Screw American Idol

With the Bears season over, it is time to get into American Idol. At least that is what the women who sit behind my cube said. Well, let me be the first to gag, if that is the case. Hasn’t the shelf life on this show expired yet? Why can’t America see this show for what it really is? A bunch of diva’s with cruise-ship show talent singing old songs so that 40 something’s can feel safe in what is basically a karaoke contest.

I can’t give one exact reason for why this show bugs me so much. I guess there are a bunch of them. Maybe it is because I take music way too seriously. I always have and it has been one of my crosses to bear. I have ended relationships with women based solely on their musical tastes. It is not that I don’t think these amateurs can’t sing, because they can, but so what? Do you think Mick Jaeger or Neil Young would win American Idol? Me either but both of those guys have more talent in their little fingers then Taylor Hicks or Carrie Underwood have in their whole body.

Reality TV as a whole is beginning to get a bit stale. Survivor was more or less the beginning of the whole craze. I admit that I watched that first season. It was different and somewhat exciting. However, after that first season the newness and originality behind it really wore off. Fast forward seven years later and TV is over-run with un-scripted shows in which we get to peer into the private lives of D-list celebrities, watch fat people try to lose weight or see Donald Trump continue to use the same catch phrase over and over to the point of nausem. Eventually, doesn’t one want to at least set the bar a little higher in being entertained?

Listen, I am no prude. I love Jackass and have admitted it on many occasions. Funny is funny. In any format you can find some quality. Airline was a reality show on A&E which was very well done. Also, I must admit that Beauty and the Geek has it’s moments as well. (When they had the guys go up and do stand-up it was a stroke of genius.) Sadly, the vast majority of this reality TV nonsense is pure crap and American Idol is its biggest offender.

I am not sure what I hate more. The smug Simon Cowell, whose whole act is becoming as fresh as a Peter Frampton concert. Or, the lame late teen’s whose life goal is to become a corporate produced shill who is forced to warble out old Aretha Franklin tunes. Or is it that every performer on that show thinks that to be a singer they needed to hit and hold a note for like ten seconds.

When the show first started, I saw it for like five minutes and turned it off. As it gained popularity, I was perplexed, but then again, I am often confused when something I think is lacking any redeeming entertaining qualities, becomes popular. All of this came to boil a couple of years ago when I was at a bar trying to watch a ballgame.

It was a nice summer night and my friend Wally called me to go grab a drink and watch some baseball. Both the Cubs and Sox were on that night, so we went to a sports bar in the area to catch them. We didn’t realize that American Idol was on that night, but even if it was, so what. We were going to a sports bar, why would a sports bar have American Idol on?

Well, sure as shit, we walk in and the bar which had at least 20 TV’s had America Idol on 19 of them. The White Sox were on one TV in the corner, and the Cub’s weren’t on at all. I actually had to ask the bartender to put the game on and when I did she gave me a dirty look. I flet like saying for Christ’s sake, if you want to watch reality TV, then watch sports.

Sports are the ultimate reality TV. At least baseball is. There is a clear winner and loser. You can’t script it. No one is calling in to give their opinion on which country bumpkin sings better. Yet, here I was being in the vast minority at a sports bar, actually wanting to watch you know, sports.

At this point, I threw up my hands and officially gave up. It is sad when you have actual talented musicians who struggle their whole lives to find an audience when all you really need is to do is whore yourself out on American Idol and sing some covers and then put out an album that will be guaranteed to be a best seller. God bless the USA.