Tis the Season
I originally wrote the following tirade about Christmas in 1999 for a previous website. Five years later my feelings on the subject have not changed much. Please enjoy.
Really does anyone like Christmas? I mean it is a lot of work and for what? First of all it begins earlier every damn year. I saw trees up in a department store in late August this year. It was still summer for Christ’s sake! Next, people are under the false impression that it brings out the best in people. Work in retail for one Xmas and you will see otherwise.
I remember my first retail Christmas at K Mart. We had ran a sale ad for Christmas napkins. You know the kind with trees and elves on them. The kind no hetro man would ever buy. In typical K Mart fashion we ordered a whole one case of them. Sales started on Sunday and by about noon on that Sunday we were out. Well, a lovely woman who needed a fresh shave asked me if we had any. After I explained that we were out and that she could get a rain check (figuring it was the price not the lame Christmas design that she wanted) she proceeded to curse me out saying “What the hell good is that going to do me.” while walking out of the department knocking down a display case of Christmas Styrofoam plates. This is one of the many run-ins I had during the season. I will not even attempt to relay any of the Toys department horrors I witnessed. While there were always bad customers, it seemed that Christmas brought out the worst in everyone. And really do you blame anyone. Anybody who says they like the shopping needs serious help. People in the stores are rude, in their own world and careless. Most of the twelve year olds the stores have employed care more about what Jessica Simpson is wearing then your needs as a consumer. This is why I wait until Dec. 23rd to do my shopping. I know it is going to be bad but my point is why subject yourself to weeks of this? Get it done in one day and write that day off. I know ahead of time that I will need to get on a bus to get from where I parked my car to the entrance of the mall. I know I will have to wait in a 20-minute line at Bath and Body Works for a gift certificate and a scented candle.
Then there is the holiday itself. Christmas Eve is one thing. It’s nice seeing the family and exchanging gifts, but lets face it once that is done the next day is damn boring. For one, everything is closed. Every form of entertainment is gone (except for the movie theater.) Last Christmas I got the family stuff out of the way by like 3:00 figuring I had the rest of my day off to do something. There was nothing to do. I got hungry and not wanting to eat leftovers I was going to get something to eat. No food establishments were open. I drove around and found that only a White Hen was open. I got a half a pound of Krakus Ham and a loaf of bread. Now that is good eating.
Also, there is nothing on T.V. Everything has a Christmas theme. I don’t want to watch Miracle on 34th St. or The Facts of Life Christmas special. There are no sports on, so unless you rented movies in advance, something I plan on doing this year, you’re screwed. I can understand why the suicide rates are so high around Christmas. Imagine having no friends or family around. You’re force feed this holiday cheer and you really have no say in the matter. Hell, I would be shopping for a gun myself, just so I don’t have to hear Rocking Around the Christmas Tree anymore.
Maybe I am jaded because I have like four Christmas celebrations each year. Multiply that by my age and you can see why I might be sick of the day. Also, it takes away from Halloween and Thanksgiving. Halloween is so much cooler. It is in the autumn, the leaves are changing, and there is a slight chill in the air. You’ve got much better Halloween related movies than Christmas films. There is no contest there. Also, haunted houses. I mean come on, you pay someone to scare you. It is a hell of a lot more fun than wrapping gifts. Thanksgiving is also better, because of football. They really need to change the name of Thanksgiving to Men’s day. I mean my biggest responsibility of the day is showing up. My mom and Aunt wait on the men hand and foot. We watch the game while they slave over a hot stove cooking a turkey. We got the long end of the stick on this one. I “try to give a hand.” However, I am usually getting in the way more than I am helping. There is no shopping, no mall, no Perry Como.
My last point is that Christmas is for kids. I agree with this and have no problem embracing that concept. Let’s face it at around age sixteen is when Christmas stops being fun and starts becoming a pain in the ass. However, since I choose to have no children (It’s a choice really) why am I required to partake in this event? I am not catholic, I don’t own a tree, I really don’t like egg nog. It is because everyone else in the free world celebrates it. Be it family, friends or work related mini celebrations, I have no choice. As bad as it is though the only thing I look forward to is the interaction with those close to me. You can take the presents, food, songs, bad wrapping paper, and holiday cheer and stuff it. I choose to see those close to me on my terms and I don’t need a holiday to make me do it. I do it because I like seeing everyone and talking. If you put things in perspective I guess I have nothing to really complain about. I have a ton of family and friends to share the holidays with and many do not. No one has to remind me of that. In that regard I am lucky. I realize my arguments and complaints are petty in comparison. That is just it. Why does it take Christmas to remind us of people out there suffering? Don’t these same people need help in April? I think Bart Simpson sums it up best. “Aren’t we forgetting the real meaning of Christmas, the birth of Santa.”
