Easter Blues

Today is Good Friday and Sunday is Easter. Easter has always been in my mind the lamest of the many lame holidays on the calendar. You don’t get a day off of work for it (However I see many still take today off based on the emptiness of my train this morning and our office resembling the hospital in the beginning of 28 Days Later.) Yet, I still have to make the rounds and visit parts of my family that are littered all throughout the Chicagoland area.

I don’t have any good Easter stories. I have good Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and St. Patrick’s Day memories. Easter, all I can remember is being dragged to church on Good Friday and having to sit there for what seemed like an eternity for the Stations of the Cross. (I believe now it is known as the Passion) For those not of the Catholic faith, basically it was a mass where the final hours of Jesus were re- told in all their bloody glory. After the endless mass was finally over it was usually followed (at least with my Grandparents) with a trip to the local VFW for the all you could eat fish fry.

Man, those fish fry’s were something else. If there was a way to make fish any unhealthier I would love to hear it. You basically take some cod and flash fry it in a Crisco based batter. My Grandpa’s VFW would be a mob scene on Fridays during lent. You wouldn’t be able to park and you would wait in line that stretched around Burbank for the artery clogging fish. It usually was like $5 for all the fish your stomach could handle.

Easter itself was more church with a mass that lasted longer than Ben Hur. Finally you go home and feast on some ham and if you were good a visit from the mythological Easter Bunny. I get Santa. The Easter Bunny that one just boggles my mind. I actually googled the Easter Bunny and read a little bit about the origins. Seems like the Germans are to blame for all of this. (Walter: Germans, fucking Nazi’s. Donny: They were Nazi’s Dude? Walter: Oh, come on Donny, They were threatening castration are we going to split hairs here?)

What is the point of all of this? I guess I just wanted to bitch about a day that really doesn’t matter much to me yet, still I feel obligated to celebrate with my family. Maybe bitch is too harsh a word. I like seeing my family. It is the constant travel throughout the day that bugs me. I don’t complain much about being a child of divorced parents because really I don’t have much to complain about. However, when it comes to holidays it becomes an issue. I have been visiting two sets of families since the 70’s and whenever it is perceived that I am spending more time with one side of my family over the other I get someone upset at me. It is getting old. (And I know I am lucky to have family and people that want to see me. I do feel blessed in that respect.)

In any event for those who still believe in all this religious mumbo jumbo, have a Happy Easter. Have fun with you Paas egg dye and marshmallow peeps. I just ask that you say a little prayer for me as I am swearing like a sailor fighting with all the other drivers heading south on 55 into the vastness of the western suburbs.