Saturday, Not In The Park

I realize this post may bore the hell out of anyone reading this. However, I had a frustrating weekend at work and again, why have a blog if you cannot vent on it once in a while. For those not interested in reading one man’s petty complaints please check back later this week for a more pertinent post. For every one else with nothing better to surf, enjoy.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had to work this Saturday. We were doing DR testing. DR is short for disaster recovery. Meaning that if there is a disaster in say Chicago, we have all of our information stored in an offsite location. The Banks DR site is in Elgin, IL. I was informed to be downtown from 10 to noon for the first test and to be back at 5:30 for the second test. I planned on leaving at noon, driving home and then heading back to be here for post testing.

I show up at 10 and I had three applications to test. They all failed. Meaning that if Chicago burned down all three of these vital bank applications would not work and we would have a lot of pissed off customers. So, we work all morning and finally around 2:00 we get all three working on the DR box. I then figure well, since I am already down here and the post testing begins at 5:30 I might as well stay downtown. So, I grab a bite to eat and do some surfing on the web. Around 3:30 I get a call telling me the post testing won’t be starting until 7:30.

So, I say screw it and head home. I am not going to twiddle myself for four more hours. I get in the car and head home. I get downtown at 7:15 and I call in to get a status of the testing and am told it is now on hold until 8:00. At 8 I am told there will be another half hour delay. Finally at 8:30 we test and I get my first break of the day as all the applications pass the tests. So, I can go home.

I guess I have a problem when I have to depend on others to get things done. I have issues with trusting others to do a good job. This is not to toot my own horn or anything but, I have been burned so many times expecting others to be competent when in fact they are not. If others who were involved in the testing would have simply followed directions and been prepared, none of the problems would have occurred. I guess the old adage is true if you want something done right do it yourself.

Can't Stop Eating 'Em

I admit I get on my soapbox a little to often. I try to fight the good fight and it often leads to me talking when I should not. I have a hard time letting my true feelings stay hidden. My latest cause is that of Jay’s Potato Chips.

I have always preferred Jays to Lays chips as any self respecting Chicagoan should. I never gave it much thought and when I went in the chip aisle I put Jays in the cart and moved on. Sure, I would chow on the occasional bag of Doritos or Funyons here and there, however that has all changed.

This summer Lay’s came out with an advertisement in Chicago proclaiming Chicagoans preferred the taste of Lays to Jay’s. The first thought upon hearing this that popped into my mind was, bullshit. Jay’s must have also thought it was bullshit as they sued Lay’s asking them to produce the results of a taste test they claimed they had done. Lay’s could not produce the results and had to remove all of the advertising.

All of this pissed me off enough to force me to boycott all Lay’s products. I guess it is not enough that they monopolize 90% of the market share when it comes to salty snacks. They had to go after a Chicago based treasure like Jay’s. Lay’s makes sweetheart deals with all the major grocers in the United States to grab as much shelf space of your chips aisle as they can. If I go into a Jewel or Dominick’s in Chicago, 90% of the aisle is reserved for Frito Lay products. That is on top on the two display end caps that they have as well. Jay’s and Vitners (Another Chicago based chip company) are forced to fight for the remaining scraps of shelf space left in the store.

The end result of this is that now, I make sure to buy a bag of Jay’s chips or pretzels, (or Pork Rinds) everytime I go to the store. I also, have not had a Dorito, Cheeto, Frito, or Funyoun in months. I always get very provincial about Chicago based companies and try to support as many of them as I can. Civic pride is a rare thing nowadays and I want to do all as I can as a Chicagoan to promote Chicago based companies, like Jays chips. So many other small companies have been beaten into submission by big corporate bullies that I want to try to make sure that the few remaining can survive.

So, I ask all of those reading this who live in the Chicago area to join me and promote a good Chicago company. Also, Sears, Pepsi, Mc Donald’s, Vitner’s, are just some of the other Chicago based companies we should try to promote as well as all the small impendent pizza and hot dog shacks residing in our town. Chicago has tons privately owned hot dog stands that we take for granted. Take pride and treasure them. As a Chicagoan, you have a responsibility to promote Chicago business. If our economy is healthy that can only benefit the citizens of what to me is the greatest city in the world.

