Some times you will come face to face with reality and have to admit to yourself that you are getting old. I still like to think of myself as a young person. I like to do a lot of the same things I did when I was in my early twenties. Sure, I don’t hang out with the guys as much as I used to, or consume as much mind altering substances as I once did. Still, on occasion and as much as my wife permits me I do from time to time exhibit behaviors from when I was a young lad.
Well, my wife and I went to check out Moraine Valley the other day when I was off from work for a personal day. So, I hit the campus as classes were in full effect. All I can say is I haven’t ever felt as old as I did walking around the campus. Much had changed since I was a fresh faced teenager and I was gracing the halls of this higher institution. When I went there the classrooms did not have doors. The floors were carpeted and they tried to make the classrooms not feel like classrooms. Now everything is tiled and it looks much more like a real school.
The outside is the same. I was walking in the outdoor area and it was almost like I was transported to 1989. I was with my wife but for a moment I forgot that and was back to being that 19 year old horn dog of a boy who would try to make eye contact with every cute girl who showed even the slightest interest. Then it hit me. Not only am I married to a wonderful lady, but even if I wasn’t these girls are not looking for my fifteen pound over-weight late thirties ass to be the answer to their prayers.
I looked around and realized how different these kids are from the ones that I went to school with here. Every generation is different from the one that preceded it. Just like mine was trying to distance itself as much as possible from the baby boomers, this one is trying to be as different as it can from mine. They all are text messaging their friends and talking about some new song they downloaded on their i-pods. To them a CD is as outdated as LP’s were in my day.
As I walked around hand in hand with my wife, for a brief moment I felt a little sad at having realized that my youth is gone. Those days at Moraine were eons ago and I will never get them back. I am no longer a young college student who had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. With that said it is not all bad.
I lucked out and married above my looks and talent. I have a nice house and landed on my feet career wise. I still have a large group of loyal and lifelong friends that I can always count on. When you look at it I really don’t have much to bitch about. Still, there is a part of me, and I guess most people feel this way, that longs for those times when the world was in front of me. When I had no bills other then car insurance. A time when all I ate was junk food and I didn’t gain an ounce. I could drink till 2 in the morning and my body would recover by the next morning. At the time I didn’t think about any of that because I was an idiotic teenager who thought I had all the answers when in reality I didn’t know shit about shit.
So, now as I look in the mirror someone who is older and wiser looks back. Now when I get together with my friends it takes checking a calendar weeks in advance and making sure no one has anything else going on. I guess most adults have these same issues and I sound about as old as Methuselah when I complain about this. In reality I am only thirty seven and I look to the future and it looks pretty damn bright to me. Therefore, I am going to try as best as I can to embrace the future and my impending mid-life crisis. So if you so me after I go out a buy a 78 Camaro please don’t laugh at me. Have a heart and I will promise to try and make my fourth decade on this earth as pleasant as I can for myself and those around me.
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