What is on Nick's IPOD

I am going to do something very brave. I am going to without editing list the last twenty five songs that have been played on my IPOD. If nothing else this should show that I have a wide range of musical tastes. Mind, you these were all via the scuffle option and I share my IPOD with my wife. With that out of the way, warts and all here goes.

1. Cheating on You, Franz Ferdinand – I love this album. This song rocks big time. Great guitar track and a song that is impossible not to tap a toe along with.

2. Get Ready, Rare Earth – What can I say, I own the best of Rare Earth and when I was going through my CD’s and coping them to the IPOD, I grabbed it and copied this song. It does not suck, but not sure I would ever choose to play it.

3. Wild Boys, Duran Duran – Fuck you I like Duran Duran. Maybe it was growing up in the 80’s but I have a soft spot for this band.

4. Feeling Alright, Joe Cocker – I like Joe Cocker. It is hard not to. One of his best songs, but I prefer his version of The Letter.

5. For Once in My Life, Stevie Wonder – An old school Stevie Wonder Motown era jam. This is Stevie way before he jumped the shark in the mid 80’s.

6. Why Can’t We Be Friends, War – Every time I hear this song, I think back to the Simpson’s episode where Homer is about to fight Dredrick Tatum and this song is playing on his way up to the ring.

7. Beer Run, Todd Snider – For those who have not heard this one give it a whirl. It is a fun little ditty. All we need is a ten and a fiver, a car and a key and a sober driver.

8. Rebel Rouser, Duane Eddy – One of my favorite instrumental tracks of all time. I love those horns.

9. Lake Shore Drive, Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah – If you live in Chicago I think you have to like this song. I had forgotten about it and then there was an article about the song in the Sun Times a couple of weeks ago. So, I downloaded it onto my IPOD.

10. Don’t Get Around Much Anymore, Harry Connick Jr. – I expect to take shit for this one and more then likely deserve it. I am man enough to admit that I saw him live back in the day at the Chicago Theatre and he put on a very good show. Yes, I am gay.

11. Boom Boom, John Lee Hooker – A classic from a blues legend. Not much more needs to be said.

12. I Just Want to be Your Steve McQueen, Eytan Mirsky – This song is on the Tao of Steve soundtrack. I really like that movie, (I know it is a romantic comedy. But, it is smart and funny which is rare in that genre.) The soundtrack is a hidden gem and this tune is very catchy.

13. I’m Gonna Hate Myself in the Morning, Howard and the White Boys – I have a number of the tracks from the Boy’s on my IPOD. This is one of their early tunes that I think Dan wrote. A fun little song about drinking.

14. This is a Call, the Foo Fighters – I like the Foo Fighters. Give me shit if you want. (My co-worker and I argue all the time about them.) I love their first album in particular and this song is a jam.

15. On the Dark Side, John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band – Ok, not sure how to defend this one. I guess I can’t. I admit I like this song. It is a guilty pleasure what else can I say.

16. Crying, Roy Orbison – If you don’t like Orbison’s voice there is seriously something wrong with you. This man just had an amazing technique and Crying is so good it makes one want to actually shed tears.

17. The Spirit of the Radio, Rush – Ah, the back of the Argo bus, freshman year with Derek Bernal, Mike Martin and Ken Custer. A Rush cassette was on a permanent loop on the boombox we had.

18. I Alone, Live – Fuck you I like this album. Sure, Live is kind of a poser band but this album has an undeniable quality to it.

19. Oye Como Va, Santana – A classic rock track that withstands the test of time. Carlos is simply the man.

20. Middle of the Road – The Pretenders – I love Chrissie Hynes’ voice. I am a Pretender’s fan and this song is one of their rocking best.

21. Mary’s Prayer, Danny Wilson – Many forgot this late 80’s track. Not me. Again I have a soft spot for a lot of 80’s shit and this song falls into that category. Go ahead and nuke me, I deserve it.

22. Squeeze Box, The Who – The greatest fucking band of all time. Will always hear this song and think back to the Freaks and Geeks episode with Joe Flaherty listening to it and figuring out just what the song is about.

