Friday, March 31, 2006

So Long, JP Morgan

Sometimes it takes leaving to know how appreciated you are. I have worked at this bank for a little less then three years. I came in everyday and did my job the best I could in the framework that my management provided. I would complain about my clients, but in truth it was the couple of pain in the ass users that would get to me. I mean isn’t that always the case. You never remember the good people. At least, I tended to focus on the few negative experiences and ignore all the good ones.

Well, since word spread that I was leaving I have been beyond flattered with the kind words I have received. Not from my co-workers or management, but from the clients I support. And you know what, that means more to me then anything. It gives me hope and a feeling of accomplishment that my efforts here weren’t wasted. For my own humility I won’t get into specifics about what exactly I was told but the genuine sentiment and feelings of sadness that have come from my clients has been overwhelming.

Like I said this gives me hope. Sometimes I lost focus. In this field you have to like to help people. I sometimes forget what it is like on the other end. How when I go to someone’s desk and fix something how happy it can make them. I just brushed it off as just doing my job. I have come to realize from some of the comments by my users how rare that is. I have been told stories of how bad their service was before I got there and so on. All of which while giving me a big head also saddened me.

Sure, I am in a technology field but if you don’t like people then go become a programmer. My first priority has always been my clients. Making them happy makes me happy. Helping someone out and fixing something for them, gives me joy. That can get lost in the sniping and harshness I get from the few bad apples out there.

So, the fact that the current management at the bank failed to see my contributions no longer saddens me. I realize that politics is not my strong point and it seems that the only way to get ahead in corporate America is kiss ass and play the game. Simply going out there and doing a great job no longer matters. You have to let your management know you are doing a good job. You have to a self-promoter in this field and well, I just can’t do that. This is why it is probably a good thing that I am going to a smaller company with a boss I know and who isn’t lazy.

I know that if I go out and do a bang up job at my new company my boss will recognize it like he did when I was at Harris. It isn’t about money or a 401k plan. To me being able to wake up in the morning and go to a place where not only my clients realize my value but my management does as well. So, while I am sad to be leaving some good people and teammates, I am look forward to forming new bonds with a new set of co-workers and users.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Nick's Butterfly Effect

It is funny how one little event in seventh grade has led me to have the many friends that I have today. Jocelyn often asks me how I know this person or that person. So, for her benefit I am going to try to construct a family tree of my friends. I consider myself lucky in that I have had the same basic core of friends for over fifteen years and in some cases over twenty. So, here we go and I should mention that this is all from the top of my head.

In Seventh grade social studies class, my desk sat across from Mike Doyle. If our assigned seating were off by one space or one less student I would not have the friends that I have today. I became pals with Doyle by talking about the Cubs and we hung out a lot in 7th grade. In 8th grade we kind of lost touch and I started hanging out with a different group.

Then during my junior year of high school we ran into each other and we re-kindled our friendship from 7th grade. Doyle was hanging out with Jon Zaraycki, which meant I was hanging out with Zar. Zar and Doyle then talked me into joining the St. Fabian’s teen club. I meet a lot of people through the teen club and one of them was Mike Dell. Dell had access to his mom’s Chevy Impala and thus we now had a set of wheels.

So, for a while it was the four of us. Then Homecoming came around. Dell wasn’t going to go and Zar and I needed a ride. Zar had been friends with Mike Connors in grammar school and he was now in our gym class. Chuck, as he would become knows as, (with so many guys named Mike we had to start coming up with nicknames. Chuck’s last name being Connors we branded him Chuck after Chuck Connors the rifleman.) offered to give us a lift. Thus we now had another set of wheels and another person in our ever-growing posse. Zar had another friend he used to hang around with who lived by his house, John Rosier. Rose, soon was in a member of our group as well.

Eventually Dell got a job at Kmart. So, he then got me a job there as well. There I meet and started to hang around with Wally Phelps, Chris Hunger and Rob McCartney. By becoming friends with them I got introduced to Mike Rummery, his brother Art, Don Karnowski, Kevin Collins, Ronnie Pavlick, Timmy Moore, and Tony Dobrez. All of whom are now major parts of our click.

Eventually, we all started to hang out with this girl at Kmart named Lydia. Through Lydia we became friends with her boyfriend Keith. Through Keith we met his future roommates Steve and Dave. Dave, Steve, and Keith all rented this house on 95th street in Oak Lawn that has had one of our friends living in it since 1994 and Don still lives there.

Eventually most of my posse and I went to the higher learning center known as Moraine Valley. My brother also went there and frequently I would join him for lunch in the student center. There we were introduced to Kevin Conway. Con’s had a bunch of friends who eventually made their way into our circle, including Mike Mulcahy, Mike Shields, Ed Beazley, and Chris Ridgeway. My brother also introduced Brian Lannon and Brian Janey into our circle.

That is the basic core of my personal network of friends. Many others have come and gone. And there are still others that I didn’t include because, I don’t want this blog to become a monster. Still there are many things that would have never happened if I don’t sit next to Mike Doyle. For example:

Wally’s sister Dorothy eventually married John Rosier. If I don’t become friends with Wally, he never meets Rosier and neither does his sister.

Chuck never meets his wife Melissa. They met at K mart. I got Chuck the job at the Mart and Dell got me the job. If Dell doesn’t work there neither do I and neither does Chuck.

Dell never meets Mary, his wife. I got Dell a job at IRI, which is where Dell and Mary meet.

If I never meet Wally, he never meets Kevin Conway. If they never meet, then Con’s has no way of meeting Don and Rosier who later form CD’s Nuts (a one-time union of my musical friends) along with Mike Mulcahy and Pete Strustma.

Zar never meets Hunger, who later becomes his college roommate at Lewis University. It is through Chris that Zar meets Jen, his now wife.

