People Suck

Here we go with another vent. Whenever, I run out of idea's I can always go to the well.

Oblivious People – You know the type. They are walking around in their own world and are not aware of anyone else. They talk on their cell phone in the grocery store taking up the whole aisle. They don’t move their cart to let anyone get through the aisle. These dolts have the unique ability to disregard the rest of society’s feelings and do what they please. No one else in the world matters I guess. The most glaring example of this is when I get off of the train and head up the escalator at Union Station. There is a sign clearly marked to stand on the left and walk on the right. Nothing grates me more than when you have some asshole that stands on the right side so that now the whole escalator gets jammed with people. It’s like I don’t care if a hundred people behind me have to wait I am going to stand here and not use my legs.

Unhappy married people – When I was getting married I had so many people come up to me and tell me of the horrors of marriage. I felt like saying, if you are that unhappy than get a fucking divorce already. Just because you married either to young or out of a desperate fear of being alone do not assume that I am going to do the same thing. When you add kids to the mix this only makes it worse. If you hate you spouse and the only reason you are staying together is for your kids, trust me you are doing more harm than good. Those kids are eventually going to resent you for raising them in a hostile environment. As much as divorce sucks it is a better alternative than raising kids in a loveless existence.

Automated phone operators – You know how much could it really cost a company to actually have a live human being answering the phone? There is nothing I hate more than calling the electric company with a question and having to go through fifteen prompts to get an actual person. The next time I call a company 800 number and a real human picks up that is a company that is going to get my business for the rest of my life.

Sunday Weddings – Unless that Sunday is right before a Monday holiday there is nothing worse than a Sunday wedding. Usually some cheap ass will figure hey, to save money why don’t we get married on a Sunday. While, it is indeed cheaper, I always give a Sunday gift. Meaning I discount my normal gift by 40 percent. Knowing people do in fact work for a living, you are inconveniencing your guests and insuring your wedding reception is going to over by 8:30. I’ve been to a lot of bad weddings and the few Sunday weddings I’ve been to have all sucked.

Line Dancing – Is there anything more un-hip and robotic like than line dancing? It is usually a bunch of overly white people getting in a line and doing the exact same sheep like movements that they call dancing. Let me tell you, Line Dancing requires no rhythm, which is usually essential to dancing. Not that I am a Travolta out there, but I refuse to dance to anything with instructions. I need to free form when I am shaking my moneymaker. It is a sad statement when every fucking wedding I go to (including my own) I have to endure this zombie, hillbilly, cracker ass “dancing.”

Britney Spears – Alright, I know that there have been talentless diva’s out there that have sold records forever but, isn’t it time for this hack to get off of the front pages of People. Other than the whole Lolita factor just what is there to like about her? Her concerts are her just dancing and lip-synching. Her songs are all about getting laid and she dresses like a cheap hooker. Why anyone gives a shit about her is beyond me. I ask for the good of society that she just go back to the trailer park she came from have about fifty kids, pork up and leave us alone. She already has enough of our money.

Bare Feet in Public – Is there anything more disgusting than someone walking around with bare feet. There is nothing more nauseating than being in a store looking down at some red neck and they are walking around with there yellow toe nailed, black bottomed, smelling disgusting feet. Listen, no one wants to smell your foot order. The next time I see one of these yokels walking around in bare feet, I am going to eat a large quantity of sauerkraut and go right up to them and break wind right in their face. To me one behavior is no worse than the other.

Fat People in the Rascal’s at the Grocery Store – Listen, if you have a legitimate health problem than by all means use that motorized cart in the store. That is what it is there for. My problem is with the woolly mammoth’s that squeeze their 400-pound asses into them. If anyone needs the exercise it is these rhino’s, yet they feel the need to just shoe horn into a cart and wheel around the store, buying more food that they obviously don’t need. These are the dregs of the dregs of society who could care less about physical appearance or their own health and figure why walk when I can just go around in this motorized cart and let it do my walking for me. Pathetic, simply pathetic.

Diet Beer – I hate to break this to people but beer is not good for you. It also can add pounds to your frame. The flip side of this is that it tastes good. I am not drinking it to promote good health. So, I don’t need Lite or low carb beer that taste about as flavorful as a plain rice cake. These pussies that go out and buy Michelob Ultra so that they can enjoy beer with the out the carbs are morons. Beer has carbs, if you don’t want them than don’t drink beer. Now, when I hit the liquor store, shelf space that used to go to good beers is being taken up by pseudo beers that only dumb ass yuppies want to buy.