AIrport Madness

One of the challenges about my new job is the travel. I really don’t travel all that much but I do have to from time to time and it can be trying. Every hack comedian has a bit about airline travel so I will spare you the lame attempts at that. You see my problem is with airport security.

I am the only person left with half a brain? You don’t let any liquids on carryon luggage and then you go and serve liquids on the plane. So, if a terrorist was going to use a liquid bomb, all he has to do is order some water from the stewardess. Also, isn’t there running water in the bathroom? I mean are we this fucking stupid or is it just me.

This all goes back to what I have been saying all along. It is the illusion of safety that we crave. Somehow the brain dead among us think that by confiscating my tube of Colgate they are safer in the air. Which is about is illogical of a conclusion as one could reach. I have news for everyone. If they want to strike they are going to. I applaud all the inelegance agencies here and in England for preventing the attack that they were plotting a couple of weeks ago. That is the only way we are going to stop terrorist attacks. Through diligent investigate and cooperation via all the intelligence agencies throughout the globe. Banning Pert on my carry on bag isn’t doing anything other then inconveniencing the general public.

It reminds me of the Anthrax scare a while back. They told everyone to go out and buy duct tape and plastic sheeting and cover their windows with it. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I remember going to Menard’s during the scare and noticing they were out of plastic sheeting. And you wonder why we keep electing Republican’s. You see they know that it is in their better interest to keep America stupid and feeling safe. I mean how else can you explain this lunacy?

Airport security is a joke. Just to prove this as I was flying back from Minnesota I snuck a tube of chapstick and deodorant onto my carryon bag. Both of those items were banned. And my bag passed right on through security. There is no way they are going to be able to stop every bottle of shampoo or mouthwash. All of this nonsense has lead to even longer security lines then ever. But all I hear from people is that it is worth the inconvenience as long as we are safe. Do you see how the mass brain washing works?

If I was a conspiracy nut I would believe Procter and Gamble was behind all of this so that we would buy more of their products. The sad part of all of this is that as much as we like to think we are safer, we aren’t. All that needless war in Iraq has done is create more people who hate us. No matter what the spin doctors tell you, about how we dethroned an evil dictator the truth is that we have pissed off a whole bunch of Muslims by sticking our beak in where it didn’t belong. But, as long as they stop me from boarding a plane with a bottle of Evian everything will be OK. What utter foolishness.