Lack of Nonsense

Sorry for the lack of updates. It has been a full week since my last post. That is the longest time frame between posts since I created this site of vanity called a blog. I could list a number of reasons as to why I didn’t post any rants or mundane details of my life but I won’t do that. Let’s just say I’ve been busy and there was a lack of things I needed to get off of my chest. Also, since no one comments on this site anymore I figured no one is reading it anyway.

The last week of my life was pretty uneventful, it snowed in on Saturday, watched football Sunday and blah, blah, blah. As for this weekend, I have to work on Saturday. I will be stuck here in the office from 9-6 doing testing. If I said it once I will say it again I hate mergers. The bank I work at Bank One merged (to make some already really rich white guys, a whole lot richer) with JP Morgan. The merger was announced a year ago and we are still in the process of combining both systems. OK, everyone done yawning.

So, this weekend is going to suck but the following weekend is a four-day weekend for Nick as I have a personal holiday after the superbowl and I get a comp day for working this Saturday. So, if you see me in those four days, try to ignore the smile I just can’t seem to wipe off of my face.

Venting II - The Wrath Of Nick

I last vented a month and a half ago and damn it I am backed up so here goes.

People on the train that talk really loud on their cell phones. These assholes don’t get that hey, you don’t need to fucking speak at a decibel level of a Who concert. Unless the other person you are talking to is Marlee Matlin quiet down. And, while we are on the subject use the phone for emergency calls only please. The rest of the train does need to hear about you plan for the evening which usually includes watching American Idol.

Norte Dame – I hate this fucking school. It is bad enough dealing with the dopes who actually went there but these other morons are the one’s that really boggle my mind. Norte Dame has a following of their football team that amazes me. People, who never went to the school, idolize it. Maybe it is because of the name Fighting Irish. Which I equated to drunken guys named Sully, getting their ass kicked in bar fights. On top of all this any school that goes by the moniker “God’s Team” and has a touchdown Jesus needs to go far, far away.

Wal Mart Advertising – I see these commercials and I want to vomit. Listen, you guys run the world and have beaten your competition into a pulp with your bullying tactics. You’ve killed thousands upon thousands of mom and pop stores and you should be proud. All I ask is that you stop trying to pretend that you care about people. Stop kidding us; all you see in a person is their income per capita and how much you can suck from their bank accounts. Those nauseating ad’s were you have some Grandfather talking to a Gingerbread man cookie are pathetic. Quit it already, you have enough of the market place and you’ve already duped most of the middle class. You are wasting money on needless self-serving advertising.

Hollywood Couples – Who cares already? Does anyone really lose any sleep because Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anistion broke up? If your life is so devoid of pleasure that you fell the need to live vicariously through celebrities who you will never meet than I suggest buying a gun and ending it already.

People who believe in Creationism – People who don’t believe in Evolution should not be allowed to operate large vehicles. I guess scientific proof is not enough for these simpletons. It’s funny, people I think are forward thinking enough and rationale just can’t get past that religious upbringing. If you read the bible it contradicts itself all over the place. Discover magazine just did a whole piece on Evolution (Which I read while waiting to get probed by my dentist.) It was fascinating and further proved to me that people have been brain washed by these religious zealots who are not happy unless you think their way and their way only.

Hypochondriac’s – Listen, if you are legitimately sick, I feel for you. However, I think most of the time these people are sick in the head. Instead of taking Tylenol, why not get out of the house. Go have some fun and stop thinking about getting sick. Stress lowers the immune system. If you are constantly getting sick than you need to stop, take five and get your priorities straight. Life is to short to go through it sick all the time. I say enjoy the ride while you can.

