A New Begining
I have decided to finally trade in my Cubs hat and give in to my south side roots and switch sides. I will now be a Sox fan. I can no longer take the heartache and despair the Cubs offer. While, I realize that the Sox haven’t won a pennant in over 45 years either at least I am among fellow Sox fans and hey misery loves company.
So, I will now take up the process of creating a chip on my shoulder. I will now compare the White Sox not to the other inhabitants of the AL Central but to the Cubs. I must learn to bitch about, anything and everything. I need to develop that us against the world mentality as well. I must also, hate ivy and good looking women. As I have learned it comes with the territory when you become a Sox fan.
I also need to buy a good and steady ruler. I know that by being a Sox fan I have to measure all the space in the Sun Times and the Tribune dedicated to the Cubs and Sox and measure them. I need to do this to prove my paranoia about being the second team in the second city. Because we all know the Cubs get at least three more inches of press each week. I also must start taping sports radio to validate what all Sox fans know as true, there is a definite Cubs bias on the airwaves.
Unfortunately, I am a little late on getting my Sosa sucks tee shirts but I can always go with the classic Cubs suck shirt. It is the official uniform for us hardened bitter Sox fans. The best thing about becoming a Sox fan is that, now I will become instantly smarter and a better fan. Since we know all Cub fans care about is drinking and hitting on girls in the stands, by becoming a Sox fan, I automatically increase my baseball IQ and I guess I will have to join AA as apparently they don’t sell beer at Comiskey, I mean US Cellular Field.
Also, I have already started growing my hair out in the back to get my official Sox mullet. Any good Sox fan has to have the old school retro 80’s mullet. I also, must learn to love the phrases, He gone, Put it on the board, Stretch, and Grab some bench. On top of all this I get the added benefit of watching exciting 10-8, four and a half hour, Designated Hitter, American League Baseball.
So, from now on it will be GO YOU WHITE SOX. Being already a pessimist and somewhat bitter I should fit right in to White Sox nation. I figure, if I learn the sha-na-na song and start taking more pleasure in the failure of the Cubs than in the winning of my own team I should fit right in.
So, I will now take up the process of creating a chip on my shoulder. I will now compare the White Sox not to the other inhabitants of the AL Central but to the Cubs. I must learn to bitch about, anything and everything. I need to develop that us against the world mentality as well. I must also, hate ivy and good looking women. As I have learned it comes with the territory when you become a Sox fan.
I also need to buy a good and steady ruler. I know that by being a Sox fan I have to measure all the space in the Sun Times and the Tribune dedicated to the Cubs and Sox and measure them. I need to do this to prove my paranoia about being the second team in the second city. Because we all know the Cubs get at least three more inches of press each week. I also must start taping sports radio to validate what all Sox fans know as true, there is a definite Cubs bias on the airwaves.
Unfortunately, I am a little late on getting my Sosa sucks tee shirts but I can always go with the classic Cubs suck shirt. It is the official uniform for us hardened bitter Sox fans. The best thing about becoming a Sox fan is that, now I will become instantly smarter and a better fan. Since we know all Cub fans care about is drinking and hitting on girls in the stands, by becoming a Sox fan, I automatically increase my baseball IQ and I guess I will have to join AA as apparently they don’t sell beer at Comiskey, I mean US Cellular Field.
Also, I have already started growing my hair out in the back to get my official Sox mullet. Any good Sox fan has to have the old school retro 80’s mullet. I also, must learn to love the phrases, He gone, Put it on the board, Stretch, and Grab some bench. On top of all this I get the added benefit of watching exciting 10-8, four and a half hour, Designated Hitter, American League Baseball.
So, from now on it will be GO YOU WHITE SOX. Being already a pessimist and somewhat bitter I should fit right in to White Sox nation. I figure, if I learn the sha-na-na song and start taking more pleasure in the failure of the Cubs than in the winning of my own team I should fit right in.
posted by 10withmop at 9:18 AM
2 Comments:
I assume your tongue is firmly implanted in your cheek...........
At last, I knew you had a reasonable side! No need to actually develop a new chip on your shoulder, the previous one you had by feeling superior to anyone rooting for the South Side team will do! It is not whether or not you have a chip on your shoulder, that is of any importance, it is the reasoning and pyscho-social erosion that caused that divot to form. So I forgive you! Wow, I can't believe that I finally got to use 'psycho-social' in a sentence. Now if I could just figure out what it means...Until then.. Go..go..White Sox! I'm Gone!!!
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