Back to Venting

I don’t want people to think I went all soft and all so here is another list of bitches.

Tanning Salons – I just don’t get the need to brown oneself. Are you that superficial that you need to contaminate yourself with hazardous tanning lights? I mean it is worse then smoking for God’s sake. Still, if you must have a tan, why not, oh I don’t know sit in the fucking sun you nitwits.

Housing Sub-Divisions – One of my biggest bitches of suburban America is the sprawling sameness of Sub-divisions. Each house looks the same and they all have that artificial feel to them. What really sucks is when you are in one and they pass stupid rules like you can’t put up flag pole or whatever. If I am paying a mortgage I am going to make it look however I want without some idiotic sub division board telling me what I can and can not do.

Kids Days – It seems like everywhere I go, some place is having a kids day. Isn’t it bad enough that we have tailored our society to these attention magnets? Now we have to give them their own special days at every restaurant or movie we go to. For God’s sake let them grow up already. Stop making them feel special. Because all that does is really fuck them up when they get older and realize they are no better then anyone else.

Dane Cook – Is it me or is this guy seriously overrated. I know the kids love him and all but he is a douche bag if you ask me. No one thinks more of himself then this guy. Let me be the first to say, dude you are not doing anything that hasn’t been done before. You are not doing anything original or different. You are young and have tapped into a certain demographic. They will outgrow you.

The Wave – Is there anything more robotic or mass hypnotizing then the wave. I will never understand the appeal of this thing. I hate it, just like I hate the applause o’meter. Sit down and watch the game you fucking brain dead yuppies.

Restricted Napkin Distribution – This is the ultimate sign in cheapness. You go to a subway or another fast-food establishment and they hand you like one napkin as opposed to leaving the dispenser out there so you can grab as many as you feel necessary. I hate this as I like to use multiple napkins. So, when I ask for extras, I am looked at like I just asked for an organ. Don’t be so frugal, I don’t think a .001 cent napkin is going to be the cause of your business to fail.

Bill Parcels – This guy is a dick. He has a stand-offish, he knows better attitude that just gets under my skin. OK, he won two superbowls like fifteen years ago, but what has this guy done lately. He has become the crotchety old man who is humorless and is from the old school football, jock mentality which I despise. Retire already, and this time stay retired.

Stop Walkers – You are in a mall or on the sidewalk and walking along behind someone, when suddenly they will stop and leave you no room to pass, oblivious to your being right behind them. It is like they are so wrapped up in their own shit that they completely forget that there are other people on this planet and some of them might need to get past them and keep moving. Here is an idea, if you are walking and someone is behind you, get the fuck out of there way before you come to a complete stop.

Shoe Shopping – As a man is there anything on God’s green earth that is worse then shopping for shoes? I would rather go to Joliet and get it up the out-hole from Hulk Hogan while he is wearing a sandpaper condom then to have to go to the mall and buy shoes. I don’t know if it is the having to try them on and making sure they fit and all the bullshit. I hate buying and trying on shoes. This is why I wear them until they are literally falling apart at the seams. To put it mildly I hate going shoe shopping.