Even More Ipod Fun

I haven’t done this for awhile. Here are the first 25 songs that come up on my Ipod shuffle.

1. Come Dancing, The Kinks – I have gotten into the Kinks more and more. This sweet little popish 80’s tune always puts a smile on my face. I will always think back to the video as well, with the kid using the tennis racket as a guitar.

2. The Stranger, Billy Joel – This song is further proof of my theory about Mr. Joel. His 70’s stuff is so good that you can only assume he really died in a plane crash in like 1981 and the guy calling himself Billy Joel now is an imposter. I mean how else can you explain Uptown Girl. This is Joel at his best. The Stranger might be my favorite album he put out.

3. Shower the People, James Taylor – I am not a huge James Taylor guy. I don’t dislike him but it is hard to jam to the guy. You definitely need to be in a certain mindframe to listen to him. This song is the one I danced to with my Mom at my wedding so of course it does have a special meaning.

4. Let Love Rule, Lenny Kravitz – Is there any more polarizing figure in music then Kravitz? Some people love him and others I know just despise him. I am somewhere in the middle. I don’t think he is any musical visionary but, I do cop to liking a number of tunes he has helmed, this being one of them.

5. Killer Queen, Queen – Well, what red blooded male of my age doesn’t like Queen? Freddie Mercury was quite possibly the best showman to lead a rock band behind that killer sound that Brian May led. This is not their best track my any stretch but it is still catchy enough and doesn’t hurt.

6. Eight Days a Week, The Beatles – I am a big Beatles guy and won’t apologize for it. This is them at their pop song early best. Yes, it does not have a lot to say but, hell if it isn’t a great song that you cannot help but sing along to.

7. Flowers on the Wall, The Statler Brothers – I snaked this one off of the Pulp Fiction soundtrack. I am not a huge country guy by any stretch of the imagination. However, I do enjoy this song, sue me.

8. Heart and Soul, Huey Lewis and the News – Shit. Well, it is on my Ipod so, I guess I have to try and defend it. I am not sure that I can. I have stated on many occasions my affinity for a lot of bad 80’s music. I grew up in the era with MTV and a lot of the songs of that time period always seem to bring back a flood of memories and a smile on my face. There were certainly worse things to come out of the 80’s, like Bon Jovi. (You know I will never get sick of ripping that hack.)

9. Bloodletting, Concrete Blonde – Most people will remember their much, much bigger hit, Joey. This is off of the same album. I bought the CD back in the day and actually quite enjoyed it. This song in particular is really good. Not sure why they never were able to back up this record with another one.

10. American Idiot, Green Day – OK, I know all the negatives about Green Day so spare me. I like them. I know that angers a lot of people but fuck it. I dig what they do and sure they aren’t the Ramones or the Clash but so what. For what they are they are pretty good. I really dig this CD and won’t apologize for doing so.

11. Rockabilly Boogie, Robert Gordon – Robert Gordon is one of my favorite rockabilly guys. He never reached the heights of a Brain Setzer but, Gordon is pretty good in his own right. If you like the genre I suggest you give him a try.

12. Nothing but Flowers, Talking Heads – Oh how I used to love this band. I still pretty much do. This is one of my favorites from them. Sure, it wasn’t the most popular tune they ever crafted, but there is something about this one that speaks to me.

13. Here Comes My Baby, Cat Stevens – Grabbed this one off of the Rushmore soundtrack. (Which is in my top 5 soundtracks of all time.) This is a rather upbeat little ditty from the usually melodw Stevens.

14. Mony, Mony Tommie James and the Shondell’s – I dig the original much more then the Billy Idol version. Of course the Billy Idol version when played at a wedding becomes a vulgar filled drunken anthem. So, you have to respect that.

15. Go Cubs Go, Steve Goodman – Okay I think every Cubs fan should have this on their Ipod. I am a baseball and more to the point a Cubs geek. So, yes when the Cubs win I play this song. Make fun of me all you want. I actually feel bad for the Cub haters because they just don’t get it and never will.

16. Kicks, Paul Revere and the Raiders – This is one of my favorite tunes to come out of the 60’s. Paul Revere and the Raiders actually had a couple of hits, but this is probably their most popular. It has been covered a gazillion times but you can’t beat the O.G.

17. For What it’s Worth, Buffalo Springfield – I think my Ipod is stuck in the 60’s. Neil Young and Steven Stills were members of the band so by default I have to like them. This was by far their biggest hit. That opening guitar riff has been used to flashback to the 60’s on every shitty movie and TV show that has been made in the last 10 years.

18. Changes, David Bowie – As I get older, I dig Bowie more and more. I mean I have always been a fan but lately I have re-discovered his music and find myself really enjoying it. Changes is not my favorite Bowie track, but I do dig it on some level.

