Ten Years After

Ten years ago, today Joyce and I went on our first date. Five years later we would be married. That first date was to go see Urban Legends at the Quarry Cinema in Hodgkins. (I swear she picked that movie, not me.) We had actually gone out to lunch a number of times while we worked together at Harris, but the 24^th of October was our first date outside of the work setting.

It is hard to believe it has been ten years since that fateful first date. We had been working together starting in July of 98 and the flirting (at least from my end) started pretty much from the start. Joyce had a boyfriend when we first meet so, I had to bide my time and wait. But eventually she fell under the Nick spell and well, the rest is history.

This is by far the longest relationship I have ever had. Like any relationship we have our good days and our bad. Thankfully, the good have far out numbered the bad. One thing I believe that leads to marital bliss is our commitment to keep going on dates.

It is very easy to get into a rut when you are married. You see the same person every day and the monotony of everyday life can tend to dull the spark. Joyce and I usually go out on a date once a week. Maybe it is just going to dinner. Maybe it is to see a movie. Whatever it is, we try to find time to do that.

We are lucky in that we enjoy each others company. If you don’t like the person you are with you are not going to make it and there is a big difference between liking someone and loving them. If you can’t find things that you both enjoy doing together then you are going to have a tough road.

Sure, Joyce and I differ on many subjects. But, finding compromise and common ground is something we have been good at. Joyce loves Thai food. I like Thai food but don’t care to eat it more then once a month. But, I know she could eat it daily so, we have to find a balance, which we do. That is just one in many examples of finding a compromise.

Sure, our “dates” now aren’t like those dates we had ten years ago. (I mean we haven’t gone miniature golfing in years.) But, we still keep it fresh, by going out once a week and enjoying each others company. I know it is easier in that we have a disposable income and don’t have to worry about hiring a baby sitter each time we go out.

So, I guess in some ways we are lucky and in others not so much. Ten years ago, I never could have imagined that I would be married to the girl I saw Urban Legends with. Joyce likes to say it was love at first sight. She claims she knew we were going to get married from that first date. I of course had a different time line and marriage was the last thing on my mind that night. But, here we are in a place that feels awfully good. I am content and really what else could anyone ask for.