23. Carry on My Wayward Son, Kansas – I am not a Kansas fan. Not even sure how this got on my IPOD. I guess this is the only song of theirs I can stomach.

24. Strange Days, The Door’s – What is not to like about the Door’s. I am fan of this tune and its trippy feel.

25. Pride, Living Colour – I am a big Living Colour fan. I’ve seen them live four or five times. Pride off of their second disc Time’s Up still holds up as a good and meaningful song.

I No Longer Believe

In the mid to late 1990’s you could not find a bigger X Files fan then me. I never missed an episode. It used to be on Friday nights and I would postpone plans to go out until the show was over. I also never answered the phone when the show was on. I didn’t want to miss anything. That was how much of a fan (geek) of the show I was at its zenith.

Those first couple of seasons was an orgasmic treat every week. The stand alone episodes were always first rate drama that were always creepy and suspenseful. Yet you always had Duchovny’s dry humor thrown in there to alleviate the tension. Add the sexual tension between Mulder and Scully and you had dynamite.

Then you had the continuing storyline episodes with the Smoking Man. Truly a great villain, who was mysterious and sinister. Just what was the truth? The show would answer two questions and then ask three more. I kept up with the show through it all hoping that one day, my viewership would get rewarded with some logical conclusion. I mean I didn’t want the show to turn into a soap opera but that was exactly what happened.

The last couple of seasons the show was a shell of its former self. The continuing story line that never seemed to get solved just got old. It got tot the point where I didn’t care anymore. Then they created the ultimate sin in my book, and had Mulder and Scully hook up. That was a big red flag in my book.

What they should have done (something the creators of Lost have figured out) is have an end date in mind, so that they could wrap everything up. Instead they dragged it out to the point of absurdity even going so far to continue the show with out David Duchovny. That just made the show completely and stunningly jump the shark.

I didn’t even bother with the last season. I was so done with it. So, when I heard another movie was being made I had the attitude of who cares. But, I started to read about it and I started getting hooked back in. I read where it was going to be a stand alone film and not focus much on the back story. It was said it was going to go back to the X Files roots, which kind of got my blood pumping again.

The movie got brutal reviews but, I ignored that and headed to the theater anyway this Saturday to peep the film. And I was severely disappointed. The movie had the chance to be good. Sadly, they ruined it with too much time wasted examining the Mulder and Scully relationship and some lame back story about a sick boy Scully was taking care of.

I was getting angrier and angrier as the movie went on. It was just a huge reminder of just how much that show went off the rails the last couple of years. I was hoping for some redemption and instead got a reminder of the late season’s slippage. It is too bad because the show when it was at its best was one of the best I’ve ever seen. It is hard to remember a time when that was, after watching the shitstorm that the film is.

Then Sunday morning I got up and found an old episode on TNT. It was the one with Peter Boyle who was insurance salesman who could see how people were going to die. It was just a great reminder of how great the show could be when it was on. Inside jokes, a paranormal killer and a story that kept you on the edge of your seat. It is very rare when a television show can keep the quality for a long period of time. The X Files certainly did not keep up the quality but for a brief amount of time it was the best show of its kind.

Dating a Teenage Nick

If it was the late 1980’s or early 90’s and you were on a date with Nick, there is a pretty good chance, you got to do one of the following. Movies and dinner are boring, and have been done to death. Why I thought these places were like Spanish Fly, can simply be explained as I was young, living in the suburbs and my options and money were limited.

Great America – One of my favorite places to go with a girl was Great America. I used to have a season pass every year. The reason’s where quite simple. First, you take a ton of exhilarating and scary rides where adrenalin gets pumping and mix that with naive teenage girls and summer and it can be a lethal combination. Plus there was the Whizzer.

