Angry Middle Aged Man

I have some pent up aggression. Not sure why but anyway here are some things I need to get off my chest.

They should just Xerox the Pot Hole story every year. I get it, Chicago roads after they are salted get pot holes. This is not a news flash. You can basically just run the same tape you had in 1983. If you live in Chicago and drive a car and don’t know this already then you should be neutered.

They should teach how to drive in snow in driver’s education classes. I am sure of two things. One is that the sun sets in the west. The other is that with the first snowfall of the year there will be an abundance of drivers on the road who have no clue how to handle this. Driving in the snow is a talent and takes smarts. Sadly it way to fucking easy to obtain a drivers license nowadays. Sure enough I was out on that first day of snow this year driving around behind mouth breathers galore who were either driving insanely slow in their minivans or driving completely inappropriate cars in the snow. (Newsflash a Ford Mustang with rear wheel drive may not be the best car to drive in the middle of a snowstorm.) Add on top of this the fact that a summer of “normal” driving has made the morons forget how to deal with snow. Sometimes it is all too much to take.

To the people who actually go to the stores on Black Friday, there is now a thing called the internet. I realize there are people in this world that actually like going shopping. Most of these people are women and I am fully aware I have no clue when it comes to the fairer sex. But even if you like shopping it simply boggles my mind how anyone would willingly get up at 4 AM to go to Kohl’s to save 10% on a pair of Dockers. Especially now when there are these things called websites where on some of them, you can shop for goods. I get wanting to go to the store to pick out things yourself. But, going on that Friday is certifiable.

If you don’t know what something costs find out before you go to pay at the register. There should be a rule. When you are in line you have committed to purchase the items in your possession. Nothing burns my impatient ass more then waiting behind some jag who waits until they are at the register to find out what something costs and then at that point has the internal debate whether to actually by an item. Listen, there are other people who had the misfortune to get behind you. They have lives as well and may not want to spend fifteen minutes behind you while you decide if you really want that turquoise sweater. You can usually find the price on something by either looking at the sign where you found the item or finding the this thing called a pricetag. If you still can’t figure it out then there are usually in most stores people called sales associates. They can help you find the price.

People at Cardinal Fitness need to respect others personal space. This has happened to me so many times I have lost count when I go to workout. I am on a treadmill. To my left there are like ten open treadmills. But for some reason some asshead will decide to use to the machine right next to me. This sucks because usually it is some guy (and I hate to say it but ten times out of ten it is a dude) who hasn’t bathed and when he starts to sweat reeks worse then my gas after I eat a Fasano's sausage pizza and troth of Lindy’s chili combo. I know I look all sexy when my ass is giggling on the treadmill but can you do me a favor and use this thing called deodorant. If you don’t want to do that then use one of the other treadmills. Thanks.