An Anniversary

On June 30^th it will mark my 15^th anniversary of when I sold my soul to the Devil and got a real job in corporate America. There are few days and events that have altered my life more then the day my Step-Dad’s brother Len called me and told me about a job opening up at his company IRI.

At the time I was working at Kmart and had resigned myself to another summer working in the Pharmacy and in Health and Beauty Aids restocking FDS and filling Monistat prescriptions. Then I got that eventful call. Len told me to come on down as soon as possible and interview for the opening. At that point I was not really in to computers and the only Windows I knew where the ones that I used to see out of my house. Which seemed like it would be a problem as the job I was interviewing for was as a PC Installer.

Len assured me the job was very entry level (which it sure was) and to come and meet the guy who was doing the hiring. So, I grabbed the next train downtown and walked over to the corner and Randolph and Clinton and met my destiny. I was ushered into the building by Len who sat me down with the guy who would be my boss, Bob. Bob was old, skinny, and a drunk. Basically his questions were more about making sure I would be there everyday and stuff like that. There was not one technical question. He showed me the numerous boxes of computers that they needed to get out. Basically he told me my job would be to setup these machines as there was a company directive to get a pc on every desk.

Think about that. Nowadays it is assumed every desk has a pc on it. Back in 1992 most of the company was still using dumb terminals. Which were basically mainframe workstations that were connecting using x.25 lines. There was no e-mail, no internet and if you wanted to play solitaire you needed to get a deck of cards.

After getting the run through with Bob, he introduced me to his and Len’s boss Eric. Eric was a strange man. He was nice enough, but a bit of an odd guy. His interview basically consisted of him asking me about myself. It was a bullshit session. I told him what he wanted to hear and I was off to one last interview with HR.

There I met a humorless woman named Diane. She was in her twenties but dressed and acted like she was fifty. I remember thinking how could a woman this young be this bitter? She proceeded to grill me about my Kmart years and asked me questions about stocking shelves. Basically, I left her office feeling like she had to justify her lot in life by being a complete bitch to everyone she came in contact with.

After leaving there, I was again off to see Bob. He offered me the job right on the spot. I accepted and he told me I could start that Monday, which was June 30^th 1992. I left the building and as I was walking back to the train, I knew this was something big. I knew that life as I knew it was about to change in a big, bad way.

I wound up working at IRI for just short of five years. I learned a whole hell of a lot in my time there. After two weeks of working there, I got my friend Wally a job doing the same thing. A couple of years later, I got Dell in as well. The he got Chuck a job. IRI was like a training ground for all of us. I could go on and nuke the place as there where a lot of things for me to bitch about. But, in reality when I look back, it is hard to view my time there with any hard feelings. I learned how to become a corporate employee at IRI. It was the first job I had where I didn’t have to punch a clock. It was my first “real” job. It started my love affair with downtown. In the last 15 years since that day, I have worked in the Loop for all but one long year where I was stuck in the Burbs.

So, as I look back and remember that fateful call, I realize that I was pretty lucky. I have had some good jobs since then, (My current, Harris Bank) and some shit ones (Chase, Monsanto, and Van Kampen) but I would not have gotten any of them without my time at IRI. I was right, my life has never been the same since that day. I guess we all have to grow up and that was the call that signaled my introduction to adulthood.