NIck's Bottom 10 of Music

Music is a very personal thing and one of my many faults is taking it way too seriously. I have tried to “lighten up” as I have gotten older. Still, when I hear Living on a Prayer being played at Wrigley Field it is like nails on a chalkboard. I guess to each their own and live and let live. Plus, I am sure there are some songs on my Ipod that many people would dislike. Anyway, here is a list of 10 bands or artists that really get under my skin. You can disagree with me all you want, and I won’t think any less of you if you do. These 10 are in no particular order of sucking.

Bon Jovi – I have been pretty consistent on this one. I wrote a whole blog on my passionate dislike of the ‘Jov here http://10withamop.blogspot.com/2007/12/he-gives-music-bad-name.html#comments It bothers me that here in 2010 this hack is still selling records. If he looked like say, Dee Snyder this no talent crap merchant would have stopped selling records back in 1987. Sadly, the women of the world continue to buy this guys shit. And I will never understand it.

Aerosmith – You know 1970’s era Aerosmith is fine. I have no problem with that. But as soon as the guys started singing about dude’s looking like ladies, I tuned out. It is hard to find a band that has jumped the shark more fantastically then Aerosmith. If there was ever any doubt all one needs to do is watch the duet here with Brittney Spears. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-oJKyHHxKk Is there anything these guys wouldn’t do for the money?

Dave Matthews Band – Try to find a whiter band. Go ahead I dare you. It is beyond me how anyone can listen to this guy whine and like him. For the life of me I don’t get it. I know a lot of people whose musical tastes I respect that like this guy. When I hear him, my blood simply boils. Boring, un-inspired, yawn inducing adult contempo banality is all I hear.

Toby Keith – This man’s music is spawned by Satan. I told the story of the last time I was in Vegas staying at Harrah’s and having to pass this ass clowns restaurant every time I went back to my room. I have nothing against country music. But this guy isn’t playing country. This is the new age US99 bullshit. Anyone that lives in Chicago where we actually have musical choices and chooses to listen to his shit should be ashamed.

The Eagles – My hatred for the Eagles is kind of weird. First off I really like Joe Walsh and the James Gang stuff. And I will own to liking a couple of tracks from the band. But, then there are songs like Tequila Sunrise that simply put new meaning to the word sucking. Maybe it is the fact that they are overplayed. Maybe it is that so many people pray at the altar of these guys. Whatever it is, The Eagles annoy me. I once heard an argument on the radio where the host said the Eagles where the Greatest American Band of all time. I could not disagree with that statement more. Now if we are talking most over rated American band of all time that is a sentiment I can agree with.

Jimmy Buffett – There may be no performer on this list that I despise more than this jackal. Buffett is a Cub fan. In my mind that is his only good characteristic. His music is putrid, unoriginal, boring and really, really white. Buffett has duped his millions of followers. He has and will sue anyone he feels is infringing on his right to sell shitty merchandise and even shitter cheeseburgers. The man is bad enough but his all white army of Parrot Heads are what really drive me nuts. I have to ask is it his music you like or drinking Pina Colada’s? I get the drinking thing, but this scumbag does not have a copyright on it. Trust me you can drink some Malibu Rum while listening to good music. Give it a try, you will thank me later.

James Blunt – Do you like to hear someone who sings like their nuts are in a vice? Do you like your lyrics written by someone that looks like they copied them from an 11 year old girl’s notebook? Do you like your music as unoriginal as a beer fart? Well if you do then by all means go download some James Blunt. This guy’s career is a mystery to me. Maybe it is because I was born with a penis. That must be it because I simply don’t get it.

Phish – It is hard to hate Phish, because they are potheads. And really most potheads are pretty mellow and don’t hurt anyone. Still, Phish puts out really, really bad music. I used to give the Dead a ton of shit simply because I am not a huge fan of jam bands. But, in my later years I found a soft spot in my hear t for them. But Phish, sorry can’t do it, they suck and there is no two ways about it.