There are so many scenarios I could recite like that. It is interesting to me to think about how one turn of events in 1981 could have such a profound effect on my life. I mean I could back even further. If my Mom never decides to move out of Burbank, I don’t go to Wilkins and I don’t meet Doyle. I often wonder how would my life be different if I had made different decisions in my life. In looking back at it I consider myself very fortunate to have glommed onto such a good and dedicated group of friends.

Monday, March 27, 2006

I Guess I Beleive In Miracles

As a fan of College basketball I must say this has been the most exciting tournament in some time. From the first round on, upsets and last second shots have dominated this tourney. All of this has led me to my point that the college game is so much better then the pros.

Anyone outside of the state of Connecticut that wasn’t rooting for George Mason yesterday should get a heart transplant immediately. Here was the ultimate underdog taking on the big mad UCONN Huskies. When the tournament started, Mason was a 150-1 bet to win it all. Most people (myself included) didn’t have them winning one game, let alone beating three large conference powers to get to the final four.

But, that is just what they did. Yesterday’s game was a prime example of just what makes sports great. The highs and the lows and the impossible becoming reality. It was enough to turn this self-proclaimed cynic, into a child like fan again, rooting for an underdog. I mean all logic and common sense would tell you that George Mason had no chance of beating the Huskies. But, that is why they play the game. The old adage on any day, one team can beat another is so true and I was reminded of that again yesterday.

So, for all you reality show, American Idol watching people out there, I ask you to watch what is real drama. Only in sports can you have the upsets and non-scripted drama that we had yesterday. I am sorry watching Simon metrosexually, lambaste a singer who has 10x the voice he has is not my idea of entertainment. I mean, even my non-sports loving wife got swept up in the George Mason cinderalla story yesterday.

So, in honor of that un-real upset, here is my top 10 list of the greatest upsets in my lifetime before yesterday. I am still not sure where that game ranks on my list. I guess time will give it some perspective.

10. College Football, 2002 Ohio State over Miami – As soon as the bowl games were announced and this game was setup no one gave Ohio State a chance to beat Miami of Florida. The Canes were the defending champs and had not lost a game in three years. Ohio State had a nice team that had gone undefeated but was looked at as not being in the same class as Miami. Well, in a thriller of a game the Buckeye’s pulled off the miracle in double overtime knocking off the U.

9. College Basketball, 1988, Kansas over Oklahoma – Oklahoma on paper was a loaded team. They had Stacey King and Mookie Blaylock. They were a one seed and looked unbeatable going into the championship game against a team they had handily beaten twice that season. Kansas had Danny Manning and a bunch of scrappy kids who didn’t know they were supposed to lose. Manning, had to play the game of his life to beat Oklahoma and he did just that in leading the Jayhawks to the title.

8. College Basketball, 1991 Duke over UNLV – UNLV was the unbeaten defending champ. They had four future NBA players starting. They didn’t just beat teams they embarrassed them. The year before UNLV had beaten Duke by 30 in the championship game. Here in the Final four matchup Duke with Bobby Hurley and Christian Laettner took control of the game, with ball control and un-real defense. UNLV was slowed down and Coach K. devised the game plan of his life to stop this team. Duke would go on to win it all in an improbable season.

7. Pro Football 2001 New England over St. Louis – The Ram’s were heavy favorites to take the championship over what was perceived to be an over-achieving Patriot team. The Ram’s were the so-called greatest show on turf and on paper was far superior to New England. But, New England played great defense and Tom Brady led a miraculous last-second drive to setup the game winning filed goal.

6. Baseball 1990 Cincinnati over Oakland – On paper it was a rout. Oakland had the best team in baseball by far. McGuire, Canseco, Stewart, Welch, Eckersly, the A’s were loaded. The Reds had the nasty boy bullpen and a nice team but looked to be over-matched in a best of seven series. The Reds went out and swept the A’s in what I consider one of the biggest choke jobs in baseball history.

5. Baseball 1988 Los Angeles over Oakland – The A’s again were the victims to the ultimate baseball Cinderella. Not only were the A’s much superior on paper but also the Dodgers were banged up with a number of guys unable to play. The series will always be remembered for Gibson’s homer off the Eck in game one. I’m telling you right now if the A’s win that game they sweep the series. However, propelled by Gibson and Hershiser’s pitching L.A. took the series in 5.

4. College Basketball 1983 N.C. St. over Houston – There was no way the Wolfpack had a chance in this one. Houston was bigger, faster, deeper and just plain better. Houston had two future NBA hall of famers in Drexlor and Olajuwon while all NC St. had was a bunch of scrappers. Still, Houston missed some crucial foul shots and NC St. won it at the buzzer on one of the most memorable shots in basketball history.

3. College Basketball 1985 Villanova over Georgetown – The Hoya’s were the biggest and badest team I had ever seen. No one could touch them. For Villanova to even be in the game they would have to be perfect and well they were. The Wildcats missed one shot the entire second half and came up with the ultimate David vs. Goliath slaying in college basketball. Patrick Ewing still is wondering just how they lost that game.

2. Boxing 1990 Douglas over Tyson – When a friend told me that Tyson had been knocked out I thought he was full of shit. There was no way Iron Mike was ever going to lose. Let alone to Buster Douglas. But, sure as shit that is what happened. At the time Tyson was a monster. He was unbeatable. When he knocked out Spinks in the first round, I remember thinking that he was going to go down as the greatest ever. Better, then Louis, Marciano, and Ali. Then in Japan on that unforgettable night, Douglas shocked the world and knocked Tyson right in jaw and Tyson was never the same again.

1. Olympic Hockey 1980 USA over USSR – To this day this has to be the greatest accomplishment in sports history. No one and I mean no one, thought the US had a snowball chance in hell of beating the Russians. Russia was so far above and beyond us in Hockey it was like asking a featherweight to fight a heavyweight. Still, somehow a bunch of college kids took on the big bad Russians and beat them. A game that was about much more then just sports. I get chills just thinking about Al Michaels call at the end of the game. Just priceless.