19. Not One of Us, Peter Gabriel – I have the entire “Melt” record on my Ipod and with good reason. It is probably my favorite disc of Gabriel’s entire rather impressive catalog. This song always seems to put a smile on my face as it reminds of the time I first got into his music sometime in the late 80’s.

20. Boys Don’t Cry, The Cure – I threw up a link to this video on my Facebook page a couple of weeks back. I know I am a girl, but I really love this song for some reason. I didn’t meet a girl in the 80’s that didn’t like Depeche Mode and The Cure. I get the Cure thing while I never understood why anyone would willingly listen to Depeche Mode.

21. Lonely is the Night, Billy Squier – My wife is an unabashed fan of this album. I am not as enthusiastic, but I will admit this is the best track on Don’t Say So.

22. Pilot Can at the Queer of God, The Flaming Lips – I am on record in stating my love of this entire album. This song is track 2 and hits the right cord after coming down from Turn it On. And now she has helicopters can mean so many things.

23. Soul to Squeeze, Red Hot Chili Peppers – This should have been the first sign that the Peppers were about to make a left turn from their funk early roots, because this song is about as un-funk as you can get. Yet, I still dig it. It appeared on the Conehead’s soundtrack of all places. Please don’t ask why I own that disc.

24. London Calling, The Clash – If there is a better beginning to a record I am not sure what it is. London Calling is the title track to a album that I consider the best ever made. It still sounds fresh 30 years after its release. It was the perfect storm for The Clash, when everything just worked. Just a magnificent achievement.

25. Tonight, Tonight, The Smashing Pumpkins – You know I am not really a Smashing Pumpkins guy. So, I am not sure what this song is doing on my Ipod. But it is on there for some reason. A lot of people got into them in the early 90’s but I never really thought they were that great. To each their own, but they are just not my cup of tea.

Mythbuster

There are a lot of misconceptions floating out there about Cub fans that are false. Usually they are propagated by Cub haters. These are people that haven’t set foot in Wrigley field in 15 years and still hold onto stereotypes that have no validity. For the most part it is some deep rooted jealousy and feelings of inadequacy about their own ballclub or their own lives. It says a lot about a person that takes satisfaction in the misery of others and harbors such feelings of hate. But, I digress.

With that in mind, I want to set the record straight. I am here to dispel 10 myths about Cub fans. Let me say that no fan base is perfect and in any large group you will find assholes. But, if you want to rip the Cubs and Cub fans to me you better get your facts straight cause there is nothing I love more than calling bullshit on these above myths.

1. Wrigley Field is the world’s largest outdoor beer garden. – Yes they sell beer at Wrigley Field. (Just like they do in every other park in the majors.) And yes from time to time some Cub fans will get a little inebriated. But anytime you get 40,000 people in one place, you are going to have some of them that cannot handle their booze. Listen, I get it. The bleachers are for the most part a bunch of drunken college kids that are there to drool over Trixies and get drunk. However, the bleachers at their capacity hold 5,000 people. The park seats 40,000 so you do the math. For the most part, the other sections of the park do not contain drunken morons. They are there sure but in much smaller numbers. I attend nearly 20 games a year and I haven’t sat in the bleachers since 1997 for a reason.

2. Cub fans are racist – Of all the charges against Cub fans this one galls me the most. I have been too close to 100 Cub games in the last 5 years. In that time I have not heard one racial slur, not one. Gordon Wittenmyer and Carol Slezak in the Sun Times both have written articles giving credence to this ugly rumor and for that I say shame on them. Are there a small percentage of Cub fans that are racist, I’m sure. But just because you have a couple of jackasses does that mean all Cub fans should be labeled as racists? The reason we booed Jacque Jones, LaTroy Hawkins and Milton Bradley are the same reasons we booed Todd Hundley, Kyle Farnsworth and Steve Trachsel, because they all sucked on the field. For Christ’s sake, Mr. Cub is Ernie Banks. Derek Lee is one of the most popular jerseys in the stands. I am willing to go out on a limb and state that 99% of Cub fans are not racists and any one that believes otherwise is a moron.

3. Cub fans aren’t “real” baseball fans – This is one that always makes me laugh. First off, what exactly is a “real” fan? My feelings on this, is that the only way some fans of other teams (Sox fans for the most part) can pump themselves up is to knock down Cub fans. I love baseball and yes, I take the game seriously. But, I don’t expect every fan in that ballpark to know who Larry Bittner and Mike Vail were. One thing I love when I hear this argument is to throw it right back in the accusers face. I am not bragging (I mean being a baseball geek is nothing to be proud of) but, I pride myself in knowing more about baseball they any Sox fan. I will usually challenge them to White Sox trivia. I tell them I bet I know more about the White Sox then they do. And when I embarrass them with their lack of knowledge on the team they claim to love so much, I then say “Well I guess you aren’t a real fan either.” Again, for the record, I have no problem if you are a casual baseball fan. But, please spare me the, our fans are “real” baseball fans argument. It is bogus and completely un-provable.