Pink Floyd – I would never argue that the members of Pink Floyd aren’t great musicians, because they are. My problem with Pink Floyd is that they put out the most boring, over produced music on earth. Listen, I know I am in the minority with this one, and I don’t care. I listen to Pink Floyd and I am bored out of my mind within 2 minutes. I once was at a bar that had a Pink Floyd cover band playing. Let me tell you if your goal is transform a crowded bar where people are having a good time into a comatose mob that all start yawning in unison put on some Pink Floyd.

The Black Eyed Peas – If you ever need proof that the American buying public has no taste when it comes to music, the success of the Black Eyed Peas should be more than enough. This group is a symptom of a larger problem facing music today. Their songs (if you call what they put out songs) are all electronically, heartless, passionless, noise that while it may be easy to dance to. However, when listed to causes cancer of the ears. I know I sound like a fossil when I say that today’s music is pure shit, but sadly it is. Sure, there are some bands and performers out there with something original to say but, by and large it is bands like these truly awful crap merchants that the drones flock to.

My First Valentine

Sunday is Valentine’s Day. I am very lucky in that after many ups and downs, I wound up with a woman who is not only my best friend but someone who I enjoy being around and get to share my life with. She makes all the mistakes I made with the fairer sex all worth it. I am very blessed to be able to spend what will now be our 11^th Valentine’s Day together.

It was a long road that led me to Joyce. I made many mistakes along the way and learned many lessons. Thankfully, when the time came I took those lessons and used them in my relationship with my wife. It has been a great ride. I guess it all started with my first Valentine and my first crush. That was 32 years ago and it started it all.

I was in 3^rd grade. I was 8 years old. It was 1978. I was attending St. Albert’s the Great grade school. This is where I would meet my first valentine, but first a little history. It was the year after my parents got divorced. My brother and I were shuttling between staying at my grandparents house in Burbank and with my Mom who was staying with my Aunt Kathy on Lockwood.

We were enrolled at St. Al’s at the beginning of the school year. At that point in my very young life I had to that point had very little to no interest in girls. I was into playing baseball, riding my bike, and Steve Austin. But my infatuation with the fairer sex all started under the watchful eyes of Mrs. Fitch my 3^rd grade teacher.

Her name was Chrissy. I don’t remember what attracted her to me. I think she sat across from my desk if memory serves and when you are eight that sometimes is all it takes. Whatever the reason I was smitten and I told no one other then my best friend in Mrs. Fitch’s class Renee Alvarez.

Renee and I bonded because he like I was a Cubs fan in a classroom full of White Sox rooters. At recess we hung out together, traded lunches from time to time and occasionally hung out after school. I remember he lived right across the street from the church.

Third grade was also the beginning of what would become a scholastic career of me getting into trouble. I would get sent home with from time to time with an oops slip pinned to my shirt. An oops slip was the equivalent of getting a detention before you were really old enough to get a detention.

Anyway, I digress. At some point during the school year I developed my crush on Chrissy. In logic that only an 8 year old can mange, I was sure she was going to be the future Mrs. Francone. But, while I was smitten I was also scarred shitless of revealing my feelings to her.

I was obviously in my infancy of courting the opposite sex. I spent the school year keeping my secret crush hidden from most of the outside world. Then the calendar moved to February and it hit me. I would have one big chance to show her how I felt, Valentine’s Day. If I didn’t step up to the plate on the 14^th I never would.

But how exactly could I get that point across? I had no idea. Then one day smack dab in the aisles of our local Jewel – Osco, like a bolt of lightning it hit me. I would buy Chrissy a dish of candy hearts and give it to her on Valentine’s Day. That would be sure to win her over.

Now being eight, I had no money on me of course. So, I had to talk my rather frugal grandmother into purchasing this item for me. She asked me what it was for. This story takes place 32 years ago so my memory is hazy at certain details. All I do remember is having to do a song and a dance to get her to buy the item. But buy it she did.