Friday, March 24, 2006

A No Vote

In this past Tuesdays primary I did something that I had never done before. I voted against a school referendum. When it comes to schools I always vote to give them more money. However, this situation was different. Moraine Valley Community College, a school that I attended at one time was asking for voters to approve a $60 a year hike in their property taxes to pay for some improvements. As I said above, as much as it pained me I had to vote no.

Now, I usually am all for schools getting more money. As a matter of fact last year I voted to give the elementary school in my district some more money so they wouldn’t have to dump art and music class. I realize that I don’t have kids but I feel that I am getting something for my money. These are the kids that I am going to be depending on when I get older. I want them to have the best education possible because when I get old I don’t want a bunch of morons walking around to take care of my ass. I want to live in an area where kids are learning and therefore will give back to the community by becoming doctor’s, nurses, or lawyers.

So, in that vein I have always said yes to give money to schools. However, when Moraine asked for more money I was taken aback. Moraine had just spent all this money to build a new gym, then a new football field, their computer lab is state of the art and they have this humongous theatre on campus. Also, they just spent all this money building a new entrance just so they could change their address.

All of this made me think to myself, maybe if you would have spent the money you had a little wiser you wouldn’t be in this pickle. Moraine wants to build a new student center and they want to add more teachers and build on to an existing building so that they can add more classrooms. Those are all fine ideas and I am all for them, but why didn’t the board of trustees spend the money they had on that instead of a new entrance?

So, I thought it over and I came to the conclusion that I could not in good faith give that school more money. I mean it is a college and kids choose to go there. Why not raise the tuition, which is still pretty reasonable, to get the funds? Well, I guess most people disagreed with me because the referendum barely passed.

With all that said, I am not pissed that it passed. Sixty bucks a year is not going to kill me. I don’t want this to come off as some rant that turns me into a cold hearted Republican that has a worldview that extends as far as their own wallet. I am still a liberal Democrat and I always will be. I just want to make sure that if I vote to give a school some money that they spend it wisely. There needs to be some fiscal responsibility on the part of said school. I mean did Moraine really need to build a new football field?

In the future I doubt very much that I will vote against a school referendum. For the most part schools need the money and I truly believe in extra-curricular actives like sports and drama being offered in school. If that takes a little out of my pocketbook, it doesn’t bother me. I am all for kids having a choice. With that said, I am going to remember this. Moraine Valley had better put this new money to good use. If I see that they continue to waste it by building a new golf range or something of the effect then I will be very pissed.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

One More Bitch

Cell Phones At Restaurants – OK, I admit that bitching about cell phones has become easy but as bad as normal cell phone bores are, the pricks who are out to dinner only to get on the phone to gab are beyond rude. Let me get this straight. You go out and go to a restaurant with a friend or lover and instead of giving them your undivided attention instead you answer your phone to chitchat about nonsense, thus leaving your dinner companion to look around the restaurant or re-read the dinner specials as you ignore them. Just bad manners, plain and simple.

ESPN’s Website – OK, I am a sports junkie. I admit it. So when I want to get information about sports, I search the web looking for interesting articles and what not. Well, ESPN the self-proclaimed sports leader makes you buy a years subscription to get most of the good data off their web site. If you want to read a column you have to pay the price. This is on top of all the annoying pop-up ads you have to navigate through just to get to their site. Doesn’t ESPN have enough money? Well, I am not paying and this has forced me onto cbs.sportsline.com, which is a nice site and is free.

Home Schooling – I know, all the pro arguments already, so please spare me. While, I admit that kids might get a fine education at home the social skills they are not learning can be fatal. Social skills and the ability to be to interact with different people who may have different views are crucial to an adolescent’s devlopment. By home schooling a parent is robbing a child of the high school experience and thus robbing them of learning to cope with people of the opposite sex, different races and different religious beliefs. This can cause culture shock once a child enters college or the real world.

“Born Again” Idiots – This is simply replacing one addiction for another. First off, you can only be born once. If you want to go pray to some imaginary tooth fairy I really don’t care. But getting up in my face with it is where I draw the line. These born again zealots take their God and their religion way to seriously. I have always felt that religion should be a private matter. The sad thing is many times these born again assholes are people who have severely fucked up with booze, drugs, porn, or something else and feel that by turning their addiction to God they are saving themselves. I don’t know about you but a drunken, smack addict, with a constant hard on is much more enjoyable to be around then Jerry Falwell.

USA Network – You know I am a simple man and I live by certain rules. One of them is that if you are going to show tittie movies, you have to actually show tits. If you happen to adhere to the FCC guidelines and regulations then well, you cannot show these movies on your station, because no one is watching said movies for the plot. So, therefore I propose that USA network must stop showing Road Trip and the American Pie trilogy because all anyone watches those movies for is the occasional flash of breasts and if you can’t show that what is the point.

Athletes Who Hide Behind Their Kids – Dusty Backer and Barry Bonds are two of the biggest offenders of this. Any time the Cubs have a tough game there is Dusty in the interview room with his young son. The feeling being that he knows he won’t have to face the tough questions from the media because reporters are less likely to go after him in the presence of his child. All of this is cowardness and makes me ill. Hiding behind a child because you aren’t man enough to face up to your fuck-ups is the ultimate in chicken shit, nonsense. Tell you what, grow some balls and be a man for fuck’s sake.

Mike North – For those who don’t know this loud mouth racist pig of a human, he has a morning sports show on the radio here in Chicago. I would rather listen to a jackhammer then this tool. The self-proclaimed former hot dog vender who never graduated high school spews his knee jerk reactions onto the drooling buffoons who listen to his abortion of a show. He is a know-it-all idiot who can’t construct one listenable sentence together. Logic goes out the window for North and I really believe you lose IQ points when listening.

