I Hate People

I went to Duke’s Monday night to get my Italian Beef fix. In front of me in line was an older couple in their early to mid fifties. The man ordered his beef and then it was his wife’s turn. Like I said she was older, had a nasally, bitter life has conquered me tone to her voice. Try and picture that tone as I try to describe how she placed her order.

Here is how she barked her request. “I want two Hot Dogs with fries. I want mustard, relish and onions on the hot dogs. Don’t put that on the hot dog itself. Put it on the bun first then place the hot dog on the bun. I don’t want to make a mess while I am eating this. Also, I want fresh fries. Don’t try and pawn off those fries that have been sitting there all day on me.”

At this point I looked over at her husband and wondered how he never hit her over the head with a pick axe. Instead, he just had this look of defeat on his face. I can only imagine what life with this old bag has been like.

This goes back to something I bitched about a while back. You are at Duke’s ordering a two dollar hot dog. This isn’t Lawry’s steak house. It is a fucking hot dog. Just eat the thing and be done with it. It is fast food. I can understand if you are paying for a forty dollar steak. For that price you have a right to order it to your personal taste. But a two dollar hot dog, give me a fucking break.

Eventually, she moved out of my way and I was able to order. I secretly hoped that the sixteen year old girl who she berated, when ordering would spit a nice loogie onto her precious hot dog. Or at least jock the bun for a few seconds. One last thing, you can get a hot dog anywhere. A Dukes Beef, on the other hand is a treasure. If you are going to make a trip there, you are doing yourself a great dis-service by ordering anything other then a beef or a combo.