For those that have never ridden the Whizzer at Great America, you are really missing something. It is a classic old roller coaster that has some nice drops and goes pretty fast. However, the best part of the ride was how you sat in the car. Basically it was two people to a car and you had to straddle your ride partner. This is a good situation because various body parts can’t help but rub up against each other. Which when you are 19 and trying to get into a girls pants can be a huge turn on and usually ended with a cleanup.

Really most roller coasters with a girl are great and I am not even going to mention the water rides but I am sure you can use your imagination. There was nothing like a being on a ride with a girl and her screaming and grabbing your arm. The hairs on the back of my neck still stand up at the mere memory of it.

Mini Golf – Here was another standard Nick date. I liked mini golf simply because it was something to do, where you could talk to your date and play a game and have some innocent fun.

Also, you could show a girl just how to use a club, which had its benefits. You stand behind her and she takes the club shaft in her hand. You reach around her and guide her hands as she swings the putter. Again, body to body contact and it was all innocent.

I spent a lot of time at Haunted Trails in my youth and would always try to get a round of mini golf in with any girl I was courting. On top of the dry humping, you could purposely lose to the girl to show that you are good sport. And then make inappropriate jokes about balls. Really mini golf had it all.

Bowling – While, not as great as mini golf, bowling did have some advantages. First off you could give pointers to a girl on how to throw the ball. You stand directly behind her as she takes the ball in her hand. You take her arm and swing it back and forth showing her exactly how to throw the thing down the lane. All the while you’re pressed up against her rear end.

Plus you can teach her how to keep score (at least you could in the old days before every bowling alley in America installed automatic scoring lanes.) You could also go in a large group setting so, the pressure of a one on one date wasn’t there as well. It was fun and cheap and you could go year round.

Drive Aimlessly – While this was not my favorite pastime I must admit I did a lot of it in my younger years. Going for a drive with some tunes playing was and still is a good way to get to know someone. Plus you don’t have to worry about the awkward eye contact like you would when eating a meal.

But you can have a nice get to know you conversation while driving around. You can discuss the music that is being played over the radio (a huge indicator on what type of girl she is can be gauged from figuring out just what kind of music and what bands she listens to.) Sure, there is no physical contact like on the items listed above, but you can gain some intimacy and remember most cars do have a backseat.

Cub Game – My last date was a Cub game. I can’t think of one girl I dated even causally that I didn’t take to at least one Cub game. I am such a huge baseball geek, that I need to make sure a girl I like, at least can sit through a game. Plus Wrigley Field can be a huge aphrodisiac.

I know there are those who doubt the smell of stale beer and hot dogs can be a turn on and usually I would agree with you. But there is something about that ballpark that is romantic. I can’t put my finger on the exact reason. Maybe it is sitting outside out in the sun or under the lights on a summer day or night watching the greatest game on earth.

You can talk and root for the greatest team on earth and then after the game the neighborhood swallows you in. Being very familiar with the area, I could act as a tour guide that suburban girls that didn’t know the city, just locked into. You could ride the EL and go explore the big bad city. I know it sounds tame but trust me it usually worked.

The July Blues

The last week has really sucked a large and veiny cock for Nick. Some how I contracted strep throat and it hit me in the balls in a big bad way. Today is the first day that I feel even somewhat normal (still have a bit of residual pain but it is at long last finally subsiding.) Thank God, because I was beginning to lose my mind.

It started last Sunday. I had a very light sore throat that was causing me a very slight discomfort. Then Monday it got worse. By Tuesday it became unbearable. I could not swallow anything without a pain like someone was shoving a knife in the back of my throat. Also, I was having a bad case of the cold sweats. I would be freezing my ass off, one minute and then on fire the next. On top of that I was running a fever of 101. I was out of commission in a big bad way.

I got up Wednesday called in to work and got my ass to the doctor’s office. There, I was diagnosed with strep and given a prescription for Penicillin. I have has strep in the past and usually after taking antibiotics it goes away in a day two at the latest. Not this time. Wednesday, other then going to the Doctor, I did shit. I watched a lot of bad television and slept my ass off.

