Some Open Letters

To people who ride the escalators in Union Station,
Do you know why they put up signs? Because you are meant to read them. Then if they convey messages for proper etiquette you should obey them if you consider yourself a thoughtful member of society. Just in case you can’t read, the signs in by the escalators in Union Station say stand to the right and walk to the left.

That means if you are a lazy fat ass and don’t feel the need to use your legs you can do so on the right side of the escalator. If you are on the left you should be walking. Sadly, nearly every morning I witness some moron who will stand on the left while a line of people roll their eyes as they just stand there oblivious to the nuisance they are causing.

Are you so wrapped in your own mundane bullshit that you don’t notice the inconvenience you are causing. One person not obeying the rules has a ripple effect and causes the whole escalator to jam up. No one is saying you can’t stand there. Just do so on the right and let the rest of us pass you on the left. Thank You.

To Rod Blagojevich,
If you are done patting yourself on the back for sneaking that senior citizen free ride waver into a bill that needed to be passed to save the CTA, I was wondering if you had a minute.

You see Rod, I live in Illinois and lived here when the state was controlled by the Republican Party for decades. From Jim Thompson to George Ryan the GOP controlled the Governors mansion for thirty years, which was most of my life. Then at long last we elected a Democrat Governor, in you. At the time I was hopeful you would change things for the better. Sadly you have let us all down.

All you have done in the six years you have held office is show what a horse’s ass you really are. You could fuck up a one car parade, Rod. You are a politician first and everything you do you do with an ulterior motive. You say you want to help people but all you do is find ways to have a convenient photo op all the while, our state continues to plunge deeper and deeper in debt.

You have done some good things, like providing health insurance for anyone in the state who can not afford it. But, you have also through your huge ego been unable to work with the state legislature on anything. Because of this, anytime we the people need Springfield to help us, you and Mr. Madigan get in a pissing contest. It is costing Illinois money and jobs. Get the fuck over it already and start delivering on your campaign promises or you will have ruined my party in Springfield. Thank You.

To anyone who was alive in the 1970’s,
I need some help. I have to ask how any one lived past the age of twenty five back then. I mean you didn’t have organic foods. Second hand smoke was everywhere and there were no seat belt laws. You even let your kids actually trick or treat. How did anyone get out alive?

To the CEO of any health Insurance company,
How the fuck do you sleep at night?

To the major studio’s in Hollywood,
Please settle this strike with the WGA soon. I can not take any more American Gladiators or Guinness Book of Records shows. All the writers are asking for is a little scratch for the episodes you guys sell on the internet. Is it that much to ask that they get a residual for something they fucking wrote and without which you would not have a show to sell?