2008 GOP Candidates

Okay, I gave my half assed two second capsules of the candidates from my party. They say you should know your enemy so in that light, I give you my ten second takes on the players for the 2008 GOP nomination.

Sam Brownback Senator from Kansas – In a word, a douchebag. Or is that two words? He is a Christian zealot who would love it, if things were like they were back in his idolized 1950’s. Gay’s were shamed and in the closets. Women could not have abortions and blacks knew their place. Also does not believe in Evolution. Which is truly scary. Other then that he tows the line with most of the other Republican causes and thank god does not look like he has much of a chance of getting the nomination. Of course if he did he would be in my opinion pretty easy to beat.

Rudi Giuliani, former Mayor of New York City – Rudi has a lot going for him. Big time name recognition, as a one time mayor of a big city. Then of course are his perceived actions during the aftermath of 9/11. I won’t get into that (trust me most of his post 9/11 accomplishments are bogus.) He is pretty popular and would be very tough to beat. However, he is pretty liberal for a Republican on a lot of social issues. His personal life has some skeletons and might have a hard time getting the vote from the Christian wing of the GOP. I hope he doesn’t get the nomination because I really think he would be the toughest of the candidates to beat in November.

Mike Huckabee former governor of Arkansas – Another GOP candidate who does not believe in Evolution. Also, is very pro-life and does not even support civil unions for gays. Also, is still supporting Bush in Iraq which is mind boggling. He is gaining in popularity so, he has a shot at this thing. Also being from the south would make him a viable candidate. Still, with his radical religious views, I think he would be beatable in a general election.

Duncan Hunter Congressman from California – Who is Duncan Hunter? Hunter is a congressman from California, who is an extreme long shot. He has zero name recognition and outside of California not many people have ever heard of him. He is still supporting the War in Iraq and has voted along the Republican line at about a 90% clip. He is a big right to lifer and supports building a fence between Mexico and the US. Heard enough, let’s move on.

John McCain Senator from Arizona – I have a lot of respect for McCain for the service that he did for our country. There is no way you can mock or discount that. But when it comes to the issues, I rarely agree with him. Still from time to time he will not vote along party lines but by and large he is another pro-life, anti-gay Republican. Also, his age will come into question at some point. If he were elected he would be seventy two. That is pretty damn old to start serving your first term in the White House.

Ron Paul Congressman from Texas – Paul is more of a Libertarian then a Republican and is looked at as a maverick among the right. He strongly supports the small government theory. But, he also was against the war in Iraq from the beginning. He is a bit of a wild card and has gained a lot of support on the internet. Still he is a long shot and not really someone we need to worry about.

Mitt Romney former Governor of Massachusetts – First off, he is a Mormon. If there is a religion more whacko then Christianity it is Mormon. He is also a bit of a flip flopper depending on where he is speaking. He has come out as pro life. Then when it suited him in the liberal Massachusetts he stated he supports a woman’s right to choose. He is very anti-gay as he opposes gay marriage and civil unions. He is also still all for the war in Iraq. As of now, last poll I looked at he was leading. To me he is beatable, but I must admit this guy has some charm and may be able to win over Joe Six Pack.

Tom Tancredo Congressman from Colorado – Just a complete Dickhead. Thank God he is polling at about 1% so, he is not a threat. He is a big time, Anti-Immigration bigot. Not only is he against Illegal immigration he is against legal immigration as well. He is also a huge right to lifer, a big war monger and a basically a jag off. He is not only a bigot but a draft dodging hypocrite. If you don’t know the guy’s name, that is a good thing, trust me. The guy is a penis.

Fred Thompson Former Senator from Tennessee – An actor who is a politician in his spare time. Thompson, for a Republican is not that offensive. He is pro-choice and holds some other liberal viewpoints. He is married to a much younger woman and that may actually hurt him within the GOP ranks. He is a wildcard in the whole thing and even though he just entered the race is currently running third in the polls. He has name recognition and people know him, so he would be a tough candidate to beat.