Nick's City Guide

Here are five cities that I really liked and five cities that I hated during my travels be it vacation or what not.

Top Five

1. Las Vegas, Nevada – OK, I know it is a cliché but damn it I love Vegas. If ever there was a modern day Sodom, this is it. It has every vice known to man. Sure, I go there for the gambling and yes, I realize that I am throwing my money away. However, it is fun. I have made three trips to the desert and I broke even twice and I will take those odds. Like I have said, if you can’t have fun in Vegas, you aren’t trying.

2. New York, New York – This city just kicked my ass. The rumors are true this city simply doesn’t stop. Every bar is open until 4 AM and you don’t need a car to get to any of them. The best public transportation system of any city I’ve ever visited. If I ever had to move out of Chicago, I think I could make a go of it in New York.

3. San Francisco, California – It is always 50-60 degrees out which is just perfect for me. Not to hot, not to cold. One of the biggest liberal cities in the United States which fits right in with my beliefs. A ton to do and everything in the city limits is within walking distance if you are willing to battle the hills.

4. New Orleans, Louisiana – A town I visited before the hurricane. I had a blast. Sure it has it its seedy side but stay in the French Quarter and you will be fine. A town you get drunk in as soon as your plane lands. Great food, loose women and potent drinks, what more could a man ask for.

5. Cleveland, Ohio – Despite all of the Cleveland jokes, it really is a nice town. A fun downtown area that offers a lot of good restaurants and bars. It is the most liberal city in Ohio which helps. The rock and roll hall of fame is a bit of a disappointment, but there are a lot of other cool things you can check out in Northern Ohio.

Bottom Five

1. Cincinnati, Ohio – Southern Ohio is a pit. A right wing, ass backwards town with no culture and no identity. For as much as I love Cleveland, that is how much I hate Cincinnati. Instead of sending me to hell, Lucifer is going to banish me to Cincinnati for all of my misdeeds.

2. Albuquerque, New Mexico – Just a boring town. Is stuck in the middle of a desert and offers nothing except windstorms and Applebee’s. Mobile and stucco homes abound this sleepy small town. Another place I couldn’t get out of fast enough.

3. Detroit, Michigan – It’s funny I like a lot of parts of this state but as for the city of Detroit itself, it is a complete hellhole. If you find yourself within the city limits run don’t walk and get the hell out of there. Again all cities have their bad parts but it seems Detroit has more then most. Not hard to dis-like a town that popularized Hell’s Night.

4. Omaha, Nebraska – I spent a week there one night. Fortunately, I have only had to visit this town once in my lifetime and I really don’t ever wish to go back. As red of a state as you can get, Nebraska is about as exciting as a can of peas. A lot of cow pastures and Stuckey's, Omaha is a town that I would like to avoid for as long as possible.

5. Indianapolis, Indiana – You know, there are some parts of Indy that aren’t bad, it’s just that there aren’t enough of them. A town that is pretty hillbilliyish and its biggest attraction is an auto race. Bad food, ugly women, missing teeth, Indianapolis has it all.