Kate Hudson – She has quickly picked up the slack from Meg Ryan and Julia Roberts and has filled that lame, romantic comedy, gee look how cute I am, movie niche. All of these movies are the same. Woman meets man, they are totally opposite from one another. They annoy each other at first but wait; they are secretly falling in love. Neither one wants to admit it until five minutes before the movie ends and low and behold we have a happy ending. Pass me the vomit bag. Kate Hudson started out with such promise with Almost Famous. However, that is her career highlight. I am not sure if I hate her or Reese Witherspoon more. Here’s an idea, take a chance. Pick a script based its merit not on how big of a check the studio is going to write you.

Gun Nuts – I really can’t even fathom this one. How can anyone think for a minute more guns is a good idea. Listen, no one wants to take away your hunting rifle. Gun Control is just that, controlling guns. To say well, the criminals are just going to get them anyway is a cop-out. If the gun companies stopped making armor piercing bullets and automatic weapons then just how are criminals going to get them? Background checks and trigger guards are a good thing. Lastly, please don’t give me that right to bear arms crap. The drafters of the constitution were afraid of the king of England. That is why they put in the right to bear arms. Not to bear semi-automatic uzi’s.

Clients who don’t give up their chairs – This is a very personal one as it only pertains to me. When I go to visit a client and need to work on their computer it is much easier to do see when I can actually type on the keyboard with out having to go over your back or between your arm’s. Common courtesy is gone in today’s society and this is just another glaring example of that. It’s funny and maybe I just tend to notice this more but it always seems the assholes that don’t give up tier seats are the ones with George W. Bush mouse pads in their cubes. I am of the belief that if you make someone’s job easier they will do a better job for you. If you make it harder than they are just going to do the minimum and try to get rid of you as fast as they can. That is what I do to clients that won’t let me sit down to look at their system. I half ass fix anyway I can and make a mental note to put them on my shit list.

TV: Lover, Teacher, Friend

My wife always complains that I watch too much TV and maybe she has a point. I argue with her about it but, it is how I unwind and there are a lot worse things I could be doing with my time. Now, there could be better ways of spending that time as well however, I like what I like and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. The thing is, I can list only a handful of shows that I watch on a regular basis. The Simpson’s, Arrested Development, Scrubs, Law and Order and I still catch ER. That is about it.

That amounts to only three and a half hours a week. If all I am doing is watching TV, you may ask what I am spending the rest of the time watching. The answer: nothing. Sometimes, I’ll catch a re-run of Seinfeld or a good movie will pop up on the dish. However, most of the time I am surfing, trying desperately to find anything watchable. When I moved into my house I dumped Comcast, which is the cable provider in our area.

It seemed like every month Comcast raised its rates without adding channels or improving quality. So, I went out and got a dish. The dish is much cheaper than cable and it came with a free DVR. A DVR is a Tivo like product, which digitally records shows for you. Its greatest feature is that is pauses live television. Often when I am watching a program like the Soprano’s, mid way through I will have to take a leak and now I can just pause the show and relieve myself.

So, I find myself on most work nights coming home and having only enough energy to put on the tube and vegetate out. Sure, I could do more worldly things like, read or plant a tree but I like to watch television and I am sick of feeling like a criminal because of it. I agree most network shows are crap. The recent wave in reality programming is only further proof of this. But to condemn all of TV because of American Idol would be the same as condemning all literature because of romance novels.

Watching TV is not hurting anyone and I am not ashamed of liking it. I cannot stand these people with their elitist attitudes who assume anyone who watches television is a drooling slob. There are plenty of quality programs out there if you look for them. Also, catching the Chapplele show or Family Guy can lighten my mood and only help in reliving any stress I may have had that day. So, I say stand up and admit your addiction to the tube. There are much worse things to be addicted to.

My Pants Are Falling And They Can't Get Up.

Today is my first day back at work after a blissful three-day weekend. It’s always a chore coming back after three days off and today was proof of that. I ran out of the house and forgot my pager at home. I then get to work and also realize that I forgot to put a belt on as well. The funny thing is I didn’t drink that much alcohol this weekend. Hopefully, my day will pick up from here.

The Cause of and Solution to all of Life's Problems

This may come as a shock to most people but yes I like beer. (To anyone that has seen my gut this fact is obvious.) I am somewhat of a beer historian so I will give you 3 lists. Here we go:

Nick’s 5 favorite beers (These are the 5 I like no matter what, cost, availability and what not.)

