied States. If every one did this, the practice would have to be stopped.

Road Construction – I realize complaining about road construction is pointless as it is never is going to end. Still, I understand if a road needs to be widened or something like that. My complaint is when you have an entire five mile radius blocked off and you see a crew of five guys working on one patch of concrete the size of a postage stamp. Doesn’t it make more sense to block off that small section as opposed to rendering the rest of the road un-useable, when there is no one working on it anyway?