Hand Dryers – All I want to do after I take a leak at a restaurant or store is to wash my hands and dry them properly. I don't want to have to sit there for five minutes rubbing my hands below a hand dryer that doesn’t even get my hands dry. I usually want to get out of that bathroom as soon as possible because usually public restrooms have a very pungent and distinct smell. And don’t give me that environmental bullshit. You can buy biodegradable paper towels so, please stop being cheap and start stocking some Bounty in the bathrooms of America.

Workplace Forced Participation Events – OK, I am all for building teamwork and having after work parties and what not. What I am against is when it is mandatory to participate. When you do that, what you are basically doing is removing any value that event would have had. Buy making participation at the employees discretion, it places the onus on that person. If they go to the company candlelight bowl, without being forced to I can guarantee that they will have more fun. If you are forced to do something, inevitably one will no longer look on it as fun and will look at it as an extension of their job. Trust me I think after work team building events are beneficial. However, management needs to make sure to make participation optional so that the event has a chance at succeeding.

Monday, March 20, 2006

A New J-O-B

About a month and a half ago I wrote about how I had come to my breaking point with the bank. After the latest round of layoffs my job has become a constant series of putting out fires all day. I don’t have the luxury to provide as good of service as I did in the past because of this. So, I mentioned in that post that I was going to begin the long and timely search of finding a new job.

I started in the usual places. I went to all the popular websites and started shooting off my resume and applying for the positions that met my criteria. As I was in the middle of my job search, I caught a lucky break. I was taking the train home and my old boss from Harris Bank brother was sitting across from me. I started talking to him and he mentioned my old boss, Frank was the IT Director for a company called TQ3 Navigant and that he might need somebody. He gave me his number and I called him the following day.

I talked with Frank and found out that he had an opening. So, I then went in and had an interview. Now, since I knew Frank it was more of an informational talk. I had as many or more questions for him about this company then he had for me. So, after talking with him I let him know that if he made me an offer in my salary range that I would probably take it.

A week or so went by and I went in again to fill out an application so a formal offer could be made. Another week or so went by before Frank called me with his offer. I won’t go into specifics but the money was in the ballpark and the perks were good enough to lure me away. I accepted his offer and I gave my notice here at the bank. I start there on April 10.

So, this may mean that this old blog site here may not be as updated as much for a little while. In learning a new company’s way of doing things, I will most likely take a lot of my free time that I use to write my site of vanity. Still, I am pretty psyched to be getting paroled and I look forward to working with Frank, who I have worked with in the past and I know will always be fair and easy to work with.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Getting Bossed Around

I have been in IT for a long time now and I have had a lot of bosses, most of them bad. Sure there have been a few good ones in there but this industry no one seems to know how to mange. So here is a summary of every manager I have had in this field. I am only using first names for this for obvious reasons. I am also limiting this to direct reports becuase we all know that in todays corporate enviroment you can't have enough middle management.

Bob, IRI – My first boss was Bob. He hired me at IRI so I have him to blame for my career. Bob was 50ish and was a severe alcoholic. He kept a bottle of Jim Beam in his desk and each day he went to a dive bar called Apple’s for lunch where he would down a bunch of Old Style. Having Bob for a boss was good and bad. On the one hand I could pretty much come and go as I pleased and Bob would have no idea what was what. However, I also had no direction and my group was left to twist in the wind since we had virtually no leader. Eventually Bob was fired due mainly to his drinking.

Lorene, IRI – From Bob I was moved onto Lorene’s team. Now I worked with her son and we were friendly and that may have helped in her perception of me. I personally loved working for her. Lorene was as fair as they come. If you did a good job she left you alone. If you were a slacker she would ride you and micro mange you to tears. A lot of people couldn’t stand working for her, but she was always fair with me and I never had an issue with her. She backed me with the clients and if all managers were like her I would have a much better view on this field. Sadly, Lorene left IRI and I was to be moved to another boss.

Carey, IRI – Carey was a coke fiend and a joke. At first I liked the guy, as he seemed so wired all the time that he basically left me alone. Then slowly he changed. I think he was trying to clean up his act so he took this as a sign to become a strict manager. Unfortunately, he had no idea what was going on and didn’t have any clue on how to manage in the service field. Carey was a spineless worm who would do anything to make himself look good at the cost of others. He was one of the reasons I left IRI.

John, VanKampen – When I left IRI and started consulting my first gig was at Vankampen. There I was managed by a techno geek named John. He was a quiet soft-spoken guy. There was a sadness about him and I would later come to find out he was going through a divorce as his wife had left him for another man. His head was somewhere else during my entire three-month tenure. Thus he left his underlings to run things, which was a disaster. I can’t say he was a bad guy and I admit I caught him at a bad time but as a manager he was quite incompetent.

Austin, Monsanto – When I moved to Monsanto I was working under Austin, who was to quote Office Space, “A no talent ass clown.” He might be the worst manager I’ve ever worked for. He didn’t talk much and when he did he grunted. He was a womanizer and every woman he hired he either had slept with or was trying to. Therefore, he didn’t even look at the men in his group. All of his efforts were directed at getting laid and he promoted only women. This one bimbo came in and he actually made me take her technical test so he could validate her hiring. A complete prick and I hope is cleaning elephant shit out of some cage at a zoo.

Kim, Monsanto – I didn’t work for her long but in the short time that I did I didn’t find her to be all that competent. She played favorites and was never in the office. She was inserted when IBM took over at Monsanto and was a bit of a company woman. I only worked for her for three months so as I said it was hard to give her a real assessment.

Jackie, Harris Bank – My first boss at Harris was Jackie. She was in her late 30’s to early 40’s and was a complete mess. I was in there, as a consultant and I survived which was no small miracle. She went through consultants like water. She was going through a divorce when I first got hired and was kind of in a men suck mood. She was clueless as to what was going on and was about as effective as a paper towel would be soaking up Niagara Falls. Still, she seemed to like me and when the Y2K project for which I was hired on got going she partnered me up with Joyce which went a long way to us eventually getting married so I guess I owe her something.