Thursday I hoped I would be better. I was not. I again had trouble swallowing and talking. Again, I was at home sick as a dog. I did not step foot outside on Thursday. I made a bowl of Ramen soup and tried to eat that. I found the only things that didn’t cause pain to eat where soup and ice cream. (You can imagine what a diet of soup and ice cream does for Nick’s digestive tract.)

I kept hoping the drugs would start to kick in and I would start felling better, but it was not happening. I woke up Friday, and I still had a fever, had sweat through my shirt that I had slept in and my throat was still no better. I could not miss three consecutive days of work, so I logged in from home and at least got a couple of things done. Still, talking was a chore which limited me in helping some clients. I made it to the mailbox on Friday and that was the extent of my outdoor activity.

Saturday, I woke up and felt only slightly improved. My temperature had at least returned to normal and after gargling every hour the day before with apple cider vinegar my throat at least felt a little better. (I found the apple cider vinegar trick on the internet. I must say it works better then anything else I had tried, which was about a million lozenges and a whole lot of pain relievers.) My throat still hurt, but at least I was not feeling like I was swallowing a cactus all day.

Sunday, I woke up and felt better. My sore throat was still there, but if I was at a 10 pain wide on Wednesday and Thursday I was at a 5 by Sunday. Still a nuisance but it was manageable. I was completely stir crazy by Sunday. So, I went out to get a paper and later with Joyce to the pet store. Today, I am at a 3 pain wise and the sweats have passed and I almost feel like myself again.

It is never fun getting sick, but getting sick in the middle in July, is a complete kick in the crotch. I could have gone to three different cookouts this weekend. Instead I ate Ramen soup and Breyers, Chocolate Chip ice cream all weekend. I have no idea how I got sick, and I am beginning to wonder if I even had strep at this point. I think it is more likely I had tonsillitis which when you are 39 is embarrassing. Hopefully, by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest, I feel like myself again and can start eating real food.

Girl Power

For as long as there has been music I am betting that men have wrote songs about women. So, here is my list for the top ten songs with the names of girls in the title. I limited this to one title per artist.

Alison, Elvis Costello – I am a huge Elvis Costello fan, and it was hard to leave off another strong song by him in Veronica. Still for my money Allison is a little better and my favorite song with a woman’s name in the title. Costello has never revealed just who he wrote this song about, but you can feel the anguish in his lyrics. A masterpiece if there ever was one.

Bernadette, the Four Tops – Without a doubt my favorite Motown song and that is saying something as there are a ton of songs from that genre that I love. In this song, again you can hear the pain that this man feels about his love. This song is just an incredible achievement and moves me every time I hear it.

Cracklin' Rosie, Neal Diamond – Ah, good old Neil. One of my favorite lines from the movie What About Bob is, “There are two kinds of people in this world those who love Neil Diamond and those who don’t.” I have found this to be true and count me in the ranks of those who love the guy. My favorite Neil song is probably Cracklin’ Rosie witch has more hooks then a bait shop. Sure, Sweet Caroline is also a jam, but that is more overplayed. Also, this song is not really about a woman but a bottle of wine. I don’t care it is still a great tune.

Michele, the Beatles – I know a lot of Beatle fans that dismiss this song. I guess I understand. But, I have always had a soft spot for it. Lovely Rita is also a good Beatles tune, but for my money Michele is the best of the many Beatle songs with girl’s names in the title. This is a Paul piece of work and again is not really about anyone in particular.

Susanne, Weezer – OK, I know Weezer is kind of lame, yet I do like a lot of their catalog. Suzanne was a throwaway tune that it put out as a “B” side. I first heard it at the end of Mallrats, and became enchanted by it. It is a song written about a woman Susanne who was a PA at Geffen records who was of huge support to them when they first started out.

Jessica, the Allman Brothers – I understand it is strange to include an instrumental track on this list, but fuck it this song rocks. This is Dickie Betts at his southern rocking best. Just try not to tap a toe to this jam. Betts wrote it and named it after his daughter. Melissa is also a strong Allman Brothers tune, even if it has been overplayed.