4. Cub fans blame Bartman for the 2003 playoff loss to the Marlins – This is one I hear all the time and it mystifies me. I personally don’t know any Cub fan that blames Bartman. As a matter of fact, most Cub fans I know feel bad for the guy and think it is completely unfair what he has had to go through. Now in the moment, when the play happened, I was pissed. It was emotional and of course I thought he was a moron for interfering with Alou trying to make that catch. However, after 5 minutes of reflection, my anger was directed at Alex Gonzalez, Dusty Baker and Larry Rothschild, the people who in my opinion are the ones who truly deserve the blame. I think the whole Bartman thing is a media creation. It makes for interesting reading and a lot of lazy journalists will continue to run with the story because it is easy and you don’t have to actually talk to any actual Cub fans. Trust me, I don’t blame Bartman and I would bet a vast majority of Cub fans don’t blame him either. As a matter of fact, if I did see the guy I would buy him a beer. The guy has gone through enough already.

5. The only reason the Cubs sell out is that most of the fans are from out of state – Is Wrigley Field a tourist attraction? Yes, it is, and I am not going to apologize for that. Is that the reason the Cubs sell out? Not by a long shot. I am on the Cubs season ticket waiting list. I am currently about 104,000 in line. I highly doubt the other 103,999 are all from Iowa. As a Cub fan I like meeting people from other cities that are experiencing the ballpark for the first time. I feel it is my responsibility on behalf of all Cub fans to make the trip a pleasant and memorable one. My wife will always sit in amazement at a game with me when I start talking up some newbie to Wrigley. With that said, I would guess that maybe 5 % of the park is filled with out of towner's for most games. Sure when the Cardinals come in that number goes up. But as someone who has watched the Cubs in enemy territory numerous times, I always make sure to be respectful. I have been on the other side of that and it is not fun. (Brewer fans, I am talking to you.) I’m sorry if the park on the south side is not a tourist attraction. That is not Wrigley’s fault. Be secure in your own worth and stop mocking what you wish you were.

6. Wrigley Field is a rat infested, decrepit old park that is falling apart – Wrigley Field is in fact old. It does need some repairs. But, from a fans perspective there is nothing like it. Whenever, I hear Ozzie Guillen and Mark Buehrle bitch about Wrigley, it just cements into my mind what wussy, cry baby pansies they are. To me at least they come off as spoiled rich brats who are bitching because they have to change in a small dressing room for three days. Jesus, I would have given my left nut to be able to play baseball for a living. To bitch about the minor inconveniences about a park that millions of fans love, is well kind of being an asshole. What they don’t get is that from a fan’s perspective it is nostalgia at its best. There is no exploding scoreboard, or jumbotron. We don’t have a fan-o-meter or some carnival barker imploring us to cheer. A game at Wrigley is about what is on the field. More so then in any other park outside of Fenway. It is about as close to experiencing a game like our fathers and grandfathers did. If those who rip the park don’t get that then I am truly sorry for them.

7. The management of the Cubs doesn’t care about their fans – I used to hear this one a lot back in the day. Nowadays you don’t hear it as much but every so often some uninformed loud mouth will spout off about it. The Cubs consistently over the last eight to nine years have spent a lot of money on the product on the field. Sure, we could have a very good debate about what they spent it on, but you cannot argue with the fact that the Cubs payroll is right at the top where it belongs. Yes ,ticket prices are high. But, a baseball game at Wrigley is still cheaper than a Bears game and most seats at the United Center for the Bulls or Hawks. Yes, the management has angered me from time to time with their creative thinking to try and squeeze every nickel they can out of the park. But, I don’t care if they start charging me to use the troughs as long as they put a winner on the field.

8. Cub fans are losers because they root for a losing team – This is one I hear a lot. “How can you root for a team that has never won? If you are then you are a loser.” To this all I can mutter is, wow. If you didn’t grow up a Cub fan I guess in a way I get it. You cannot appreciate what it takes to be one of us. It takes a certain personality to be a Cub fans. You need to be an eternal optimist. You need to have faith. You have to be a dreamer. You have to have hope that one day your years of fandom will be rewarded. You can call us names sure. But to call us losers, well I’m sorry you’re wrong. If being an optimist is being a loser then I don’t want to be a winner.