Frank, Harris Bank – Just a great guy. One of the best, if not the best boss I’ve ever had. He was fair and let you do your thing without much interference. He pushed for me to get hired and ended my consulting days. To this day I owe this guy a great debt of gratitude. Sadly, the Bank really screwed him and he eventually got so pissed that he just up and quit. No notice, nothing. I only worked for Frank for about seven months but they were a glorious seven months.

Elizabeth, Harris Bank – After Frank left I got put in this woman Liz’s group. It was like going from heaven to hell. She was condescending, belittling and arrogant. What she had to be arrogant about I have no idea, but she was. Everybody on our team hated her. She had no people skills and wasn’t very good technically either. I don’t know who she had pictures of to get her job but it must have been someone higher up. Thankfully, I didn’t work for her for very long as she got another position soon after taking over our team.

Peggy, Harris Bank – After Liz left we were put under this lady Peggy’s control. In the four months I worked for her I didn’t have one direct conversation with her. She was managing another team and since Liz left so abruptly they had no idea who should replace her. So, we were basically managing ourselves, which actually worked out. I have no opinion of Peggy what so ever other then she did leave us alone to do our job.

Susana, Harris Bank – Eventually I was put under Susana’s control. Now, I got along with her just fine and she really liked me. However, she was really tough on the women of the group. It is funny, every man in our group loved her and all the women hated her. I think she was like Austin at Monsanto but with men not women in playing favorites. I worked for her for a little over a year and a half and in that time I had no complaints. But, if I had breasts there may have been some problems.

Tim, Harris Bank – Susana took another spot in the bank and I was put on Tim’s team. Tim was Frank’s brother and was equally as good of a boss as one could ask for. I worked for Tim for rest of my tenure at Harris. He was honest, would back you, and I know my entire team loved working for him. I was found of saying at the time that Tim was the best boss I had ever had in my entire career and he was with his brother right behind him. He was not the reason I left the bank. Sadly once we were outsourced he was talking of leaving, as we were all unhappy. He was even so kind as to write me a letter of recommendation when he knew I was interviewing. Just a great boss.

Mike, Bank One – When I got hired at the bank, I was hired on to Mike’s team. HE brought me into the bank, so I can blame him. Honestly, I only worked for the guy for two months and he seemed like a nice enough guy. He was sarcastic as hell, which fit my sense of humor so, in the short time I worked for him I had no complaints.

Hutch, Bank One – Hutch was a good leader but had some issues. On the one hand he would go to bat for his team like no one I have ever seen before. He had a rough and kind of jock mentality when it came to managing, which rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. Still, he showed a lot of confidence in me early on and he stayed out of my hair and let me do my job. For that I can’t say anything bad about the guy.

Tiffany, Bank One – Then there was Tiffany. A two-faced liar if there ever was one. A Texas imported joke of a manager. I have posted how she had burned me so I won’t go into the details. She was as ineffective of a boss as I have ever had. She basically let her underlings run things while she argued with her daughter on the phone all day. That was unless she was doing a crossword puzzle. I worked for her for a little over a year and it was a long year.

Tom, JPM Chase – Tom is my current boss and he is really cool. He doesn’t over-manage and doesn’t call excessive meetings. He has been at the bank over 20 years and really knows the environment and how to handle people. A great communicator and effective leader. Gallop was hired to do a survey of the Bank’s managers and Tom had the highest scores ever in the history of this particular Gallop pole. That should say it all about what a good boss Tom is.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Wait TIll Next Year Rant Comes Early

Another spring is upon us. In the baseball world, the saying goes that spring breeds optimism. That is unless you are a Cubs fan, of which sadly I am. You see there is no hope for us this year and it doesn’t take Nostradamus to see this team is going to crash and burn.

They say that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it. For three years now, all we have heard about is Wood and Prior. Well, it has been seen time and again that these guys cannot be trusted. Wood, with his unorthodox delivery, which he refuses to change, has had more injuries then Jackie Chan. In 1998 he burst onto the scene with a twenty-strikeout game to fan the flames of hope in Cub nation. Well, in the eight years that have taken place since then Wood has 70 career wins. That is less then ten a year.

Sure he has shown signs of brilliance and dominance. However, he has never won more then 14 games in any season. To think Greg Maddux went sixteen consecutive years winning fifteen or more games. And Maddux didn’t have an over-powering fastball. He knew how to pitch which sadly Wood will never learn. He has shown that he is as hard headed as they come and refuses to change a thing. He keeps throwing that fastball as hard as he can. So, as we wait for Wood to again rehab an aching right arm we know how this will end.

Wood, will rehab and start some games in May. Then sometime in July he will be warming up when he will feel a twinge in his elbow, shoulder, forearm, or eyebrow and he will be on the D.L. again. Still, Baker, Hendry and the rest of Cubdom keeps believing in the myth of that kid that struck out twenty during the Clinton administration. It is telling that Kerry Wood is the only member of that 98 team still with the Cubs.

As for Prior it is almost the same sad story. He burst onto the scene in 2002 as a twenty-two year old rookie. Then in 2003 he went 18-6 with a 2.43 ERA. The sky was the limit. However, since then it has been one injury after another. Yes, a lot of them have been of the freakish nature but he keeps getting hurt. This spring Prior had yet to pitch in cactus league game and the Cubs were nursing him along. All along the Cubs kept insisting that he wasn’t hurt. Then word came yesterday that he was experiencing shoulder pain and was shut down. Now, the worst is feared, that he has a tear, which would mean he is out for the year.

It seems that every spring it is the same old story with this guy. We keep babying him and every time he threw a pitch every Cub fan held their breath. Even when we do nurse him back to health he has not been that dominant kid we once saw. Since that magical 2003 season Prior has gone 17-11 and had an ERA of 3.80. Not bad, but not exactly Tom Seaver numbers.