Diane, Material Issue – Material Issue was a nice little band out of Chicago that wrote infectious pop songs that didn’t hurt anyone. Sadly Jim Ellison the front man committed suicide in 1996. Diane is my favorite tune that he crafted. No, it’s not a rock classic by any stretch of the imagination. But, it is a very good pop song that you can not resist.

Gloria, Shadows of Night – There have been numerous renderings of this song. It was written and preformed by one of my favorites in Van Morrison. And his version of the song is great. Still, for some reason, Shadows of Night, a band from the Chicagoland Burbs perform my favorite version of the tune. U2’s version is also pretty good, but the guy who is singing for the Shadows, just knocks this one out of the park.

Aimee, Pure Prairie League – Another one that I may get nuked for, but fuck it, I like the song. Is it a bit countryish, sure but it is still good. A great southern guitar intro and infectious lyrics which try as you might, you can not help but sing along with when you hear them.

Jennifer Juniper, Donavan – If you live as many years as I did with my Step Dad Lou, you can’t help but become a Donavan fan. Donavan wrote this song about Patty Boyd’s (who Layla was written about) sister Jennifer, who of course married Mick Fleetwood instead of him. It is a sweet little song that you can’t help but fall in love with when you hear it.

More Random Thoughts

Some more random thoughts.

I will never frequent an oil change business that has some kid out in front holding a sign. I know you’ve seen it. You are driving along and out in front of a Jiffy Lube and there is some poor kid hawking the latest deal to entice you in like some carnival barker in front of a peep show. Sorry, but this just reeks of desperation. I mean is there any more degrading thing you can do to some twenty year old? I will never, under any circumstance frequent a business that routinely stoops to this level.

O’Hare airport can lick my ball sack. Living in Chicago we are lucky enough in that we have two airports. If you ever need to come to our fair city or fly out of it do yourself a huge favor, fly out of Midway. To say Midway is more convenient is like saying the sky is blue. It is beyond obvious. O’Hare is a cluster fuck of an airport that is busy as shit and has more planes delayed then most. Every time I have to fly out of O’Hare be it work or pleasure, it is inevitable that my flight is delayed. Sadly, Midway is being less and less relevant as more and more airlines are leaving the airport. Southwest is pretty much the only alternative which brings a whole of other issues.

Grey’s Anatomy might be the worst show in the history of television. The few times I have been forced to watch this show, it has made my skin crawl. I love Lost, and most times ABC would run Grey’s Anatomy long and it would break into the beginning of Lost. So, I am forced to watch the end of the episodes and man does that show suck. It is basically a fucking soap opera and a bad one at that. It uses every cliché known to man to seduce bored housewives into escapism. Bad, acting, bad writing and bad music is usually not a good combination.

You never see anybody who is Mexican eating at Chipotle. It is kind of the same reason why you won’t see me eat at the Olive Garden. Chipotle burritos well, kind of suck. Yet, every tmie I walk by the one near me in the Loop, there are a ton of frat boy’s and trixe’s in line to get their bad tasting faux-burrito. My rule for any ethnic restaurant is if you don’t see people who are of that ethnicity eating there, it probably isn’t very good. The next time I see someone Mexican eating at Chipotle will be a first. I am not Mexican but I grew up with Summit burrito’s and Chipotle is about as Mexican as the Eiffel Tower.

The Dude in the Dockers who feels the need to sit next to me every morning on Metra is a pig. The man has many, revolting habits. To pick his worst is difficult, but I lean towards his nose picking. I swear, the man is mining for gold in the morning, and I mean he does this every morning. He also has a bad habit of taking his shoes off stinking up the train car with his obnoxious foot order. I have also heard him belch on more then once occasion and he always has a cup of coffee with him that he leaves behind after he gets up. I have tried changing seats and somehow he finds his way back to my car. He is a revolting human and somehow has a wife somewhere by evidenced by the ring on his finger. I don’t know her but I sympathize with her.

