Yes, I am 12.

In case anyone wants to look me up, I setup a facebook account as well. Either put in my name in facebook and send me a friend request or let me know and I will look you up.

A Staycation

As of 4:30 PM CST I am on vacation until December 1^st. I look forward to basically doing nothing. I am going to sit on my fat ass and watch a bunch of DVD’s. (I will also enjoy my wife’s company.) I may do some house chores here and there but I busted my ass the last couple of weekends making sure my load will be as light as possible for my vacation.

On Saturday I am going on what should be a rather large pub crawl for my friends Wally and Johna down 95^th street. Last time I did a 95^th street pub crawl I came home and immediately vomited. Obviously, I hope that is not the case this Saturday. I was put in charge of the whistle for the event.

This is a huge responsibility as when I blow said whistle our group will be leaving the bar and heading to our next spot. Meaning that I say how long we spend at each establishment. I am not sure what handing that task to me says about Nick. Possibly, I was thought of as the most responsible of the group. Or, maybe I am the most Nazi like in my quest to keep things moving along. Then again, I may be considered the slowest drinker and the thought is when I am done with my drink most everyone else should be as well. Whatever the reason, I will take on the responsibility and try not to abuse the power that comes with being the Grand Marshall.

Next Thursday is Thanksgiving and that should be fun. My Dad is coming in from Ohio next week and I am sure many a hand of 500 rummy will be played with my family. Thanksgiving at least in my family is a total guy holiday. The men sit around drinking and watching football while the women slave over a huge turkey dinner. Do, I feel guilty about this, yes but I am much to fat and lazy to do anything about it.

Other then that I plan on resting up with my time off, until I am forced back into the abyss on December 1st. I am still in training for the Shamrock Scuffle in March and the race to Wrigley in April. I am up to nearly three miles without stopping. I need to get to five for the Shamrock. Hopefully, I get there before I have a grabber on a treadmill at Cardinal Fitness.

Book Report Time

It has been a while since I submitted a book report. Here is very brief report of the last five books I have read.

The Browns Chicken Massacre by Maurice Possley – If you live in the Chicagoland area then no doubt you are familiar with the 1993 massacre that took place at a Browns Chicken in Palatine. The case went unsolved for over a decade. DNA evidence caught up with the killers though and thankfully both assholes were caught. The book tells the story of the investigation. It is pretty good but, I have read better true crime books.

Boys Will Be Boys by Jeff Pearlman – I am not a fan of the Dallas Cowboys. But, the 1990’s Cowboy teams were entertaining. Well, this book sheds those teams in a very honest and harsh light. A group that was great but self destructed due to over indulgence and excess. It is worth a gander just to read about Charles Haley and his masturbation practices in the locker room.

A Promise to Ourselves by Alec Baldwin – This book is more about divorce proceedings in America and how flawed they are. A lot of the book tells of his own personal experience with the system via his own messy highly publicized divorce. I like Alec Baldwin warts and all and I thought the book was entertaining and made its point at the same time.

God Save the Fan by Will Leitch – I am an ardent reader of the sports blog Deadspin. Leitch is the former editor of the site. This book is pretty funny and sends up a lot of the gasbags at ESPN. If you are not familiar with the site I highly suggest googling Carl Monday and You’re With Me Leather to get a better understanding of the true genius of the site.

In His Sights by Kate Brennan – I found this one at the Oak Lawn library one day. It is written by a woman who has been stalked by her ex-boyfriend for over fifteen years. She now lives under an alias in a different city. She has to live her life in fear and is constantly looking over her shoulder. That is no way to go through life and anytime I want to bitch about some minor inconvenience I will think about what this lady has to go through all because of some asshole.

Fast Food Hidden Gems

I am not a huge proponent of corporate fast food. For the most part it is shit and you can always find something better if you look around. Still, there are always exceptions to the rule. Here are ten hidden gems you can find at fast food establishments. These are not items that the restaurants are known for but are worth a purchase.

McDonald’s Apple Pie – While I prefer the old school fried apple pie, their baked one isn’t half bad. I really don’t like Mickey D’s and rarely eat there but when I do go, I always get a pie.

Burger King Mac and Cheese – A new item on the menu and a good one. It is basically Kraft Easy Mac, but as a fan of the genre I love the fact I can get it as a side with my Whopper.

Wendy’s Frosty – As far as fast food shakes go, Wendy’s Frosty is the best. So think you can eat it with a spoon.

Popeye’s Onion Rings – My wife introduced these to me and they are crack. Onion Rings that are spicy, seems so simple. They are just killer.

Brown’s Cheesy Potato – A couple of years ago, my wife and I decided to cater some Browns. I was adamant that we get some cheesy potatoes. Joyce shrugged her shoulders and then after they were the hit of the party knew better then to ever question my food selections again

Potbelly’s Pickle – I am a fan of Potbelly’s subs. They are for the most part a Chicago place but they are growing. If you go trust me get a pickle. This is the best pickle I have ever had.