1. Point – Brewed in Stephens Point, Wis. it is a tasty brew. It’s not filling, doesn’t have a bitter after taste and can be enjoyed in summer and winter. You can’t get it in the flatlands of Illinois much but when I see it, I buy it.

2. Lowenbrau – This beer has lagged in popularity over the years and I do not understand why. It is very tasty and has a smooth texture. Who ever does marketing for this beer needs to be fired.

3. Hacker Pschorr – A great German beer. I must say it is 10x better on tap than in a bottle. It is hard to find, but when I find it I can drink it all night

4. Heineken – A little heavier than most beers I like but its distinctive taste sets it apart. Not a beer to chug or pound all night as it is very filling. A good beer to drink in the winter as it is very hearty.

5. Moretti – OK, I’m Italian so I must put one WOP beer on my list. This is my favorite. Light, smooth and unique I love having a bottle when waiting for a table at my favorite Italian restaurants.

Nick’s beers he drinks the most. (These are the beers I like to call my default beers. Meaning these are beers that don’t cost a ton and you can get them most anywhere.)

1. Rolling Rock – Still my favorite “default” beer. Light and smooth, it goes down easy and you can drink it all night without worrying about getting full.

2. Pabst Blue Ribbon – I have always had an affinity for PBR. I used to find it at dive bars and drink it all night. It has made a bit of a comeback lately and I want a royalty check because of it. Seriously, it is a very under-rated beer, which is very tasty.

3. Miller High Life – Not, Genuine Draft but old school High Life. It has a very sweet after taste that I love. You can find it most anywhere and it is usually pretty cheap. Also, I can thank my Uncle John for the High Life as that was all he drank when I was a kid and I just must have picked up on it at some point.

4. Corona – Mexican beer that you can get almost anywhere. I can’t say I ever drink it in the winter but it is in my regular rotation come April. Sitting outside in a beer garden goes hand in hand with Corona.

5. Schlitz – Not as easy to find as it once was, but it is very good. When I tell people that Consumer Reports listed it as the best overall beer, (when you consider taste vs. cost) most don’t believe me. Trust me, next time you see it order one up, it is very under-rated.

Nick’s least favorite beers. (These are beers that I cannot stand and will never drink.)

1. Lite – I hate, this swill. If you enjoy drinking watered down chemicals than by all means enjoy. Women are allowed to drink Lite but men who do should also be required to wear a tampon when doing so.

2. Sam Adams – I realize I am in the minority but I hate this crap. Skunky, heavy and with a bad after taste it has it all. The most over rated beer ever produced.

3. Coor’s – A huge beer out west, it’s never really had an impact in Chicago and I think I know why. It tastes like shit.

4. Hamm’s – From the land of sky blue water’s comes this garbage. The only good thing I can say about it, is that it is cheap. However, it tastes like it was brewed in the bathtub of a nursing home. A “friend” brought over a case four months ago and I cannot give it away.

5. Gunniess – I know a lot of people, who like this beer, and I’ve tried to like it but I just can’t. Any beer you have to strain just cannot be good.

The Original Number 23 in Chicago

I realize this is a week late but I wanted to send a shout out to one of my favorite ball players, Ryne Sandberg and his election to the baseball Hall of Fame. It is much deserved. Now, I am Cub fan who is obviously biased, but when it comes to the Hall of Fame I don’t usually let my Cub fan bias blind my belief that the Hall should be reserved for only the truly great, and Ryne Sandberg was one of the truly great.

June 23, 1984 is a day that will live in my memory until the day I die. First off, it was my fifteenth birthday. I was in Ohio spending the summer at my Dad’s. The Cubs and Cardinals was NBC’s game of the week. The Cubs were in the thick of the pennant race and it was shaping up to be a memorable summer on the north side. The Cardinals jumped out to a commanding lead that day and it was like 9-2 in the seventh inning. The Cubs started to make up come back but were still two runs down going into the ninth.