I had the candy dish. On the fateful morning, I got ready and put it in my school bag with my books. But then of course it hit me, when exactly would I give Chrissy the candy dish that I was sure was going to show her how I felt? I had two options as I saw it, recess or wait until after school. I weighed the pros and cons and figured I would give it to her after school, this way I could flee the scene quickly.

I remember the day just dragging. The whole time I was in school I was trying to stir up as much eight year old courage as I could to actually go through with my plan. I was sweating bullets. I had no idea if I could actually go through with it and actually hand her my Valentine. The ordeal was eating me up inside as the day dragged.

Finally the school day was over. It was do or die time. I grabbed the candy dish from under my desk and followed Chrissy outside. To be honest with you, until the very second I handed it to her I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. But, somehow I mustered up the onions to go for it. I called out her name, handed her the candy dish and told her Happy Valentine’s Day. Everything after that is a blur. I don’t remember her reaction, if she smiled what she said, nothing. I had worked myself up into such a mental state that once I actually went through with giving her the valentine I must have blacked the rest out.

The rest of the school year went on and my 3^rd grade infatuation like all 3^rd grade infatuations at some point ended. Being as we were both eight years old, shy, and in Catholic school not much became of my gesture. Then recently thanks to Facebook I caught up with Chrissy and she remembered the incident. She told me that for years she has been re-telling the story of how she got her first valentine from Nick Francone. Knowing that the eight year old boy inside me is proud and smiling.

Googling the Alphabet

This only works if you don’t clean out your history in your browser. Type each letter of the alphabet into google in your browser and what is the first thing that comes up with that letter. This could be interesting

A – Adrian Peterson – I must have been scouting for fantasy football

B - Baseball America top prospects 2010 – Yes, I am a baseball geek

C –Calgary Herald – The local paper in Calgary. I wanted to get the opponents viewpoint on a Black Hawks game.

D – David Hoffman – He was running for senate here in Illinois and I wanted some more info on the guy.

E - Ebuddy – E Buddy is a web messenger site that links all your IM’s together.

F – Fritz Weaver – I was watching an episode of the Twilight Zone and I knew I knew the main actor in it. But, I had to google him to figure out from where.

G – GROTA – Stands for Goat Riders of the Apocalypse – It is a Cubs fan blog.

H – Here go buy yourself a Star War – This is a quote from Arrested Development. Why I googled this I have no idea.

I – Illinois License Plate Renewal – Obviously I needed to renew my plates

J – Jay’s Potato Chips – The best chip on earth.

K – Kyrie Lyrics – Well this one is embarrassing. I have no defense.

L – Lost –I was looking for some Lost info and blogs.

M – Meister Brau – I wanted to prove to someone that Miller Lite is basically the same recipe as this long forgotten beer. And I was proven right.

N – News Askew – A site I sometimes visit to get some info on Kevin Smith

O – Orbitz – Must have been from when I was looking to book my last Vegas trip.

P – Peter Frampton – I was watching the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club band movie from the 70’s one night a couple of weeks ago. (It is so bad, that is like a car crash. You simply cannot look away. Anyway this led me to google Frampton for some reason.

Q – I have never googled anything beginning with the letter Q. How Strange.

R - Reverse Phone Look Up – Someone must have called my cell and I did not recognize the number so, I used this site to see if I could figure out who it was.

S – Salon – One of my favorite political sites

T –The Heckler – A sports humor site I have been known to visit.

U – Urban Dictionary – Another very humorous site that will define almost any slang saying or term for you.

V- Verizon – At one time I was thinking of switching cell phone companies.

W - WDRV – I think I wanted to listen online at work one day, which is strange as usually I just listen to the IPod.

X – Don’t have an X either.

Y – Yellow Pages – I think I am the only one that still uses them.

Z – Zillow – A site you can go on to see what your home may be worth.