KFC Pot Pie – This should be front and center on KFC’s menu. I love pot pies and their version kicks ass. Sadly, the KFC nearest to my house doesn’t even carry pot pies. That is a crime as these things rock. Another one I got my wife addicted to.

Jack in the Box Taco – Sadly Jack and the Box is no longer in the Chicago market. But, whenever I find myself in a town that has one, I make sure to get a taco. They are deep fried tastes of joy.

White Castle Egg, Bacon and Cheese – Who knew White Castle has such a good breakfast? It is a real egg (not the Mickey D’s mystery egg food) with bacon and cheese all served on wheat toast. I am telling you it rocks.

Arbys French Dip – I am a French Dip fan and for fast food Arbys makes a pretty decent version. Make sure you order it without cheese however. But the Au Jus is tasty and the beef is lean. All you could ask for in a French Dip.

The Chuck E. Cheese Story

There are decisions you make when you are younger that you can only make when you are of a certain age. As one gets older and one tends to take stock of themselves, you tend to shake your head at the foolish things you did. So, with that in mind I give you my Chuck E. Cheese story.

One night in my early twenties myself, my friend Wally and our co-worker Schlie (his name was Andrew but we always called him by his last name) were set to head out on a Friday night to the bars in the Lincoln Park area. I was just out of De Paul I believe at this point but, still was visiting a number of my old haunts. Schlie lived in the area. He also worked with us at IRI.

We were all set to head up to Schlie’s apartment after work and then eventually head out on the town for a night, of drinking, ogling Trixies and other male debauchery. We got to Schlie’s and had a couple of beers there. We bullshited and started mapping out our plans for the evening. At some point we figured we had better grab a bite to eat before getting our drink on. It was at that point Schlie suggested a Chuck E. Cheese that was within walking distance.

His argument consisted of, it was cheap and they had beer on tap. Three guys in their early twenties getting a table together at Chuck E. Cheese with no children in their party is well, creepy. Why this didn’t dawn on us at the time I have no idea. The lure of cheap eats and beer was all we thought about. So, we decided to head there.

We grabbed a table and ordered a pitcher of beer and some pizzas ignoring the concerned look of the parents nearby us. With our order came some free game tokens. So, after eating some really, really bad pizza, I took the tokens into the gaming area. I have always been a pop-a-shot God. Some are good at ski ball while others excel at the vaunted whack-a-mole. Pop-a-shot has always been my game.

For those not familiar with the concept, pop-a-shot is a basketball shooting game. You usually get 3-4 balls and a time limit. You usually have like 40 seconds to sink as many shots as possible, earning points for each successful shot. Based on how many points you obtain you are rewarded tickets which you can redeem for a toy, candy or a stuffed animal.

The irony in all of this is, I suck at basketball but pop-a-shot is my game. I sharpened my skills due to the copious amount of time I spent in the late 80’s playing the game at Haunted Trails. Years later, I was at Dave and Busters at a work outing for Harris Bank and I beat all challengers. I must have won fifteen games in a row. When I get in the zone I just don’t miss. Anyway, I saw the pop-a-shot at Chuck E. Cheese and since I had some free tokens I figured I would play a quick game.

As a result of my play, I won some tickets. Not really needing some Laffy Taffy or a stuffed Tasmanian Devil, I gave the tickets to some random kid. The next thing I know, I had every kid in the place giving me tokens so that I could win him or her some tickets. I looked and I soon had a line of kids longer then the wait to get on the Eagle at Great America.

I just kept shooting. Wally and Schlie were playing some air hockey or something. In the meantime my right arm was falling off as I kept feeding tokens into the machine so these kids could get some tickets. The funny thing is none of this seemed odd at the time.

I wound up spending what should have been quality time tipping back some beverages playing pop-a-shot. Here I was at a Chuck E. Cheese with a bunch of nine year olds bitching that I won the last kid twelve tickets while I only won him eleven. It was surreal.

Eventually we headed out and got drunk as planned. I can’t remember where we went or who we ran into or anything like that. The only detail I do remember from that night was the excursion to Chuck E. Cheese. The more and more I told people of this, the more quizzical looks I got. In today’s environment the manager would have probably called the cops on us just for showing up without any kids of our own. But back in the early 90’s (in the days before NBC’s Dateline) child molesters were able to roam much more freely.

Five Years Strong

Tomorrow I will have been married to Joyce for five years. I wrote a couple of weeks ago about our ten years being together last week, and now we have been married for half a decade. Hard to believe it has already been five years but, time flies when you are having fun.