Up to the plate came Sandberg representing the tying run. On the mound was ex-Cub Bruce Sutter. Sutter was the best reliever in baseball at the time and rarely blew a save. It didn’t faze Sandberg though as he launched a pitch into the left field bleachers to tie the game. My Dad and I went bonkers. Of course this is the Cubs and in the top of the 10^th the Cards scored two runs to take an 11-9 lead. It looked as if Ryno’s heroics would be wasted.

Sutter was still in the game and easily retired the first two batters the Cubs sent up there. Bobby Dernier was our last hope and somehow he coaxed a walk out of Sutter to bring up Sandberg once again representing the tying run. At this point my Dad, my brother and myself had all changed seats since the previous inning. My Dad instructed us to sit down in the exact spots we were last time he came up, believing those were the lucky seats. Well, I guess they were because wouldn’t you know it Sandberg did it again launching another Sutter pitch out of the park to tie the game one more time.

Being a Cub fan it is a rare occasion were you get to celebrate so when the time comes we tend to go a little crazy. My Dad and I went absolutely ape shit after that blast. The Cubs would go on to win the game and I am convinced that was the game that propelled the Cubs to their first post season appearance since 1945.

Seeing Sandberg on a daily basis was a privilege. He wasn’t flashy, he didn’t wear bling -bling, and he didn’t do a home run trot. He simply played the game with class and a steadiness that is rarely seen today. He re-defined second base in the 80’s and won an MVP award for his stellar 84 season. For all those reasons and much more he was always a hall of famer in my book.

Kickoff to Drunkenness

The football playoffs are in full swing so that means lots of fun for Nick. Every year my friends and I all get together for each round. I look forward to it for various reasons. With the holidays I don’t see my friends that much as they as I are all busy doing things with our immediate families. So, with that all done, the playoffs are a good excuse to get together and bullshit with one another. This past weekend the fun started.

The opening round of the playoff’s is accompanied by a get together thrown by the Conway’s. They just had a baby girl and haven’t been out much so it was good seeing my friend Kevin and his wife Kris. I ate chili, drank beer, yucked it up, played a game of horse in the snow, and had a good old time. I know that is this just the beginning of the fun.

For the second round of games, my friend Wally has people over. Wally usually cooks a lot of fish, (which I am not a fan of but I can usually scrounge up a beef sandwich somewhere). For the Conference Championship games we go to Pat’s house. Pat lives in Alsip and rents a heater so we all can sit in the garage and eat his wife’s cooking. She marinates some beef and chicken, which is out of this world. For the Super Bowl it is onto Mike Phelps’ house. The scene there is something just short of Caligula. Food, drinks, deserts, gambling it has it all. I look forward to it every year.

It’s not really watching the games that I look forward to. I could watch them in the comfort of my own couch, but I would be missing out. I enjoy catching up with friends, winning or losing some money, joking around and arguing about whatever subject comes up. It is a lot of male, homo club bonding. There is some comfort in that I have had the same group of friends for over ten years, closer to fifteen. Most of them I met via Kmart.

Many have come and gone out of what we call the “family.” I take pride and treasure the friendships that I’ve made. Your family has to put up with you but friends don’t. I’ve spent most of twenties and early thirties with my posse and I like knowing that at a drop of a hat I can count on a number of people to help me out if I ever got in a jam.

So, for the next couple of weeks, I will busy renewing those friendships and adding more and more stories to my already large library of yarns. After the playoffs are over I will share the best of them on this blog.

Snow Job

I love Chicago, I really do. When I go anywhere else I get homesick after three days. I am a creature of habit and I need to be around things and places I know. Living in this city you have to deal with snow. Yesterday we got hit with 9 inches. What I love about this is that to a true hardened Chicagoan this should be nothing. Ya, it sucks to drive around in it but damn it, I wish people would quit whining about it already.

To all of the whiners here is a thought, if you don’t like snow and cold you might want to think about re-locating. Maybe move with all the other wimps to places like Phoenix or Dallas. All I heard this morning at work were people bitching about the commute. I want to say to them, it’s January and you live in Chicago, what do you expect, grow a dick and deal with it already.

