I don't like Tuesday's

The popular myth is that Monday is the worst workday of the week. I am here to tell you that while Monday’s are about as fun as a trip to your local DMV they are no match for Tuesdays. Tuesdays make Monday’s look like a church carnival by comparison.

Tuesday does not have any built in excuses. On Monday if you fuck up you can always say well, “It’s a Monday.” Which basically means what did you expect dipshit, I am working with the hangover of my weekend haze. Please let my brain try to clear out any barley and hops residue and do a proper re-boot before you ask me anything work related. Plus since everyone else is in that Monday mode and some take it off to make it a three-day weekend, it tends to be a slower day.

Tuesday does not have any of that. Nothing good ever happens on Tuesday’s. This is why we elect officials on Tuesdays. Since we are used to getting screwed why change things. That second day of the week is usually the busiest. Most people have waken up and it is still early enough in the week where you can’t see the joy of Friday.

Wednesday is that middle day and you can always say to yourself as you dredge along, “Well, it’s hump day”. Just get through it and we are half way home. On Thursday things start looking good. You can smell the weekend and you put the Pabst on ice in anticipation. Once Friday finally arrives, you and most of your co-workers have already mentally cheeked out. Your mind is filled with weekend plans and can’t be interrupted with work nonsense. Around 2ish on a Friday’s the office is usually dead and you can easily downshift into weekend mode.

All of this helps in making Tuesday the worst day of the week. I’ve been in the corporate hellhole for over ten years now. If there is one thing I’ve learned in that time it’s that if you are going to call in or miss a day miss Tuesday. Otherwise, there is no escape and you are about to have as much fun as an anal probe. It was rumored we were going to go to a four, ten hour day schedule, with each team member getting a week day of their choosing off. While discussing it everyone was saying either Monday or Friday is when they want as their day off. A co-worker asked me and I did not hesitate. I said Tuesday and he looked at me like I was nuts. He just didn’t see my logic as I tried to explain.

So, as today is Monday and it is predictably slow, I wait. I know tomorrow at this time I will have ten voice mails and all of them urgent. This is where I have a small disagreement with Karen Carpenter, while rainy days suck Tuesday’s always get me down.