9. Cub fans are idiots for packing the park. They should demand a winner – This is similar to the previous myth. I hear this one all the time. Cub fans should boycott and not go to the park unless the team is a winner. You see, at least in my mind, the fans who actually only go when the team is winning are the worst kind of fans. They are called band wagon jumpers, or front runners. It takes no imagination or heart to root for a team only when they are winning. For me to be a fan is to support the team in good times and bad. Now, let me say no one on God’s green earth wants the Cubs to win more than me. And no one gets more pissed when they lose. I complain about the Cubs as much or more so then anyone. But, I never stop being a fan. And I would never not go to the park or stop rooting for them. On top of all this, if anyone still believes that Cub fans don’t care about the outcome of games, that person hasn’t been to Wrigley in years. The fans are into every pitch and when it is required boo their ass off when a player deserves it (see, Soriano, Alfonso 2009 season) and they cheer their ass off when it is warranted. (I have never heard anything as loud as when Aramis hit an 8^th inning grand slam against the Phillies in the 08 season.) This argument just does not hold any water.

10. Cub fans believe in the curse of the Billy Goat – Again, I don’t know any Cub fans that actually think a Billy Goat is the reason we haven’t won a World Series. I don’t believe in any curses or hoaxes or any of that other nonsense. What I do think is the media loves to talk up such baloney and that only adds fuel to the fire of the stereotype. I believe in is that it takes a special kind of ballplayer to succeeded playing for the Cubs. For better or worse wearing that uniform carries with it the burden of 101 non championship seasons. You cannot tell me those 2007 and 2008 teams didn’t feel it during the playoffs. It is not a curse, it is pressure. And every year we don’t win it that pressure mounts. You cannot tell me playing for the Cubs is like playing anywhere else. Simply put there are certain personalities that just cannot handle the grind associated with being a Chicago Cub (See, Bradley, Milton.) It has nothing to with a goat. And most Cub fans would tell you the same thing.

(I also wanted to add one thing. I as a Cub fan am confident that, one day they will in my lifetime win the World Series. And when they do, I am going to enjoy it on a level that only other true Cub fans can appreciate. We have suffered for many years. We have had to watch the White Sox and Cardinals win titles in recent years. We have had to take the insults and jabs without having a good retort. All I can say is when that day comes the chickens are going to come home to roost. The celebration that this city will have will make the Bulls, Bears and White Sox celebrations look like a funeral in comparison. When 101 years of frustration is finally released, you are going to need the National Guard to contain it.)

The Retreat

This time of year always seems to re-kindle a memory from my youth. It was 23 years ago this fall when my posse and I all went on a retreat to Michigan.

It was 1986 and I was hanging around with Zar, Doyle and Chris Dusza for most of the summer. They all belonged to the St. Fabian’s Teen Club and urged me to join as well. Now, I had no desire to be involved with anything to do with the Catholic Church but Zar and Doyle assured me that there was nothing religious about it. (For the most part they were right.)

The Teen Club meetings usually consisted of us gathering around and playing cards and trying lamely to hit on the girls that also were members. We usually had one meeting a week. Mike Price (a really good guy) was one of the adult counselors along with Roberta who was the leader of the whole group. (I think that was her real name but we all called her the chameleon because she had absolutely no pigmentation to her skin.) Then there was Brenda (who Dell nicknamed the bitch on a stick.) And lastly was Jerry, who we all loved because he was a Viet Nam vet and would need very little prodding to re-tell some of his old war stories.

We played softball in the summer and went sledding the in winter. For the most part it was a place to have some safe, clean, suburban fun weeknights during the school year. At some point, the idea of a retreat to Michigan was brought up by the chameleon. It seemed there was this campsite-cottage in Michigan that hosted teens that was somehow tied into the Catholic’s.

The only problem is that we would need ten people to sign up in order to go. I think it was $25 bucks a person or something like that. We had a solid nine but had trouble coming up with the tenth. Fate must have played a part because that is how we all became friends with Mike Dell.

Dell had at some point made it to one of the teen club softball games. Dusza didn’t want to go on the retreat as that would take him away from his new girlfriend. (In retrospect, how could you really blame him?) We had 5 girls singed up, and 4 guys. We needed one more or the whole trip would be off.

Zar, Doyle and I started to brainstorm. We started rattling off people that had come to meetings or that we knew who might be coaxed into going. At some point Zar mentioned that he had that “Dell guy” in his Chemistry class. So, we stuck Zar on him. Dell asked if there would be fishing on the trip. Zar, who at this point would have told him there would be PCP, stripers and ice cream if he had asked, assured him there would be. There wasn’t.

But, we really needed that tenth so, with the promise of a two day fishing retreat Dell paid his $25 and agreed to tag along. If memory serves me right, the ten were me, Zar, Doyle, Dell and Jim Lave for the guys. The girls were Nancy, Margaret, Debbie, Sherry Daniels, and Michele Langlois.

We all met at the church on a Friday and were to take off from there. I believe Jerry, Brenda and the chameleon had all volunteered to drive. We crammed like 5 in Jerry’s old Ford Mustang. (The car I was in.) Then we crammed a bunch in Brenda’s van. Like the ass bags we were we stuck Dell all alone on the 2 ½ hour ride with the chameleon.