Really does anyone like Christmas? I mean it is a lot of work and for what? First of all it begins earlier every damn year. I saw trees up in a department store in late August this year. It was still summer for Christ’s sake! Next, people are under the false impression that it brings out the best in people. Work in retail for one Xmas and you will see otherwise.
I remember my first retail Christmas at K Mart. We had ran a sale ad for Christmas napkins. You know the kind with trees and elves on them. The kind no hetro man would ever buy. In typical K Mart fashion we ordered a whole one case of them. Sales started on Sunday and by about noon on that Sunday we were out. Well, a lovely woman who needed a fresh shave asked me if we had any. After I explained that we were out and that she could get a rain check (figuring it was the price not the lame Christmas design that she wanted) she proceeded to curse me out saying “What the hell good is that going to do me.” while walking out of the department knocking down a display case of Christmas Styrofoam plates. This is one of the many run-ins I had during the season. I will not even attempt to relay any of the Toys department horrors I witnessed. While there were always bad customers, it seemed that Christmas brought out the worst in everyone. And really do you blame anyone. Anybody who says they like the shopping needs serious help. People in the stores are rude, in their own world and careless. Most of the twelve year olds the stores have employed care more about what Jessica Simpson is wearing then your needs as a consumer. This is why I wait until Dec. 23rd to do my shopping. I know it is going to be bad but my point is why subject yourself to weeks of this? Get it done in one day and write that day off. I know ahead of time that I will need to get on a bus to get from where I parked my car to the entrance of the mall. I know I will have to wait in a 20-minute line at Bath and Body Works for a gift certificate and a scented candle.
Then there is the holiday itself. Christmas Eve is one thing. It’s nice seeing the family and exchanging gifts, but lets face it once that is done the next day is damn boring. For one, everything is closed. Every form of entertainment is gone (except for the movie theater.) Last Christmas I got the family stuff out of the way by like 3:00 figuring I had the rest of my day off to do something. There was nothing to do. I got hungry and not wanting to eat leftovers I was going to get something to eat. No food establishments were open. I drove around and found that only a White Hen was open. I got a half a pound of Krakus Ham and a loaf of bread. Now that is good eating.
Also, there is nothing on T.V. Everything has a Christmas theme. I don’t want to watch Miracle on 34th St. or The Facts of Life Christmas special. There are no sports on, so unless you rented movies in advance, something I plan on doing this year, you’re screwed. I can understand why the suicide rates are so high around Christmas. Imagine having no friends or family around. You’re force feed this holiday cheer and you really have no say in the matter. Hell, I would be shopping for a gun myself, just so I don’t have to hear Rocking Around the Christmas Tree anymore.
Maybe I am jaded because I have like four Christmas celebrations each year. Multiply that by my age and you can see why I might be sick of the day. Also, it takes away from Halloween and Thanksgiving. Halloween is so much cooler. It is in the autumn, the leaves are changing, and there is a slight chill in the air. You’ve got much better Halloween related movies than Christmas films. There is no contest there. Also, haunted houses. I mean come on, you pay someone to scare you. It is a hell of a lot more fun than wrapping gifts. Thanksgiving is also better, because of football. They really need to change the name of Thanksgiving to Men’s day. I mean my biggest responsibility of the day is showing up. My mom and Aunt wait on the men hand and foot. We watch the game while they slave over a hot stove cooking a turkey. We got the long end of the stick on this one. I “try to give a hand.” However, I am usually getting in the way more than I am helping. There is no shopping, no mall, no Perry Como.
My last point is that Christmas is for kids. I agree with this and have no problem embracing that concept. Let’s face it at around age sixteen is when Christmas stops being fun and starts becoming a pain in the ass. However, since I choose to have no children (It’s a choice really) why am I required to partake in this event? I am not catholic, I don’t own a tree, I really don’t like egg nog. It is because everyone else in the free world celebrates it. Be it family, friends or work related mini celebrations, I have no choice. As bad as it is though the only thing I look forward to is the interaction with those close to me. You can take the presents, food, songs, bad wrapping paper, and holiday cheer and stuff it. I choose to see those close to me on my terms and I don’t need a holiday to make me do it. I do it because I like seeing everyone and talking. If you put things in perspective I guess I have nothing to really complain about. I have a ton of family and friends to share the holidays with and many do not. No one has to remind me of that. In that regard I am lucky. I realize my arguments and complaints are petty in comparison. That is just it. Why does it take Christmas to remind us of people out there suffering? Don’t these same people need help in April? I think Bart Simpson sums it up best. “Aren’t we forgetting the real meaning of Christmas, the birth of Santa.”
posted by 10withmop at 10:18 AM
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