The Moraine Years

I often reflect back on a period of time that I consider to be the best years of my life and I usually remember the era between 1989-1991. During that two year span I had a ton of fun. The biggest question wasn’t, is there a party tonight, it was which one are we going to go to. I was working at Kmart and really other then car insurance didn’t have any bills. One major factor in my happiness at the time was my enrollment in the higher learning institution known as Moraine Valley.

Moraine Valley was for slackers and I fit in nicely with that moniker. When I graduated high school I had no idea what the hell I wanted to do. In high school I had other priorities so, I put in the minimal effort to get by and graduated with no chance of getting into any good college. So, my options were limited to Moraine or a trade school. At first I didn’t really like the place. I perceived it to be for losers or rich kids who didn’t want to have to work.

It wasn’t until my second semester there that I started to warm to the place. My friend Chuck started out at Devry and didn’t like it so he moved on to Moraine. Each day Chuck and I would eat our lunch at the McDonalds that was on campus. There in the student center were a couple of pool tables. I played many a game of eight ball and started having some fun there. However, it wasn’t until the next year that I really started enjoying myself.

First off, a lot of my friends from Kmart starting hitting Moraine. Plus, my brother and his crew were there. We all had a break in our schedules and we had a table where everyone met up at in the McDonalds. We would usually bullshit about important topics like music or movies and yucked it up.

On top of all that we knew how to work the system. I knew so many people at Moraine, that I had a line on what teachers to take and which ones to avoid and there were many of them that were memorable, such as,

Mr. Posner, Business Law. He was a short older man who would give you the questions and answers to each test. All you had to do was study the answers go to the testing center and regurgitate the answers. I called his classes the GPA booster.

Mrs. Frugenthal, Psychology. Her husband also taught there and I think she is still at Moraine. She ran a fun class and graded on a severely sliding curve.

Mr. Boadway, Sociology. An older gentleman with a very dry and hidden sense of humor. A great story-teller and a genuinely nice man, you never had to buy the book for his class as all he did was lecture.

Mr. Sothard, English. – Southard was just a great guy. I took his technical writing class and to this day I am thankful I did. I remember having to write a paper on a crescent wrench. All he asked was you turn in your papers. We had class once a month. It was great.

Mr. Hendron, Humanities. Hendron allowed you to tape his class and his tests were open book. I mean you couldn’t get any easier. Hendron was a little light in the loafers, if you catch my drift but was another great story teller and he sure loved his gladiator movies.

Mr. Kolsiniak, Economics. Another teacher who loved the grading curve. He took everything and equated it to beer. If you failed his class you simply weren’t even trying.

Mr. Mathwig, Environmental Science. I hated this subject and the easiest way to get that science credit at Moraine was to take environmental science. Mathwig was an Alex Trabeck look alike who had a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I remember him taking us on a field trip to the little red school house and he was pointing out birds like they were colors in a rainbow. He would stand back and point with his binoculars, “there is a red crested south American dove.” He was as stitch.

On top of all the teachers I had there, I have so many great stories from my time at Moraine. Like the time I sold out my brother. It was the first day of class and my brother, myself and Chuck all had this computer science class. The classroom was full and there were no seats anywhere to be found.

Well, the first day of class you needed your ID to prove you were who you said you were. I was sitting at a table with my brother on one side and Chuck on the other. Vince forgot his ID in his car and had to get it in the middle of class. As my brother was in transit to his car in walked in this real looker. She had dark hair and was an eighteen year old knockout. As soon as she walked in, she started looking for an open chair in the crowded classroom. Chuck and I then stood up and feverishly started pointing to my brother’s vacated seat like we were carnival barkers. She sat down and when my brother returned he was left to I believe stand for the remainder of the class. (By the way Chuck and I had here in another class as well. After having us in two classes she decided to I beleive quit school, as we never sqw her afther the first week, rahter then be continually hit on for an entire sememster.)

Another story took place in the same class. The teacher was this old military prick named Mr. Kolasar. He was humorless and had the people skills of a whale. He was out and we had a substitute who was equally as humorless. Well, Chuck had a thing for this Greek girl who sat in front of him and he was always talking to her. Well, this substitute got it in his head that it was Vince not Chuck talking to this girl. This caused the substitute to give the entire lecture basically to my brother. He kept eye contact with him the entire time and was staring him down like Mr. T starred down Stallone in Rocky III.

Eventually, the class had a break and we headed out to the lounge to stretch our legs. So of course we start giving my brother shit about the teacher as we took it eye-fucking him. We were studying the cobal language at the time and Chuck makes a joke to my brother to the effect of “maybe he wanted your co-balls.,” just as the teacher was directly standing in back of him. The rest of the class was a ton of fun with that guy.

I have a million other stories I could tell about my time there, but I don’t want to turn this into a book. If I wasn’t working at Kmart I would head to the Moraine library every night to do homework or hit on this hot Indian girl that was always there. When I went away to DePaul it wasn’t the same. It is sad really that I have so many great stories about my Junior college days and so few during my DePaul days. But, I wouldn’t trade that time or those events for anything.