We got there and separated into our cabins. There was one for the boys and one for the girls. The first thing Doyle and I decided to do was break into the girl’s cabin. Doyle using his Argo ID was able to pick the lock to the door on the cabin just as I believe Langlois dressed only in a towel was getting out of the shower. This would the first of the many shenanigans we would get into.

Since booze was out of the question, we needed to get our fix on something. So, we opted for Jolt cola. For those that don’t know or can’t remember Jolt cola was a soda that had all the sugar with twice the caffeine. It was an 80’s version of Red Bull and tasted like pure gasoline. We all brought some with us and we were wired on it the whole weekend.

We got there kind of late so, there wasn’t much going on the first night. The caretakers stayed in the main building that housed the kitchen and a small recreation room. After our foray into the girl’s cabin our next mission was to break into the main building. We did so, and found a spare dorm room sized fridge that we carried over to our cabin. I mean we needed something to keep all that Jolt cold.

For our next trick we broke into the kitchen. We raided the large fridge of whatever food was in there. After scoring some grub and killing some time in the rec room it had gotten pretty late. But we were not in the least bit tired. Dell had decided at some point to head back to the cabin to crash. Since we were bored and hoped up on sugar we decided it would be a good time to “mummify” Dell.

We took the toilet paper from the cabin bathroom and started to wrap it around him as quietly as we could. I forget how far we got before he woke up to find himself somewhat wrapped in the T.P. There were other adventures that evening but my memory is a little hazy.

Eventually we all hit the wall and passed out for the evening. Day two began with us being awoken by Marty Buchkowski and Paul Kolinek who drove up to “surprise” us. The fact that Paul’s 1970s model Plymouth Volare, with about 10% of his brakes working made it up there is in and of itself a minor miracle.

However, I believe at this point Marty was dating Margaret and I guess the thought of being without her for two days was more then he could bear. Lave, pretty much echoed what we were all thinking by stating, “If they eat one fuckin grape then I am asking them for $25.”

Jerry was also pretty pissed about it, and pretty much told them to get back in the shitbox and drive back home. We then spent the rest of that day fooling around, building a fire and stealing more food out of the caretaker’s kitchen. Eventually night fell on us again. The counselors were all by the fire when a couple of us decided what the campsite really needed was for the trees to all be TP’ed.

We went and found every roll of toilet paper that place had and used it to really decorate the large maple trees at the entrance of the camp site. We eventually ran out and since we were on day two of the Jolt high we didn’t want to come down. So, it was decided that we would walk to the bar down the road and steal some more toilet paper out of the bathroom there.

How we got away from the campsite fire to do this I have no idea. We walked down an unlit two lane road to this seedy ass bar that made the Grove look like Cheers. That was when the debate began about who should go in to grab the Charmin.

In my defense I had just turned 17 and had a huge crush on Nancy. So, when she egged me on to go into the bar I didn’t want to look like a pussy in front of her. I was scared shitless to walk into that bar, but I mustered all the courage I could and made the walk to the entrance and opened the door.

Inside were a couple of bar flies and the local female trailer park talent. Every head turned toward me as I opened the door. I nervously asked if I could use the bathroom and was directed to the back where it was located. In there I found about three rolls of toilet paper. I at this point somehow was able to stuff them under my shirt and down my pants. I was sweating bullets that the bartender would not notice the bulge in my shirt that I didn’t have when I entered. (In hindsight what was the worst he would have done? But, I was 17, it was the 80’s and I grew up the suburbs hence I was nervous.)

I somehow made it out of there with the goods. We then used the tree additional rolls to put a nice finishing touch on the trees at the front of the campsite. Most of us were coming off of our artificial buzz and at long last faced exhaustion as we had not slept a wink that weekend. That is except for Dell. On night two he was ready to paint the town but, the rest of us had hit the wall. How Dell ever talked to any of us again after that weekend is beyond me.

Sunday morning came and we hit a breakfast the caretakers prepared for us and loaded up in the cars. Again, Dell was stuck by himself with the chameleon. In our caffeinated hangover the next morning we forgot about the artistic display we left the night before. As we exited you couldn’t help but see our TP job in all its glory. I wasn’t there but Dell tells the story fondly. The chameleon upon seeing it hit the brakes and brought her car to a complete stop. She looked up and muttered to no one in particular, “And they invited us back.” And promptly drove off.

That weekend was so much fun and brings back a flood of great memories. It also afforded us the opportunity to find out that not only did Dell have his driver’s license but he also had access to his Mom’s 1980 Chevy Impala every night. For the rest of 1986 Dell became our personal chauffer. It began one of the best autumns of my life.