The Nanny

Sometimes I look back and wonder why I made what in hindsight are horrendous decisions. I have made some really bad ones when it comes to women in my life. The mistakes I made are in the end all worth it because it led me to Joyce. But, man did I make some bad choices along the way. Looking back at all of my bad experiences with the fairer sex, without a doubt my decision to date a nut job in my ex over this nice sweet girl, Jenna was one of the worst.

I had met Jenna via a setup. Now, I had never been set up before or was never set up again after that. Jenna was a nanny who was originally from Utah. She did not know anyone in Chicago. She was a nanny for this little boy who had the mis-fortune to be born to a doctor mother and a lawyer father.

She basically had her own apartment in their house in Burr Ridge. (The house was a fucking mansion. I have never been in a house this big before or since.) This was 1996. I was in a weird place dating wise at the time. It would be two years before I would meet Joyce and I had been broken up with Jenny for about two years. (Even though we had, a couple of rekindling moments, nothing stuck.) I was literally playing the field and enjoying my single status. When I was approached about meeting Jenna, I was not exactly enthusiastic.

My first thought was, how come she needs to be set up. My second thought was how come people think I need to be setup. I mean did I seem that desperate? I saw no picture of her, but with the premise of she is a nice girl and just take her out as friends and see what happens. I decided what could it hurt.

At first, I figured, she is from Utah and a nanny, she must be a Mormon. I was assured that she was not. So, got her phone number and called her. We talked over the phone and she seemed nice. So, we made a date to meet. Jenna was not a bad looking girl. She was German, had light brown hair, a pretty smile and was very, very wholesome. That was the problem.

At the time I was twenty six and she was twenty two. Not a big age difference but in experience there was a huge difference. She had one boyfriend her whole life that she meet in 8th grade and dated until she moved to Illinois. They had broken up and that led her to her decision to leave her small town as it was all too much to deal with being in that close proximity to her old flame. (Or at least that is what she told me.)

So, she had been with one guy her whole life and was on the rebound from him. Not an ideal situation in the least. Still, she was extremely sweet and had a charming personality. But, to say she was naive would be a huge understatement. It was like she was from a whole different world. She got none of my references and her taste in music was brutal as was her taste in movies. (We once went to the movies and saw Celtic Pride because she wanted to see it. We were the only two people in the theatre.)

Now, I know how this sounds but, you need to have at least some common ground when it comes to likes and dislikes. I mean sure Joyce and I have big differences when it comes to movies from time to time, but we can always open a paper and find a couple of movies we want to see. (It doesn’t hurt that Joyce has a kind of warped sense of humor and likes action movies.)

She liked country music and lame movies. (She was also a big fan of Disney films and merchandise.) Still, we went out a number of times and she actually liked me. (Might have been that her pool of talent to meet guys was small.) At the time that I was kind of seeing her, I also met the girl I would eventually pick over Jenna. I was kind of seeing them both for a couple weeks, and knew I was going to have to make a choice and live with it. At the time, I just felt that Jenna was too wholesome for my depraved ass. So, I made my decision with I admit the wrong head.

We went out probably like ten to fifteen times. I won’t go into specifics but things never got as physical as I thought they should have at that point in our relationship. I mean she would invite me to her house on a Friday night and we would wind up playing scrabble for Christ’s sake. Where I come from you don’t invite a guy over to your house on a Friday night to play board games unless it is Twister.

In retrospect I know I was kind of an asshole. I finally got tired of her and instead of properly breaking up with her, I just stopped calling and stopped answering the phone when she came up on caller ID. I realize the relationship was never going to go anywhere but, I still owed her a proper explanation. Her last message to me, made me feel really bad. Instead of ripping me which she had every right to do, she took the high road. Which for someone that was four years younger then me speaks volumes of where we where maturity wise.

So, all of these years later I kind of feel bad about it. I understand that I was an asshole to more women then just her, but of all of them she deserved it the least. I am sure she is over it as I realize I am not, that charming. But still I always felt bad about how I treated her. I hope she is doing well and found someone that treated her as she deserved to be treated.