So, just like the last two years Cub management has tied their hopes on the right arms of these two talented but brittle young men. All off-season I as many Cub fans were screaming for them to sign another starter as an insurance policy. When they finally did they signed Wade Miller who you guessed it was coming off an arm surgery. The Cubs flirted with signing Furcal and trading for Tejada and instead gave us Jacque Jones who hit .249 last year and struck out 120 times. Only at Clark and Addison could that kind of a season be rewarded with a three-year deal worth fifteen million.

So forgive me if I am not full of optimism with the upcoming season. On top of everything I already said, I didn’t even get into my annual Dusty Baker rant. I guarantee he will find a way to get Nefi Perez into the lineup at the cost of Cedeno. The Cubs have handed this kid the shortstop position and they need to exhibit patience. If he gets off to a slow start Dusty cannot shake his confidence by throwing the weak hitting Perez out there. However, I have no faith in Baker to do the right thing. He has been consistently out-managed in big games and he knows less about pitching then any manager I have ever scene don the blue pinstripes and that includes the clueless Don Bayor. Maybe I am wrong and maybe the Cubs will shock me and contend all year. I would love to be wrong and that is one meal of crow I would love to eat. However, if the last 95 years are any indicator I am probably right in my assessment.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Brand Monogamy

It is funny how one can get into a rut when purchasing certain products. Companies spend millions on advertising to get a certain product in your head. I guess sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. There are certain items that I will always buy and then there are other things were I could give a shit. I guess everyone is different but here are the products that I buy every time. I never waver and am very brand loyal.

Deodorant - Speed Stick by Mennon - I have been using this since my early teens. I am not sure why or how I started using it. I still use the original green scent. A couple of times in my early teens I may have tried different brands but for as long as I can remember I have been a Speed Stick man.

Tooth Paste - Colgate Total - Toothpaste on the other hand I have changed a lot over the years. I used to use Aim for the longest time. Then all of the sudden it seemed like Aim was no longer available. So, I switched to Crest. I used Crest for a long time and then my dentist recommended Colgate Total because it has an ingredient that fights gingivitis. So for the past two years I have been using Colgate Total, which works because Joyce likes it as well.

Shampoo - Pert Plus – Another product that I have been using since the 80’s. I simply use Pert because it is a shampoo plus conditioner in one. Also, it is pretty reasonable and lets face it, it is a man shampoo. I don’t know any women that like Pert but I swear by it and have really never used anything else.

Shaving Cream - Edge Gel – Once again a product I have been using forever. I use the orange-capped one, and I cannot even tell you what scent or protection it provides. All I know is that it has aloe in it, which is good when shaving. At one point I wanted to get the old school brush and cup to shave with and one day I may indeed do that. Until then I will keep using the Edge Gel.

Razor - Schick Xtreme III – I bought a Schick razor awhile back and have been buying the refills for a couple of years. However, since Schick has introduced its quarto razor I may be forced to change in the near future. I am having a harder and harder time to find the Xtreme III blades. Why I picked this particular brand I have no idea. It must have been on sale when I bought it.

Popcorn - Orville Redenbacher Natural Light – I like plain popcorn. No, butter, salt, kettle, or cinnamon. Call me boring and plain but that is how I like it. I find that Redenbacher’s pops the best and tastes the best. I used to pop it myself but it is a pain in the ass. When I found the natural light flavor my quest was over and I have been eating it for a couple of years now.

Potato Chip’s – Jay’s – I wrote a diatribe last year about how I enjoy Jay’s chips and will never buy a Frito Lay product. Jay’s simply makes a better tasting and firmer chip. The BBQ is a favorite but the plain are also very good. I’ve been a Jay’s man for years and don’t see me changing anytime soon.

Jean’s – Levi’s – I have been a Levi’s man for a while. I tried other jeans in my life but it just seems that Levi’s fit me the best and hold up over time. Sure, sometimes they are a little more expensive then say a pair of Wrangler’s or Lee’s but Levi’s can take a lot of wear and tear and still hold up.


Recreational Shoe’s – Airwalk’s – I am a man who believes in comfort before looks. (As anyone that has seen my flannel-wearing ass can attest to) With work shoes I am a bit of a whore. I don’t really care which brand as long as they are comfortable. However, with my everyday shoe’s Airwalk’s have been my shoe of choice for a while. I used to be a Van’s guy but I just find that Airwalk’s are a little more comfortable. I got a pair of Chuck T’s for Christmas so maybe I will go back to Converse one day but for now I am a an Airwalk man.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Netflix Fun Continues

Here is a brief summary of the last five DVD’s I got from Netflix.

The Life and Times of Harvey Milk – After I went to San Francisco and heard about the assassination of Milk and Moscone I wanted to find out more about it. That is how I stumbled upon this DVD. This is great look at what happened. It was eerie to know that Milk knew that he was going to be killed because of who he was. He was the first openly gay man to win an election. It is sad to see just how little has changed in the political landscape in the twenty-five years since his death.

The Up Series – This is a fascinating look at a group of seven-year-old kids. The original film was shot in 1963 and every seven years the filmmaker has caught up with those kids to see how their lives have turned out. You have kids from every economical class in England and from a sociological perspective this is a very interesting series to watch.

Eulogy – I don’t know what made me rent this turkey. A lot of people in netflix rated this movie three or four stars and I don’t understand why. A ridicules movie that tries to hard to be funny and poignant and doesn’t succeed at either. It is about a father who dies and the “dysfunctional” family comes together to mourn him. Recycled story line with nothing new to say.

House of D – I was an X-Files fan. So, because of that I was a David Duchonvy fan as well. His movie career has been spotty to say the least so when I heard that he wrote and directed this movie I put it in my queue. The first three quarters of this film was very enjoyable. However, the ending was so maudlin and hokey that it lost all credibility with me. Still, it is an interesting enough movie that I’d give a sideways thumb.