The 2009 Chicago Cubs Grades

Here are my grades for the 2009 Chicago Cubs along with the nicknames I use when I am at the ballgame for each player. I will always take suggestions for players I have not nicknamed as of yet. Also I am sticking to players that are still with the organization. So, you won’t see grades for Kevin Hart or Joey Gathwright.

Mitch Atkins (I) – Atkins only appered in 2 games so it is tough to grade him.

Jeff Baker (JB) (B+) – Baker came over from Colorado and gave the Cubs some nice offense from the 2^nd base position. He hit .329 as a Cub with some occasional pop. I am all for bringing him back next year but, as a bench guy. I think with everyday at bats he gets exposed.

Justin Berg (A) – No one may have noticed since it was late in the season but when Berg got a chance to pitch he was pretty damn good. He pitched 12 innings as a Cub and gave up 1 earned run. I think Berg has a chance next spring to make the team as a reliever.

Andres Blanco (Andy White) (B ) - Blanco is on the field because of his glove. And in that respect you can’t argue with the results as he makes some truly amazing plays in the field. His bat is very Nefi Perez like. Thankfully Lou Pinella is not Dusty Baker and won’t subject us to 400 AB’s from the guy.

Milton Bradley (Uncle Miltie) (D) – For the most part everything that needed to be said about Bradley has been said. Most Cub fans (me included) questioned this move and we sadly were proven right. The god news is Bradley has probably played his last game on the north side.

Esmailin Caridad (A) – This guy has filthy stuff. If he keeps his head on straight and stays healthy he is going to be a big part of the Cubs bullpen. I love that he only walked 3 guys in 19 big league innings. Hopefully Rothschild can work with this kid because I saw a lot of funny swings against him.

Tyler Colvin (I)- Not enough AB’s to fairly grade him. I did like his stroke from the left side. Probably needs another year at Iowa though.

Neal Cotts (F) – If I never see Cotts in a Cub uniform again that will be fine by me. I feel bad for the guy as he blew out his arm at Iowa after he was sent down. Another member of the 2005 White Sox who had a career year that season.

Ryan Dempster (The Dumpster) (B) – After it was all said and done Dempster didn’t have the same type of year he did in ’08. But, he always keeps you in the game and was pretty good after the All Star break. I am also cutting him some slack since he was pitching with a lot on his mind early this year with his daughter’s health issues.

Mike Fontenot (Fonte Yes) (D) – I think we can all agree that he is not an everyday player. I also think Lou didn’t do him any favors by sticking him at 3^rd when Ramirez went out. Still, I think we all hoped for better then a .236 average and only 9 bombs.

Chad Fox (I) - Please Mr. Hendry no more.

Jake (The Snake) Fox (B-) – I think Jake Fox if given an opportunity to play every day could hit 25-30 homers and drive in 100. Hell, he drove in 44 in only 216 AB’s this year. The issue is where do you play him? The Cubs were a little slow in calling him up and I thought he did a credible job at third when they put him out there. If the Cubs went into 09 with Jake as their Right Fielder I would be fine with it.

Kosuke Fukadome – (Fuki) (C+) – Most will look at his average and see that it only went up 2 points. But, he slugged 40 points higher and reached base at a .375 clip. He is also out of position in center. He was much more consistent this year than last and since we are stuck with him, we have to hope he can be even better in 2010.

Sam Fuld (Crash) (B+) Fuld is never going to be an everyday player in the show. However, he would make a great 4^th or 5^th outfielder as he plays a mean D. He also can steal a base for you off the bench. He made the most of his opportunity this year. With our outfield D, we are going to need him.

Tom Gorzelanny (C-) – Gorzelanny is nothing more than a 5^th starter or long reliever. He made a couple of nice starts and a couple that were a disaster. He will probably be in the mix next season for the 5^th starter’s job. He is no Jason Marquis.

John Grabow (B+) – Grabow is a very good LOOGY. He came over and did pretty much what we acquired him to do. He is not sexy but he does his job. I have no problem if he is brought back next year.

Kevin Gregg (KG) (D-) Boy, I wanted to give him an F, but he did have a nice run in late May and early June. That is all I can say positive about the guy. Gregg will go down with Mel Rojas and Doug Jones as some of the worst closers in Cub history. Good bye and take your 89 MPH fastball with no movement with you.

Angel Guzman (Blue Balls) (A-) – I may have to come up with a new nickname for Guzman as he finally at long last lived up to his hype and talent. He was arguably the most consistent reliever we had this year when he was healthy. The 8^th inning may be his role in 2010 and I can live with that.

Rich Harden (Dick Harden) (C) – Harden at times was dominant. Then at other times you would pull your hair out watching him throw 100 pitches by the 4^th inning. He is probably a goner for 2010 and I have no problem with that.

