Nick's Top 5 Weddings

As I have mentioned numerous times I have been too a whole lot of weddings over the years. Within the next couple of months I know of at least two I will be attending. Here I will list the five weddings I had the most fun at. Because, let’s face it the goal of any wedding reception should be to have a good time. So that automatically discounts any wedding that takes place on a Sunday or does not have an open bar.

I had fun at my own wedding of course but it was also a lot of work. I made a deal with my wife. I would be sober as a bird until we hit the limo after the ceremony. At that point, it was all hands on deck and away I went. Still, you have to glad hand a lot and get your picture taken like you are a rock star so, it can be a stressful day which takes away a little from the enjoyment. Anyway, here is the list in chorological order of the weddings I had the best times at.

My Mom and Lou’s 1984 – I was all of fifteen. I had the responsibility of giving my Mom away. It was a long day. The actual wedding went off without a hitch outdoors in my Aunt’s backyard. Then the reception took place.

It was at the Sabre Room on 95^th street in Hickory Hills. It would mark the first time in my life that I got drunk. And when I say, drunk I mean falling on my ass shit faced. I was drinking screwdrivers that various family members were sneaking to me. I was out of my mind. I wound up dancing most of the night with some woman who worked with my Mom who was in her thirties. I blacked out most of the second half of the wedding. (I could have lost my virginity that night and not have known it.) Still, I had a blast.

The next morning was not such of a blast as I awoke to find myself on the kitchen floor of my Aunt’s house with an imprint of her linoleum floor on my cheek. I then had to get up and get in a car to start a road trip that my Mom and Lou took to Albuquerque to visit Lou’s family. That was a very long day.

Teri Hull 1990ish – I am not sure of the exact year, but it was the early 90’s. And for the record, it wasn’t a wedding it was a party. It just so happened that someone we knew got married that night. Teri worked at Kmart with the rest of us. She worked in the Deli that the Mart used to run. For the years she worked there, I never paid for a foot long hot dog or a cherry slurpie once. She was actually a really cool person now that I think about it.

For some reason she thought it was a good idea to invite the Kmart posse to her wedding. The reception took place at a VFW Hall somewhere off of Harlem. For some reason and I am not sure why as my memory is a little hazy, I wound up taking Sue the Pharmacist I worked with as my date. I think I may have been dating Jenny at this time, but I know for a fact I took Sue.

That would work to my advantage as she drove which allowed me to drink the night away. My friends were all there and the scene quickly turned into Caligula type event. At one point we got the DJ to play Higher Ground by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and a mosh pit ensued right in the middle of the dance floor. I got ten sheets to the wind and remember Sue sneaking me into Key Largo (so this had to be before my 21^st birthday) after the wedding was over for a nightcap. All that, and I can not for the life of me remember who Terri married. I do now that the marriage itself lasted around a year.

The Connor’s 1996 – Chuck was the first real good friend of mine that got married. So, we took that as an opportunity to celebrate a tad excessively. Also, Chuck would be the only one whose Kmart romance would last. And there wasn’t a person who worked there that didn’t have at least one Kmart romance.

I stood up in the wedding so, I had to have the tux and the whole nine yards. I remember standing at the altar next to Chuck as this waterfall kept flowing and at about half way through the ceremony, I realized I really had to take a leak.

The reception itself was at the Chateau Bu-Sche in Alsip. I was going out with my psycho ex girlfriend at the time (the only negative) so I went with her. Again it was more like a party then it was a wedding reception. I was on the dance floor the whole night shaking my money maker for all it was worth. I again blacked out the last hour or so as I was drinking all day long.

The highlight-lowlight depending on how you look at it, was when the DJ played the Mony Mony cover by Billy Idol and myself along with a number of Chuck’s “friends” started yelling get laid, get fucked all the while oblivious to the looks on Chuck’s new brides family. I still had one hell of a good time at that one.

The Conway’s 2000 (I think) – That wedding was memorable for one huge reason. The Kevin Conway improvised Mr. Roboto dance. I was not dating Joyce, (we had a brief period that year when we stopped dating, or as Joyce says I broke up with her) and I can not remember if I brought a date or not. I do remember going with my brother and his then girlfriend at the time.

The reception was at the William Tell Holiday Inn in Countryside. As per usual, an open bar means Nick gets pretty loaded. A huge plus was my table was right by the bar. I mean I could order from my seat if I wanted to. Again, a ton of friends were there and we were having a good old time.

Then, the DJ played Mr. Roboto and well a slightly inebriated Mr. Conway did a dance that any drunken Irishman should be jealous of. A half-robot, half Irish jig that had every guest rolling with laughter at the mere sight. Con’s has always been an unabashed fan of Styx and with the lubrication of liquid courage, he got up and did a dance for the ages.

The Hunger’s 2006 – A really fun time where the wedding was secondary to the whole weekend. It took place at Starved Rock. The wedding was on Saturday but everyone got there on Friday night so, it turned out to be a weekend long celebration. Joyce and I like most of the guests stayed at the resort they had located on the premises. There was a bar located in there that basically stayed open as long as we wanted both nights. I think the first night I was up until 4 AM bullshitting with everyone.

On Saturday, the wedding took place. It was outdoors and a really neat. The reception took place at a hall in Starved Rock. It was a chance to catch up with everyone and spend some time together. It was like a camping trip witch happened to include two people we knew getting married. It was a pretty fun weekend.