Blog Hiatus

I’ve written about this before but the last couple weeks I have really been thinking about this subject more. Why do I waste my time writing a blog? I mean do I really think anyone gives a shit what my opinion is on anything? Am I that self absorbed where I delude myself into thinking that anyone bothers to even read the thing?

I read a lot of blogs. I am kind of a blog nerd. While there are far better ones out there, there are also a lot that are far worse. I put mine right smack dab in the middle. I am not a writer, I don’t pretend to be one and know my limitations enough to realize I will never be a professional. I am however opinionated. I would say that maybe I am opinionated to a fault.

In some ways I guess that is good and in others not so much. While I think everyone should have their beliefs and believe in them strongly, I guess having strong opinions can sometimes rub people the wrong way. At times, I am guilty of being very close minded when it comes to my feelings and don’t allow others to validate their beliefs. I consider their opinions invalid. I have this weird fixation with needing to always be right and trying to debate people about what they feel. That is wrong and I am trying to work on it. I am trying to be more inclusive and as much as a Jimmy Buffett record or Cowboy fan may irk me, I have to try to live and let live.

In the past, I used this little piece of cyber space to vent my beliefs (Like my hatred for all things ketchup) or to re-tell old war stores for the most part. Sometimes I wrote pretty good pieces and some others were just shit. But, I liked writing things here because it kept me sane. I could tell some story that made me laugh or vent about Jon Bon Jovi without fear of reprisal.

On the other hand, if I stopped writing my blog I doubt very much anyone would even notice. So, again I have to ask why even bother. I am almost embarrassed when anyone I know brings up the site. I guess I like to leave my blog on the internet and not really discuss it in person. The very rare occasions where someone compliments me on my writing I get almost self conscious about it.

As I have said, lately this has been on my mind a lot more then normal which has led to me posting less and less. Back in the day I could think of four or five different things to write about where now even when I think of something I don’t have the passion I once had for it.

With that in mind, I have been thinking of stopping altogether. Part of me still likes venting here and letting out my creative side. Another part of me thinks of this site as a chore. A chore I get no money from and waste a lot of time on. So, I think I will compromise and just post when things are really relevant to me. If something fires me up, then I will post my thoughts. This means less updates and I am ok with that. I went back and read some of my early blog posts and compared them to some current ones and it is easy to tell I had much more passion for it back in the day.

So, if the three people who read this, don’t see a ton of updates that doesn’t mean I am dead, it just means there is nothing I feel strongly about. I will still keep posting but I doubt it will be with the same regularity. Who knows, next week I may change my mind and be right back to posting three times a week. But, for now I am going to put the keyboard away for awhile and maybe I will get fired up again about writing on this old blog.

Nick