Over the Edge – I rented this late 1970’s look at adolescence because it was Matt Dillon’s first film and the summary seemed to be interesting. While the film is very dated it still holds some of its original message. Dillon is not the star of this one so, don’t expect to see a lot of him in the movie. However, if you want to see a film about why you should never raise a family in a planned community this is it.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Bad Side Of Technology

I start off a lot of my posts one way and then during the course of writing it, I start to take the other side. I guess I want to look at both points of an argument to make sure that I am taking the right position that lies within my personal beliefs. Maybe I am a bit of an enigma in that I am hard to figure out. I mean I hate a lot of things associated with technology and yet I work in a technological field. This causes me to have internal struggles each and every day at work.

The other day I was at work and a ticket came in for a guy I support. It seems his car was broken into and they stole his Blackberry. For those not in the know, a blackberry is a wireless device that is a cell phone, organizer, calculator, and phone book. It also has the ability to receive e-mails and you can surf certain web pages on it. Now, I don’t have nor do I want one. But, from what I can tell once you have one, you can’t live without it.

This must be the case because this guy went absolutely ape-shit over it getting stolen. Now, he must think I can just shit them out because he didn’t seem to understand the fact that he was going to have to order a new one. He was demanding that he couldn’t function without it and that he was losing valuable time and money with his inability to check his e-mail while taking a shit.

All of this made me wonder just what the fuck did this guy did before he had a blackberry? I mean if you are that dependent on this belt-buckle leash then there is a problem. As I said I am not against all technology out of hand. I just wonder sometimes how anything ever got done in the 70’s with nothing more then a telephone and a legal pad? Did people actually answer the phone before caller ID and voice mail?

I believe it is more of a symptom of a bigger issue and that is that we have become to reachable. Before, blackberries, cell phones, e-mail and pagers the world seemed happy enough. I mean people actually had to interact with each other in person. Now, I know that all of those devices do a lot of good. I mean I would not want Joyce to leave the house without a cell phone for fear of her getting lost or if the car broke down she would have no way of getting a hold of me. On the other hand, we have overused these devices.

There is nothing worse then walking down the street and you see some yahoo yammering away to seemingly himself. You get closer to him and you see he has that annoying hands-free device stuck to his ear. I guess in this age of mulit-tasking where you can’t just be doing one thing at a time, you have to have your attention split among various activities. My view of a cell phone is that it is for informational calls only. Other then the who, what, where, when, why, and how calls cell phones should not be used.

I know I am going to get shit for that sentiment. I mean I am not a phone guy to begin with. I never have been one to talk on the phone for extended periods of time. If I want to talk to you I would much rather have a conversation face to face. Body language and eye contact cannot be maintained or judged over the phone. You cannot underestimate how important those factors can be when having a conversation.

So, as we become more “dependent” on technology I think we have lost something. Instead of going to the store you can buy everything over the internet. Instead of talking to someone you can send them an instant message. Instead of playing baseball with your friends you turn on your Xbox and play a video game. I feel that in time inter-personal relationships will be affected by all of this behavior. Learning to deal with people is a skill that can only be learned through experience. As much as I bitch about people (and there is a never-ending source of material) I try to like people. Sometimes they disappoint me, but that doesn’t mean I am giving up.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Bar Jokes

Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks.

A rope walks into a bar and orders a beer and the bartender looks at him and tells him “We don’t serve your kind.” So the rope goes home and the next day walks into the same bar and again the bartender tells him, “We don’t serve your kind.” So the rope decides to try again with a costume. He goes home and combs his hair way out and ties himself. That night he walks into the bar and the bartender looks at him and says, “Aren’t you that same rope that has been coming in here the last two nights, the rope then replies, “I’m afraid not.”

John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Why the long face.”

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

A man walks into a bar and sees a pretty woman sitting alone, so he asks if he can buy her a drink. They start talking and they are hitting it off. So, he asks her if she wants to go back to his place. At this point the woman says, “Listen before this goes any further, I think I should tell you I used to be a man.” The guy is completely shocked and asks, “Well didn’t it hurt when they cut your manhood off”, and the woman says, not really. Then the man asks, “Well didn’t it hurt having to take all those Estrogen injections?” And the woman replied, “No, that didn’t hurt either but what really hurt is when they sucked out half of my brain.”

Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you,” says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer, and the bartender tells him they don’t serve mushrooms and the mushroom replies, “Why not I’m a fun guy.”

A guy walks into a bar with a dog. "This dog is the smartest dog in the world." he says. "He can answer any question." "Oh yeah?" says one of the patrons. "Prove it!" The man turns to his dog, and asks, "What is over our head? " "Roof!" "How does bark feel?" "Ruff!" "Who is the greatest baseball player who ever lived?" "Ruth!" The patrons, growing tired of the show, throw the man and his dog out of the bar. The dog then turned to the man and asked, "Think I should have said DiMaggio?"

A guy walks into a bar in the top of the Sears Tower. A guy says to him "Hey, if you jump out the window, the air currents will spin you around a couple of times and then you'll fly right back in. Watch." So the man in the bar leaps out the window and what he says happens. He spins around and falls back in the room. The other man says "WOW! I want to try!" So he leaps out the window and falls and splats on the ground. The bartender says to the first man "Geeze Superman, you're a mean drunk.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Nick's Picks

Pitchers and Catchers have reported and spring training games are now under way which can only mean that baseball is coming back and I cannot wait for the new season to start. I mean every year I get a chubby waiting for the games to start and this year is no different. So, I know it is early and there will still be some spring training trades here and there but here are my predictions for the upcoming season as of right now.