Aaron Heilman (The Gas Can) (C-) Heilman pitched in a lot of garbage time in the 2^nd half and that is a good thing. He is absolutely brutal in tough situations. For some reason Hendry has had a man crush on this guy for a couple of years and had been trying to acquire him for awhile. He finally got his wish with very mediocre results.

Koyie Hill (The Pond) (B) – On the surface Hill’s numbers underwhelm you. But, Hill is everything you would want in a backup catcher. He is defense first and he calls a great game. He carried this team in July when Soto was out and in my mind it was no coincidence that is when the Cubs played their best baseball. Hopefully he is back in 2010.

Micah Hoffpauir (Mike Power) (C) – I think we saw why this guy was in the minors for so long. He definitely has some pop in his bat but he strikes out to much and cannot hit lefties to save his life. He is a decent lefty bat off the bench but, nothing more.

Reed Johnson (RJ) (C+) – Reed kind of had a lost year as he had to make 2 trips to the DL. Still, he always gives you everything he’s got and is a nice 4^th outfielder. He is a free agent at the end of the year, and I wouldn’t mind seeing him back next season.

Derek Lee (D-Lee) (A) – The only reason he doesn’t get an A+ is he got off to a slow start. Otherwise Lee was the balls this year. He carried the team offensively and his glove at first saves a ton of errors every year. I was a little sour on Derek coming into 09 but, he shut me up.

Ted Lilly (Tedly) (A) – If the Cubs had 25 Ted Lilly’s they would be division champs every year. I think you have to see this guy battle every 5^th day to really appreciate what he gives you. He had a much better year than his numbers would indicate. When healthy Lilly was our best pitcher this season. I was lukewarm when they signed him 3 years ago, but he has proven to be one of Hendry’s best.

Carlos Marmol (Los) (C+) – Marmol had a very frustrating year. Most of the time he gets out of the jams he creates, but man does he infuriate you with his walks. Teams hit .170 against him so if he could ever straighten out his mechanics he would be lethal. Maybe he does some work in the winter and figures it out next year.

Sean Marshall (Seanie) (C-) – Marshall seems like a nice enough guy, but let’s face it. He is never going to be a big winner at the Major League level. His numbers as a relief pitcher were much better so he may be better suited for being a middle reliever. Still, he never complains about his role and will always battle out there.

Aaron Miles (Rudy) (F) - If there was a grade lower then F that is what this waste of a roster spot would get. What an abysmal season he had. Stick a fork in this guy, his career is done. Do you realize he slugged .242 this year. That is an embarrassment. The Cubs should pass the hat at the convention and ask for donations to pay off the money he is owed. I would throw in a sawbuck.

David Patton (The General) (D-) –Really it wasn’t Patton’s fault as he just wasn’t ready to pitch at the big league level. I don’t see what the Cubs brass sees in this kid, but who knows. Maybe a year at Iowa helps him and he comes back and can contribute.

Aramis Ramirez (Big Cock) (A-) - At long last most Cub fans finally realized what I have been saying for three years, Ramirez is our best clutch hitter. It took him being out two months for Cub fans to appreciate his value. It still amazes me that you will see more Jeff Samardzjia jerseys in the stands at Wrigley then Ramirez. In just over 300 AB’s he still drove in 65 and hit .317 all with a bum shoulder.

Jeff Samardzjia (Frat Boy) (F) – What does a 1-3 record with a 7.39 ERA get you, in my book a big fat F. I’m sorry but I just don’t see it with this guy. He has one pitch that he can control and big league hitters will murder him. The only reason he gets called up is because of his signing bonus. He is not even close to being a major league ready pitcher. Maybe he will be one day, but I am doubtful. (Must be my anti-Notre Dame bias.)

Bobby Scales (AARP Card) (D) – I love the Scales story as much as the next guy, but from what I saw he belongs where he has been the last 10 years, in the minors. Scales hit a robust .242 with a little pop. He can play a number of positions, but none of them well. He did show some proficiency pinch hitting so maybe he sticks that way.

Alphonso Soriano (Fonzie) (D-) – Talk about a lost year. When you hit .241 and slug only .423 and make nearly 18 million you need to be arrested. Soriano is the most frustrating player on this roster. If he ever learned to just swing at strikes the guy would be a monster. Sadly, he has less plate discipline then Shawn Dunston. He is also the worst defensive left fielder I have seen since my Burbank little league days. Want some more bad news, we have five more years of this.

Geovany Soto (Geo Suave) (D-) – I am willing to give Geo a mulligan for his 2009 season. However, if he does not dedicate himself this off season to a conditioning program and comes in fat again next spring, I am done with him. I am going to go out on a limb and call for a big bounce back year for Geo in 2010. I think he is still a pretty good catcher.