Today is the five year anniversary of our rehearsal dinner which was at the Old Barn. I was said to read of the doors closing on the place. Our reception hall (the Martinique) was closed a couple of months after our wedding and now this.

Unlike those establishments Joyce and I keep on keeping on. As Kenny Rodgers would say, “Through the year, you’ve never let me down. You turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found I’ve found with you. Through the years I’ve never been afraid, I’ve loved the life we’ve made. And I’m so glad I’ve stayed, right here with you
Through the years.”

Thank You Howard

I think I summed up my feelings on the election yesterday. However, I did want to send a shout out to someone who no one that I have seen has mentioned yet. Someone I feel deserves a huge fucking pat on the back and without whom, I not sure Obama would have won.

That man is Howard Dean. From the day he took over the DNC he has changed the party. His 50 state strategy started bearing fruit in 2006 and was the first step in last nights result. The Democrats won in Indiana and Virginia for the first time in my lifetime. North Carolina looks like it went blue as well. If I had told you that four years ago that a black Democrat would win those states in 2008 you would have thought I was crazy.

So, yes, Obama and Axelrod and Plouffe deserve a shit load of credit for the campaign they ran. But someone needs to really thank Howard Dean. He brought this party into the 21^st century and it was under his leadership that all this was possible. Mr. Dean thank you. Thank you for planting the seeds that led to a truly historic night. For the first time in very long time America has hope. Let’s just hope we don’t blow this huge opportunity.

Yes, Another Lame Blog About the Election

Today is the, what I hope to be the beginning to something good. Today we will hopefully be electing Barack Obama as President of the Untied States. I got up at 6 AM and gleefully placed my vote. This is the first time I have gleefully placed a vote for President since 1996 for Clinton.

Against my better judgment I voted for Al Gore in 2000. I had given serious thought to voting for Nader that year but at literally the last minute changed my mind and punched in Gore. I hated Gore’s pick of Lieberman and felt (and still feel) that Gore ran a brutal campaign. I still blame him for the 8 years of George W. Bush.

In 2004 I voted for Kerry but did not do so with much happiness. I would have voted for a trained chimp over Bush. Still, Kerry did not instill me with a lot of excitement. Again, I thought he ran a shit campaign and felt like there were numerous other candidates among the Democrats that would have been better choices to beat Bush in 04. (My personal choice that year was Gen. Wesley Clark but by the time Illinois voted Kerry had pretty much locked up the nomination.)

This time I was more then enthusiastic to place my vote. My guy actually won the nomination. I am not naive enough to believe that Obama has a magic wand that is going to instantly fix everything, but this is a step in the right direction. He has a huge challenge in trying to right the ship after eight years of bungling of Bush and Cheney.

In all seriousness if you need further proof of just how little America thinks of Bush, all you need to know is America is on the verge of electing a one term black senator with a Muslim sounding name. Really, John McCain had no chance. No Republican had much hope after the eight years of fuck ups of our current administration.

Yet, McCain and Obama were neck and neck in July. To me there were three turning points in this election. First was McCain’s pick of Palin. A pundit on CNN said it best last night. That was a great August pick but not such a great pick for November. As we have had over two months to get to know Palin it has become abundantly clear she is shockingly ignorant and well, not that bright. Every time she is off script she makes a bigger idiot of herself. I know a lot of the conservative base has embraced her and that is truly scary.

Second, was the economy taking a major dump. I don’t buy the argument that it automatically helped Obama because he was the non-incumbent party. I truly believe the American public has more faith in Obama handling the economy then McCain. The quote that has come back to haunt McCain throughout the campaign was when he admitted he doesn’t know much about the economy. Economics is not for dumb people. (See Bush, George W.) Obama is a lot of things, but dumb is not one of them. You don’t graduate from Harvard if you are stupid.

Thirdly, was McCain’s negative campaign. Negative campaigning works up to a point. McCain, not able to run on his record resorted to a campaign that was so negative even Karl Rove called him out on it. Obama had his share of negative ad’s as well, but his campaign was not nearly as hateful as McCain’s. You can see the difference in the speeches they gave yesterday. Obama speaking in Virginia talked about hope, change and optimism. McCain talked about Obama. I really think people just got sick of hearing McCain bitch, where as Obama inspired people. In the end I think that made a huge difference.

So, tonight I will be sitting at home in my tidy whities working the remote like it is a play station controller. If you are a political junkie like me, nights like tonight come around every four years and you can be damn sure I am going to be glued to my set. Hopefully tonight, I can celebrate. I take no solace in being right about Bush. Seeing us in Iraq for no reason, an economy in the toilet, more jobs lost or in India, millions of American’s without healthcare, more of our civil rights being trampled on, stem cell research being halted, that is nothing to be happy about. Again, Obama is not going to fix everything overnight but at least now we will have a leader that is a learned man and someone with a conscience.