National League

East – 1. Atlanta, 2. New York, 3. Philadelphia, 4. Washington 5. Florida. – I won’t pick against Atlanta until they lose a division. Fifteen straight division titles is amazing. The Mets have done a lot of good things in the off-season but still have pitching issues. The Phillies will score a ton of runs but again pitching is a little weak. The Nat's are a decent team with couple of nice players but are not deep enough to compete in this divison. The Marlins have Willis, Cabrera and a bunch of minor leaguer’s.

Central - 1. St. Louis, 2. Milwaukee, 3. Chicago, 4. Houston, 5. Pittsburgh, 6. Cincinnati – Cardinals still have a potent lineup and pitching is still very good. I can’t see them not winning this division. Brewers are my sleeper team of the year. They have quietly had a very good off-season to go with a .500 record from last year. If all goes well they are the wild card team. My Cubs just have to many question marks in the lineup and the rotation. The Astros lineup doesn’t scare anyone and with out Rodger that pitching staff is very average. The Pirates will be better but still aren’t ready to compete. The Reds are a complete mess and their rotation may be the worst in all of baseball.

West – 1. San Francisco, 2. Los Angeles, 3. San Diego, 4. Colorado, 5. Arizona – The Giants are the best of a bad lot. If Bonds stays healthy, a big if, the Giants run away with this division. The Dodgers are an enigma. A tough team to figure out, with a lot of question marks. Still a good bullpen and they will sneak in if the Giants lose Bonds. The Padres got in last year with 82 wins and they are not as good as that. Not enough offense and the pitching is average at best. The Rockies will be better and will score runs but like every year will have trouble getting anyone out. The Diamondbacks are a mess. They can’t hit, field or pitch. That usually spells trouble.

American League

East – 1. New York, 2. Toronto, 3. Boston, 4. Tampa Bay, 5. Baltimore – This is the Yankees division to lose. This lineup is one of the best that I have ever scene. The pitching is old but is still good enough to get them to a division title. The Blue Jays have made some significant improvements and will be a lot better. If this teams comes together they will make a run at the wild card and the Yankees. The Red Sox have some glaring holes. Besides replacing their entire infield and their center fielder their pitching is a year older and suspect. The Devil Rays have some nice young players, but still no pitching. I have no idea what the Orioles are doing. They are worse off then they were a year ago.

Central – 1. Chicago, 2. Cleveland, 3. Minnesota, 4. Detroit, 5. Kansas City – I can’t argue with the success the Sox have had and I think at least on paper that they are better then they were a year ago. The Indians are a good young team that will win the wild card if they get the pitching I think they will get. The Twins have a great pitching staff but I just don’t think they will score enough runs to keep up with the Sox and Indians. The Tigers will be better and have some serious offense but don’t have the arms to compete. The Royals will be respectable but can’t compete in a surprisingly loaded division.

West – 1. Oakland, 2. Los Angeles, 3. Texas, 4. Seattle – The A’s are a very good team that has made a lot of nice pickups. They could be this years White Sox. The Angels have lost too much from a team that wasn’t as good as its record. The Rangers as usual have lots of offense and I like the Millwood pickup but there is not enough pitching there to compete. The Mariners are in re-building mode and have some nice pieces in place to make a run maybe as soon as next year.

Playoffs

St. Louis over San Francisco in 4

Atlanta over Milwaukee in 5

St. Louis over Atlanta in 6

New York over Cleveland in 4

Oakland over Chicago in 4

New York over Oakland in 7

St. Louis over New York in 7

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

By Popular Request

I was asked by an anonymous source (Mike Connors) to re-tell a famous story from my youth. I have told this tale for years and so many times it has become etched into my memory. I remember this girl in high school who would beg me to tell it almost daily and each time she would laugh her ass off as I told it. I am not sure if reading about it will be as funny as hearing me tell it but I will try my best. So, here for your reading enjoyment is the time that Mike Dell threw up at the White Castle on 79th and Harlem.

Dell, had a floor hockey game so, I went with him and Nancy came along. At this point in time Dell was chauffeuring our asses everywhere. I personally feel that I have re-paid Dell with rides during the stretch of time before he got his Grand Prix and after the Impala stopped running. During that period, Dell was car-less so I paid him back in full. Nancy is a different story. Dell and I have often joked that one day we are going to fly to her house unannounced in Arizona and tell her that we need a ride back to Chicago. Then we might be even with her in the ride department.

But, I digress. Dell’s game ended and the three of us jumped into Dell’s car and decided to head off to the Castle and grab some burgers. We ordered our steamy delights and proceeded to sit down in a booth. Nancy and I were on one side and Dell was on the other. On the side that Dell was on, sat the heating duct. This device would come in to play in a moment.

As we sat there eating our heavenly delights the place started to get busy and suddenly there was kind of a long line at the counter. It was at this time that Dell looking somewhat pale, decided he needed to purge. I guess he didn’t have enough time to make it to the bathroom so he turned to his left and upchucked into the heating duct that was right next to our booth. Of course throwing up is rarely a silent adventure and Dell’s wretching noises caused the entire restaurant to turn in our direction to see him in mid-hurl.

Nancy tried to cover for him by explaining he was only coughing but, once people started to hear the sizzling of the vomit in the heating duct the gig was up. So, being the mature seventeen year olds that we were we high-tailed it out of there just as the smell of heating puke started to ferment the place. I mean think how White Castle smell going in. Now imagine that smell, being vomited out and heated. Needless to say the poor schlub making minimum wage that had to clean up the mess was severly underpaid for the tasks he was going to be asked to perform.

So, as we left I hopped in the front seat with Dell and Nancy got in the back. Dell had thrown his coat on the seat and I, trying to make some room, decided to throw it in the back where Nancy was. As I was in mid-toss Dell, exclaimed, “Be careful I threw-up on the coat as well.” Of course he says this right as the coat leaves my hand and hits Nancy. We were laughing so hard that I don’t think she even minded. Now, Dell may not remember this story or maybe he chooses to forget all the details but if I ever got a hold of Nancy she could verify the entire nights events.