Jeff Stevens (D-) - Stevens had a couple of nice outings when he first got called up and then the roof caved in on him. He was one of the three “prospects” we got for St. Mark De Rosa. He looks like nothing more than a bad version of Michael Wuertz.

So Taguchi (I) – Not really a big enough body of work to evaluate him.

Ryan Theriot (The Riot) (B) – Theriot had another pretty solid campaign. He hit .284 and reached base at a .343 clip. I personally would like both those numbers to be up about 20 points but, you can live with what he gives you. I still don’t think he is a leadoff hitter and I also think he should be playing 2^nd. However, the guy is a winner and you need players like Theriot to do the little things.

Jason Waddell (I) – Does anyone even remember he was on the team?

Randy Wells (A) – Wells came out of nowhere to win 12 games and post a 3.05 era in 27 starts. I don’t think anyone had him on their radar this spring. To me Wells is more of an indictment of Cubs management. You didn’t hear one peep about this guy for the last two years and he comes out and pitches great. On the other had the guys the Cubs tout like Samardzjia, Felix Pie, Corey Paterson and so on always suck.

Carlos Zambrano (Big Z) (C) – I am willing to cut Z some slack as well. Yes, he can get on my nerves with his antics and his propensity to implode in the middle of an inning. Still, before this year he won 14,18,16,14,16 games in his last 5 seasons. And this year despite it all his ERA was still a respectable 3.77. Is he over paid, probably. Is he a number one starter, maybe not. But I will take on my team. I still think he has a huge Cy Young type year in him.

Nick's 2009 Baseball Awards

I know everyone out there is thinking football right about now. But, I am a baseball geek. With that said, here are my post season awards if I had a vote for both leagues.

American League
MVP
Joe Mauer Minnesota – This one should not even be close. Mauer is hitting an out of this world .371 with 28 homers and 92 RBI’s. Mind you he missed a month with an injury to start the season. His OPS is an insane 1,046. He puts up these numbers playing the most demanding position on the field. I have heard a lot of talk about Jeter and Teixeira getting some support. If Jeter wins it then the cops need to be called. His numbers are not even close. I suppose you could make a case for Big Tex, but for my money Mauer had the best year hands down.

Cy Young
Zach Greinke Kansas City – Again, if the writers give this to anyone else, then we need to evaluate how the voting is done. Greinke should not be at fault just because his team happens to suck. He has still managed to win 16 games with an ERA of 2.06. He leads the league in almost every category except wins. Sabathia and Felix Hernandez are his only competition in my book and neither one of them can make a case when you compare the overall numbers.

Rookie of the Year
Andrew Bailey Oakland– This one is very close. To me it is between Bailey and Beckham of the White Sox. It is almost too close to call. Both players have had amazing freshman seasons. Beckham who didn’t get called up until June has driven in 60 runs. Still, I have to give a slot nod to Bailey. This guy has been sick for Oakland. Bailey has an ERA of 1.88. The league is hitting .170 against him. He has 26 saves and 6 more wins for a team that has only won 75 games. Any other year I give it to Beckham but Bailey by a nose should win it.

Manager of the Year
Ron Gardenhire Minnesota – Year in year out no manager gets more out of this talent then Gardenhire. He could win this award every year. How he guided a team with that pitching staff to be in contention for as long as it has is a miracle. Leyland and Ron Washington also deserve some consideration.

National League
MVP
Albert Pujols St. Louis – It pains me to say it, because I still don’t 100% trust this guys numbers but, I guess innocent until proven guilty. Said numbers are mind blowing. He’s hitting .328 with 47 bombs and 134 driven in. He is the most feared hitter in baseball. This probably should be unanimous. Both Hanley Ramirez and Prince Fielder are also having really solid seasons but, this is King Albert’s award yet again.

Cy Young
Chris Carpenter St. Louis – I have tossed and turned over this one for the last couple of weeks. At one point I was certain that Lincecum should get it. But, Carpenter now has a better ERA to go along with a sick 17-4 record. Wainwright is also having a stellar year, but I have to give it to Carpenter.

Rookie of the Year
JA Happ Philadelphia – This is about as close of a vote as you can get. There are a number of viable candidates. You have McCutchen in Pittsburgh, Randy Wells of the Cubs and Rasmus in St. Louis. But, in the end I have to give it to Happ. He is 12-4 with a 2.85 ERA. When Myers went down Happ came out of nowhere to pick up the slack. All those other guys I mentioned are having really good rookie seasons as well. But, without Happ the Phillies are not winning the division.

Manager of the Year
Jim Tracy Colorado – If anyone else gets a first place vote there ought to be an investigation. Tracy took over a squad going nowhere and turned into a playoff team. The job he has done has been miraculous. If I had to give a 2^nd place vote it would go to Bobby Cox who kept the Braves in it until the final week.