Dealing with cold and snow makes one appreciate the spring and summer seasons all the more. First off, the snow really is picturesque. Driving around and looking around my neighborhood this morning, I saw some beautiful sites. Also, I like having four seasons. I love when the trees start blooming around here in April and that feeling the first day it hits 60. I circle the date when pitchers and catchers report to spring training. I look at it as a sign that spring is coming soon. You don’t get to feel that in Arizona.

Winter can bring people together. I saw a car stuck this morning and three guys were out there helping this lady out. My friend told me that he was all prepared to go home tonight and shovel and his wife called him to tell him that their neighbor had plowed his entire driveway. You just don’t get that type of bonding in the summer, well at least not in the burbs. The city is a whole other story.

There is one practice in the winter that I cannot stand and that is the practice of reserving places on the street by placing lawn furniture in them. I realize you just dug your way out of the snow and you feel you should be rewarded for that. Sorry, but that is city property. If you don’t like it then either move to the burbs or get a garage next time. The price you pay for city living is the lack of parking. What is worse is the mayor endorses such behavior. It is ugly and un-neighborly and sends the wrong message.

So, I say enjoy the snow. It will only be around a little while and then it will melt. Realize how lucky we are to have grown up with snow days, sledding, outdoor ice-skating and hot chocolate. Remember to embrace the elements. If you prepare for them they are really not that bad.

The Information Technology Shell Game

The holidays are over and even though I worked throughout them, I actually have to go back to work. January is my least favorite month to work. Mind you I am not trying to complain. I have a job and I know a lot of IT people still out on their ass.

So many in this current economy have lost their jobs, especially, in the technology field. Companies will always look to reduce the bottom line and get rid of liabilities like Information Technology. To my fallen brothers and sisters in IT, I feel for you. You did everything you were told to do and still got a rim job. You studied hard, went to college, learned a trade and then applied your trade into a job, and for what? To get it right up the rear. All during the nineties I would meet more and more kids that wanted to get into the technology arena. It was the fastest growing field at one time in the early Clinton years. (Ah, remember the happy go lucky Clinton years.) Unfortunately, what happened was that the market got flooded. While companies found more and more ways to reduce IT spending and head count there were more and more graduates with Computer Science degrees.

I saw it first hand where I used to work, Harris Bank. I would look at these resumes of people looking to do desktop support who were way over qualified for it. You’d have a guy with ten years experience who was a network engineer and have every certification in the world. What usually had happened was that the place he worked for cut IT spending, outsourced the job he was doing so he went from making eighty five thousand a year to nothing. So, he would come in and interview for a job making fifty five thousand. As bad as I felt for these guys I would never suggest hiring them. I knew that they were only using the measly desktop support job as a stopgap until they could find something a little more glamorous. I wanted someone who wanted to be there and was not going to leave in three months.

The other resume I would see is someone right out of college. I felt even worse for these unfortunate saps. Four years of college studying your ass off and you finally graduate. Only to find out that you have to move back in with Mom and Dad because you have no dorm, no job and suddenly you have to pay off that student loan. You take a job at the local Kroger bagging groceries just to have money to make ends meet. All the while you have been lied to.

You thought that was what the American dream was all about. Study, work hard and one day you will be on top. Only you learned something along the way. You were lied to. You are just cattle. A number, a statistic, a paycheck. Corporate America doesn’t care about you. They will give you all the bullshit excuses to treat you like crap so that they can sleep better at night, while making money off your dead carcass. Sorry about tossing you and your family out on the street but, we are losing money and we need to cut costs. We need to make sure the stockholders can gain on their investment, we owe it to them. (Meanwhile, without saying so, telling you they owe you shit.) You did a great job but that job was sold off to India so we can pay Saboo over there, $5.00 an hour to do your job and not have to give him any benefits.

Do I have an answer to this, sadly I don’t. I don’t pretend to. I was raised to treat people fairly and with respect, have morals, do the right thing and make your country proud. Corporate America is a soulless bitter existence. One that I, along with so many others learned the hard way. Never trust them and always keep on eye on your own ass. That is all I can suggest. In the end you are the only one who you can trust. Remember that and beyond all else never, under any circumstance believe what they tell you.

Maybe, just maybe things will get better. I doubt it, but I can always hope. Even after being beaten over and over again into submission I still want to believe that there is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. I must be delusional but hopefully someone out there with some power grows a conscience and attempts to change things for the better. One can only hope.

Getting to Know Nick

I have always maintained you can tell a lot about people by scanning their cd collection or seeing what magazines they subscribe to. Also, by asking certain questions, as insignificant as they may seem at first when pieced together with everything else can go a long way towards identifying one’s personality. So, I will expose mine by revealing some pop culture favorites of mine. Also, I hope to spark some debate.

My favorite Monkee is Mike Nesmith. While, Davy is the choice of most women and Mickey is a popular choice as well, I prefer the dry subtle humor of Mike. If for nothing else he was the executive producer on Repo Man. I have nothing against Peter Tork, and Your Auntie Grizelda is one of my favorite Monkee tunes. (One of the few Pete was allowed to sing lead vocals on.) However, Mike is the cool Monkee and the one who needs the Monkee’s the least now.

My favorite Simpson’s character is Mr. Burns. I am not sure what that says about me, but I laugh the most at his lines. While I can laugh at most characters on the show, any episode that features the evil C. Montgomery Burns, is usually a favorite. To many great lines to quote but on two separate Halloween episodes he has used the line to Smither’s “I owe you a Coke.” I just love that line.

My favorite Beatle is Ringo. Now, I know I will get nuked on this one but hear me out. Ringo realizes he is the luckiest man alive. He was the most replaceable member of the foursome, yet he never lets that fact bother him with his enjoyment of life. While Paul is Mr. Love song, John was Mr. Peace, and George was Mr. Traveling Wilbury, Ringo just had fun. With John and George both passing on, I can guarantee that Ringo will out live Paul. It just makes so much sense. Plus Octopus Garden is a jam.

I find Gun’s and Roses to be the best metal band to come out of that 80’s makeup wearing crap. Poison, Whitesnake, Winger, Cinderella, Skid Row, Bon Jovi, Ratt, Twisted Sister, WASP, and Warrant, I hated them all. G’N’R is heads and shoulders above the rest. The only real competition is Metallica. IN the 80’s and early 90’s Metallica rocked. And Justice for All is one of the greatest metal discs released. However, Appetite for Destruction and both Lose Your Illusion records are rocking forces that can go toe to toe with anything. Sure, Axel Rose is a flake and they didn’t have the staying power but the little amount Gun’s and Roses put out is pure gold.

George is my favorite Seinfeld character. Sure, I love Kramer, Jerry and Elaine, but it is George Costanza that makes that show hum. In fact I would list George as my favorite character in TV history. He has so many issues, embraces failure and is the ultimate loser. Short, stocky, bald, underemployed, he has it all. On top of that, I want to send a huge shout out to his parents. Frank and Estelle only added to allure of that character. When he moved in with them for those two seasons, that was when Seinfeld was at it’s best.

Of the five that have been made to this point, Empire Strikes Back is far the best of the Star Wars movies. Debating Star Wars movies is the ultimate in geek talk so, I will keep this one short. The original Star Wars is a three star film. Empire gets four Stars and the rest of them including Return of the Jedi all suck.

As many who know me, realize, I am a huge fan of the films of Kevin Smith. So, to finish this I will list my favorite films of his in order.

1. Clerks - Still my favorite after all these years.

2. Mallrats – Many pan this one but Jason Lee is a genius and funny as hell

3. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back – Tons of in-jokes and realizes what it is, a bunch of dick and fart jokes.

4. Chasing Amy – Really good movie about relationships. Watching this recently I looked at Affleck’s performance and wondered what went wrong later on during his career.

5. Dogma – Smart, funny, and had a giant poop monster. What more do I need to say.

6. Jersey Girl - While I love Kevin Smith, I can say that this is a flawed movie. Yes, it has its moments but a formulaic ending and so much sugar that I’m a diabetic now after seeing it.